Life changes.

[teejay75]

In October last year my partner suffered a brain heammoraghe. Luckily he was admitted to the Walton Centre Liverpool as he was in that area at the time. No one can begin to prepare a family for the emotions you go through watching a loved one lay in a coma and the feelings of helplessness are horrible.

He was in a coma for 4 and a half weeks. After weeks of fantastic care he was transferred to the MRI in manchester alot closer to home. After being in there for 10 days he was discharged with a bag pills. There was no after care given at all. It was a very scary time. My partner was weak and stressful. What was nearly 6weeks for us felt like a week for him. To say it was a hard time is an understatement. Life goes on and we did our best. Its been a struggle and with no support for him at times it felt like our life would never be the same.

The ESA ruled him fit for work mainly due to the fact he was clean and could sit in a chair. So if i let him attend a medical looking dirty and smelling then he would have passed the medical..unreal. Its myself who encourges him to get up in the mornings , have a wash and get on with the day ahead.

He struggles with his memory and walking can be difficult for him. Dizzy spells throughout the day dont help him. Depression is a key factor. Many days he is down and just watches tv. When famy memebers or friends come to visit he tries to act 'normal'. This is mainly as he doesnt want them to feel sorry for him or treat him differently. He tires easily and this gets him very annoyed. As many will know its hard keeping it all together and getting through a day without too much drama is a blessing.

Having said all this we are a very lucky family. He was never suppose to have survived the week after his op. He will see his sons progress in life.

[wirralt]

i know exactly how you feel hoping you have been lucky enough to have a local headway group near where you live ? please read my blog i feel we are very much in the same position ,

take care and get in touch if you fancy a chat

tracy x

[fuzzyhead]

My cousin's ESA has been stopped for no particular reason despite a consultant confirming she is in constant pain; I would certainly recommend appealing the decision, although there is such a backlog it will take months anyway. OT's should be able to confirm he is unable to work and about two thirds of appeals are currently being upheld.

[teejay75]

We have had support through our local headway and they put us in touch with a welfare solicitor which has took alot of the stress, which is a blessing. My partner has not had any addition after care. We only see his GP monthly.

The sad thing is all people see is what is on the outside and do not consider the hidden problems.

[Jigsaw]

Hi, so sorry to hear about your partner.

My SAH happened a year ago, I am lucky in that physically I am fine but inside my brain is not the same. My short term memory, concentration etc has been affected and I still don't know this new 'me'

I also had no aftercare and have found Headway a god-send if only that I feel 'normal' there! Free to chat anytime

Take care

[SpirallingUp]

I think it takes along time to adjust to the 'new' you and there is not enough information provided by the NHS. We were told its a long slow road of recovery I never in my wildest dreams thought they ment this long! x

Love to all x