That's what my other half thinks every time I have too much to drink and the tears flow. Like tonight. Nearly 2 years on I feel a physical lump in my throat and deep pain I want to cut and let flow out to relieve something I cannot describe but something that brings these emotions of sadness, loss, anger following my critical illness in childbirth. I'm sounding out to you guys as you understand like no others. I had a medical art student capture some of my hallucinations in a song and forwarded this to my nearest and dearest and only one replied, the others have not acknowledged but my family were brought up not to display emotion and no doubt, my near death devastated them whilst they barely visited me in my seven weeks admission. Anyway, a sound out. Tomorrow will be ok again; on a level.