My short term partner doesn’t remember me after waking up from a 6 week coma

[Lostandalone21]

I was in a 4 month relationship with someone before they went into a 6 week medically induced coma following a TBI. Unfortunately only the next of kin are allowed to visit the patient. The NOK asked if they remembered me and they don’t remember me, or certainly not my name. I don’t know what to do, how to feel, or whether this is a short term memory loss and whether they will start to remember. Can anyone please advise

[Pairofboots]

Unfortunately you ask the million dollar question. There isn't any way of knowing if the memory of you will return, or if it does, whether they will be the same person you knew before. It is a waiting game, and when you do get a chance to meet, take things one small step at a time. Take care.

[sealiphone]

My immediate though was why does he have to remember you, as when you do meet, why would you not 'hit it off' again.

Your predicament is made worse due to COVID visiting restrictions, so perhaps a photo may help.

However as Pairofboots as already said it's possible that someone after a TBI isn't fully the same person.

[Hidden]

Apparently when I woke after the coma I didn't remember my son ,the first couple of weeks after I woke I have no memories of at all only what I learn from him but my son says he just kept bringing in photos, talking about past things that had happened and that worked,yet when my friend came to visit I knew her straight away there's no rhyme or reason to what way the brain wakes up,if you have photos of thetwo of you ask his next of kin to take them in or just talk about yous as a couple ,as my son tells me patience is needed and hopefully it will work out in the end

[New_beginning]

Sadly this appears the norm. My husband didnt know who I was, he thought our son was still 3 he was 14 at the time and even when he came home took another 4 weeks until he acknowledged our daughter, but 6th week helped with nappy change she not long turned 2. My husbands TBI happen in March 2020.

The only thing I could suggest, keep in close contact with his family and offer support where needed, even if popping to supermarket to grab them items or pets to offer feeding or if dog walking. Those little suggestions will be most welcomed and will stick with them at this difficult stage.

I wish your partner a positive recovery and wish you and his nearest the best.

[Gela64]

I agree -when my husband came out of his coma he didnt know my name or anyone else's. Much better now but as others have said - no one knows how the brain heals and makes new connections- totally individual. Used to drive me demented as I wanted to know what to expect. Hang in there but it is often a slow road n

[cat3]

It can be SO upsetting for loved ones. My daughter left in tears many times when I was in ICU after a ABI ; I apparently thought she was a neighbour and kept thanking her (with great surprise) for visiting me.

Despite being really close, my poor girl missed some visits as she was too upset to see me. It was several weeks before I recognised her and I was horribly upset when later learning of this, and other, bizarre behaviour.

Could your partner's family take in a couple of photos of you ? ....after a brain injury a name could be especially difficult to process. I hope this resolves soon m'love ; it's upsetting enough when a loved one is so poorly. But I hear of this issue so often and I hope it's only a matter of time before it resolves for you. All best wishes, Cat x

[sashaming1]

I experienced something similar after I had a TBI. My wife showed up at the hospital and the Nurse said to me that my wife was here and I said to my wife "No you're not!" It was short term.

[Lynd]

My Husband spent weeks calling me Wendy. I know Wendy was an old Girlfriend. I honestly don't think he had a clue who I was. However, he recognised an old university friend straight away.It was tough but sharing photographs helped a lot and it eventually became ok.

After two years four months he will not remember things from a long time ago but if I prompt him it will click into his brain. He can then give me detail.

Short term memory is more of a problem now.

I suggest you look for the Headway website. They have a lot of information on there.

Take care.