Sexual Health Bordering Anxiety

[benshat]

Hi All,

In the early hours of Saturday November 8th 2014 I was in a Gay Bar in Manchester where I kissed one guy around three or four times and another guy kisses me on each cheek but I thought at first he had bitten me on the cheek; however a security guard and a photo showed he had not bitten me and my first thought was could I have anything? I got home about five am and went to bed.

When I got up around 11AM I phoned The Sexual Health Line who said no need to worry and I then started thinking as I was walking around various men did I kiss someone's fly hole and again I was told no need to panic.

The lady on the SHL was more concerned about my anxiety and as the evening went on I was thinking how when a guy kissed me did my lip get bitten but again nothing showing outside the lip but inside the mouth looked tender but I would remember if someone had gone inside; I phoned SHL and again no need to worry.

I was starting to think it was all my anxiety again and trying to put it behind me. I went to bed on the Sunday evening and started to think about the kisses again and thought had I forgotten when someone kissed me and I then started thinking had I had unprotected oral sex when someone had sucked my penis as I could not remember if I went to the toilet before I left the Bar.

I immediately said to myself stop worrying as it is anxiety and I know not to have unprotected sex. I am also aware that the guy who kissed me on the cheeks asked me about sex and I remember saying no.

I had a fair amount to drink that night but whilst in this gay bar I had no extra drink at all; I had been refused entry in one bar and when I was in the taxi home I may have drifted off and struggled when paying but I was definitely alone then.

When I masturbate sometimes (This is not a result of this night it happens anyway) sometimes my penis gets sore and if you put a tissue on it you may see small bits of blood, I had masturbated the day before this night out.

To be on the safe side one day short of twelve weeks I wnet for HIV1, HIV2, Ghonorreah, Clamiddea, SYphillis, Hep B (Already Inoculated for this anyway) and Hep C and everything was negative.

The clinic I went to was a private clinic where I just went and paid for tests and didn't discuss anything about what had happened and just I wanted peace of mind.

Last weekend my stools were white but I do suffer from piles and the Walk In Centre and I too believe that is a result of Anusal Capules I put up my bottom; it has not happened since; my water has been reasonable just occasionally different colours (That may just be my imagination).

Would you agree I should put this behind me and agree to Cognitive Behaviour Therapy and stop worrying about STD's or do I need to wait until 180 days and go for Hep C?

I think about this daily and the anxiety is building; I think about the fact I was nothing thinking about sex until almost two days after and even though I had alcohol in me I had said no when someone asked me. Is it anxiety or could I have forgotten something when I remember most parts of the rest of the night?

[jeanjames]

I'm listening.....you are sounding very unhappy. I do suggest you get medical help and take control of your body! The love you are seeking surely must be within you. Y ou sound like a good person.....allow that goodness in......Speak to friends allow yourself to be vulnerable you will be amazed at how many people love you.

Sending you healing thoughts

Jean

xxx

[benshat in reply to jeanjames]

Are you Kerry blue