Update on son

[Dogsabighelp]

Morning all.sent son I pod he likes the music.nurses say he gave a "thumbs up" when asked if comfy.last night I spoke with him on speakerphone and he was squeezing nurses hand very tightly.I tried to explain why I can't visit I hope he understands..

[cat3]

Hi again D. Your son seems to be progressing well. His brain and body have taken some serious trauma and I'd expect a long road ahead but, from your update today, he seems to be showing really positive signs of awareness. His thumbs up and strong hand contact suggest a healthy attempt at communication and positivity.

I'm sure the staff will be repeatedly reminding him of the reasons for his being there and explaining the absence of loved ones. It's common practice with brain injured patients for nurses to routinely reinforce wellbeing and positivity with repeated reassurances.

I hope you're managing to offload your stress and frustration from the circumstances of your son's injuries and that you feel adequately supported by the TA and police in respect of the motoring incident. I really do empathise.

My son was kicked repeatedly in the head years ago after being knocked unconscious by thugs as he walked his girlfriend home (they held her and made her watch) and though a police car passing at the time apprehended them and they were charged, they absconded after being bailed and were never held to account. I still fume when thinking about it.

I hope there are many more improvements just around the corned m'love.

All best wishes. x

[Dogsabighelp in reply to cat3]

Thanks cat,I'm doing OK,house has never been so tidy!I'm becoming quite good at my daily routines,its so nice to get positive feedback means the world🐕

[cat3 in reply to Dogsabighelp]

Keep the updates coming D... xx

[crashclown]

Wonderful to hear a update on ur son.Music is super helpful.As Im writing this,Ive got music blaring,LOL It gets me thru my worst days.

Sounds like hes making progress

😄👍 Im sure he feels ur love,even by speakerphone.Best to u and ur son.

Wonderful to hear ur update on ur son.

[Dogsabighelp in reply to crashclown]

Thanks so muchxx🐕‍🦺

[crashclown in reply to Dogsabighelp]

You r very welcome 😃

[Kezza72]

I’ve been exactly where you are 11 months ago and it’s so hard. I too was unable to see my daughter (despite being a nurse at the same trust!) He will probably forget the reasons why you cannot visit, but just keep reminding him and tell him how much you wish you could be there but that you need to keep everyone safe. I’m an ICU nurse and music is a great calming therapy for patients. With my daughter when we played her favourite music in ICU her heart rate, BP and agitation all settled. I have a video of our daughter in ICU responding to her favourite music. I really hope the best for your son, you and your family. I have neurosurgical medical knowledge and experience so I knew the sort of what to expect and I’ve been exactly were you are now. It’s hard and my heart breaks for you but if I can answer any questions or give advice please don’t hesitate to ask x

[Dogsabighelp in reply to Kezza72]

I was hoping you would get in touch kezza,remember your first msg our stories are similar.without seeing son its very hard to know.some staff I speak to just give me the details,others are more(how can I put it..engaging?)his bones are healing well.the b/I is diffuse axonal.I read all I can but can't figure out what stage he is at.one nurse told me last week they were considering giving him a talking device?(tracheotomy) and that physio team were pleased with his progress.then later in week I was told that there had been no real improvement.the nurse that let me speak to said that he touches shoulders of them when they bend towards him,I guess for washing etc.he had given a thumbs up at one point.his eyes open when they put music on.I really don't know what or who to believe.I feel an overwhelming sense of guilt that I can't be there when he has needed me most.I thought it bad when he was on tour of duty whilst in army but nothing compares to this...xx

[Kezza72]

I really can truly empathise with you. When my daughter was in hospital getting information was a nightmare. It was as if you were being bothersome! It really upset me and all I thought was how would that nurse feel if it was her child? As she was on the ICU I worked on, they allowed me to visit but after that I did not see her for six weeks. She then got discharged early due to me being able to nurse her at home with some extra equipment. I now ring my patients relative twice a day. I’ve been working on a Covid ICU (can’t work on the normal one where my daughter was....PTSD!) so it’s hard to have a phone conversation with a full respirator mask on. So in the morning and evening I ringing my relatives to give them regular updates off the Covid unit. The relatives are so thankful as I’m the one that spends a full shift with the patient. One relative said it gave her a bit of comfort that the one caring for her husband was the one to give an update. A lot of ICU nurses just don’t get it! So my experiences of being on the other side have really enhanced my nursing. Is your son able to mouth words? The fact that he’s giving a thumbs up, sitting forward on command shows he has some awareness. How long ago was his accident? He has a trachy, is he still ventilated? How old is he? Can you sort a FaceTime call with your son? Sorry for all the questions! My heart really goes out to you, sending a huge bear hug x

[Dogsabighelp in reply to Kezza72]

Son is 36 and conscious so I'm told.he was gcs3 at scene of accident.he is no longer ventilated 8 weeks later.diffuse axonal injury and occipital condyle fracture.its amazing he survived at all.multiple other broken bones are healing well.hospital say he has been referred for rehabilitation?

[Kezza72]

That’s positive if he has been referred for rehab. He will get more intensive physio and rehab than on the ward. I do know there tends to be a waiting list for a neuro rehab bed, so be prepared you might have to wait a little while. My daughter came on leaps and bounds in rehab and so have a lot of my ICU patients. Whereabouts in the country do you live?

It is still very early days, it can take upto 2 years to optimise a brain injury patient and before you know their full potential. My daughter has been so lucky, the neurosurgeons operated twice really early which helped to prevent any further damage. She’s very much the daughter I knew before her accident but a different version. I remember being told by my ICU consultant/colleague that she might not survive as her injuries were so severe yet she proved everyone wrong and gets to have another birthday tomorrow which I never thought she would.

Ask the hospital to do a FaceTime call, all hospitals have the facility to do this due to the pandemic. That way you can see your son and be able to see his recovery progress yourself.

Each brain injury is unique, so it is really difficult to predict how your son will recover at this stage. Two months on is really early days, although to you I know will have felt like a lifetime. I have seen patients go onto to do so much better than we ever thought they would. It’s just a case of giving him time x