Hi everyone I've just discovered this website. At Christmas 2004 i was chronically aneamic after having 2 bleeding stomach ulcers. I was getting back pains and feeling breathless.. I went to my GP who said i had pneumonia that night i woke up in great pain in my back i was also shaking uncontrollably. My husband called the doctor out who took me to hospital and put me in high dependency. The next day according to my husband as I don't remember any of this i was sitting in bed and suddenly both my lungs collapsed i was put on life support after i was incubated and had 4 tubes coming out of my side's into buckets trying to help my lungs. I was given a 5% chance to live and my family were called in thinking it was the end. I woke up 3 months later with a tracheotmy so I couldn't speak. I could not lift even my finger. I had horrendous dreams while under and i was very confused. I had a couple of bad experiences with a night nurse who thought it was fun to hurt me mentally and physically. I managed some how to report her. I was in st Thomas hospital in london. After 8 months in hospital getting better i have been left with permanent damage to my lungs they work 50% and i have to use oxygen all the time when out. My back is somehow bent a little so I can't stand straight and i have a bad hip. The mental scars are still there my memory is really bad and i get very confused i even thought I had dementia even though I'm only 49. I'm still on drugs for anxiety and depression and i feel like nobody understands. I should be happy i beat the odds and even had another child after getting pregnant 4 months after leaving hospital but I'm not happy and i feel like a burden. Hop someone understands. Xx
My first post: Hi everyone I've just discovered... - ICUsteps
My first post
Totally understand. Do you have access to an Icu steps support group? X
I am sorry to hear about your traumatic experience. As someone replied and asked about whether you had an ICU support group I am attaching a link to a guide which you may find helpful.
Dear Fleur also this radio programme is only 14 minutes long and may help you understand what happened to you,
If you would like to private message me I will reply. I almost lost my younger brother. He was 49 with a young child when it happened. My world felt over.
Best wishes a sister.
Oh dear fleure it makes me sad to hear your story because it is so similar to my own. I was only in hospital for 7 weeks but it still felt like a lifetime. I think everyone has the dreams. So scary. When i woke up i couldn't scratch my nose. It's been over 4 years now and still get badly out of breath, can't remember stuff. Compared to you i am very lucky but you are right we are not happy. We are fed up feeling ill. Anyway enough of that. Just keep popping back to this website. I do just to remind myself that I am not alone.
I experienced H1N1, double pneumonia, and sepsis 9yrs. Ago. I was in a medically induced coma for 2 weeks, Bi-pap for 2 weeks, and rehab for 3 weeks. I gradually improved I a year. I am an RN and held a position as supervisor for Home Health Care for 25 years, but could no longer work because of short term memory loss and poor endurance. I felt like a rug and been jerked out from under me. I now have fibromyalgia, COPD, diastolic CHF, and unsteady gait. I have depression and anxiety that I battle everyday. I use oxygen at night. Oxygen salts are around 92. I am so thankful to still be here, but I am tired! My family doesn’t understand, and I feel so alone. It has helped me so much hear from others.
I totally agree some of the nurses goed me playing me up was far to early for general ward who didn’t have a clue bout delerium it was auwful had to sneak out taxi home for self protective measures otherwise would had a nervous breakdown I know where your coming from it’s been 12 months since icu for 6 months in total had a massive bleed 50units it was coming out quicker than they could put it in , in June tried to top myself 20 Valium and a pack of cider but didn’t work just made everything 10 times worse I don’t know if I can cope anymore and feel like taking 50 valiums that will do the job all the best to u take care
Ditto I feel exactly the same x
Have you heard of cognitive dysfunction- which is a really common ‘side effect’ of ICU. My THINKING has improved but has not returned to how I was before ICU.
I found this guide really helpful for deciding what was the new norm.
Never give up hope
Post-operative delirium/psychosis
My episodes
Is "You are in hospital" really reassuring?
New, Husband 26 yrs old, Critical after Hit & Run
