Fireworks : Sat here on slow boil. Post BI injury... - Headway

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Fireworks

sospan
sospan

Sat here on slow boil. Post BI injury patience wearing very thin

Where I am people have been letting fireworks off for the last two weeks starting at 8 am in the morning to the early hours.

Just went passed a shop that just sells fireworks just after 6 pm. I counted fifteen people in the queue outside the shop. The food bank is a few doors away which kind of makes a mockery of the financial crisis the country is in

A guy in a supermarket with hist kids complaining to the store staff that there are no marshmallows left for the bonfire!

Now back home my windows are rattling with the continuous bangs of the fireworks. My dog isn't frightened but keeps on running around to look out the window to see what the sound and the flasher are.

So it only 7 pm and only another 7 hours to go until the fireworks stop

Head injury, fireworks and a being a grumpy old man aren't a good mix !

49 Replies
oldestnewest

Im literally having fag break and good cry as too much for husband. Hes now locked away in his room after verbal abuse towards me. Im so anxious with new year after 2nd night of these fireworks 😢

sospan
sospan in reply to New_beginning

Yep, it is triggering all sorts of emotions for me

Painting-girl
Painting-girl in reply to sospan

Me too, though sort of wish I could be outside freezing, eating chestnuts and clutching a sparkler though - my husband left without warning 15 years ago today - feel it really shouldn't have any resonance with me still 😱

Though probably wouldn't notice if there wasn't a load of bangs and crashes going on??

Perhaps I should sort out the sparklers and chestnuts for next year - think that would be a good aim - and meanwhile there's tv and chocolate 😊

Oh no, poor you - sending a hug 🌸 x sounds difficult.

Oh dear!! Eating chocolate and watching junk TV is insulating me from it all 🌸

sospan
sospan in reply to Painting-girl

my wife had one of those days today. She is feeling a bit poorly so she spent the day watching a simple comedy series wrapped up in a traveling blanket and on her second box of matchmakers chocolates.

at 7:45 she retired to bed with the next best things to chocolate - strong painkillers!

Painting-girl
Painting-girl in reply to sospan

Good strategies! 😊 Hope she feels better soon.

Does sound a bit like a warzone outside here..! 😱

New_beginning
New_beginning in reply to sospan

Despite this 💩 situation, im actually thinking of the orange flavoured matchmakers now 🤦🏽‍♀️.

sospan
sospan in reply to New_beginning

Part of the reason I had to go out was the absence of chocolate. And I came back with the "Salted caramel" version which apparently are really, really good not that I would ever get to test them .......

New_beginning
New_beginning in reply to sospan

Its on the snack list for xmas, not tried that flavour. Mind, with husband doing his midnight raids in cupboards, i will have to hide maybe 🤭.

Thank you for distracting me on chocolate this evening, been tough going.

sospan
sospan in reply to New_beginning

We don't drink, smoke, gamble but chocolate...... is her vice

Painting-girl
Painting-girl in reply to sospan

Same here. Tonight I think I accidentally raided the chocolate I'd put aside for Christmas presents ....😂

Painting-girl
Painting-girl in reply to sospan

Haven't had those ones - will now have a new mission to find some. ...😊

sospan
sospan in reply to Painting-girl

Matchmakers are something special for my wife, it was what I gave her on our first date at the cinema over 44 years ago! So when they come back into the shops the memories come back :-)

Painting-girl
Painting-girl in reply to sospan

That's lovely! So glad for you 😊

New_beginning
New_beginning in reply to sospan

Thats so thoughtful. I dont think my husband will ever gain empathy, compassion, sympathy. I understand its the TBI, but i find it the hardest to adapt with for my emotional wellbeing, his behaviour towards me is heart breaking, but professionals say its early days, so Im still clinging on to hope

sospan
sospan in reply to New_beginning

In the early stages of my injury, feeling and displaying the right level of "careing" on special occaisons. It came back after time.

Thinkig back it is hard to describe my recovery process. It was a lot of very small gains where I would do little "jobs" cooking, cleaning, etc and built myself back that way. It does indeed take a very long time to see changes.

Similar to yourself, my wife struggled with the "new me" and it was like a stranger was living with her.

We did get through it then and going through it again with my wife's concussion.

You will get there too

Lynd
Lynd in reply to New_beginning

You will find a lot of changes as time goes on so keep the faith. It is all very slow though.

New_beginning
New_beginning in reply to Lynd

Sadly ive had to seek emergency accomodation today, but then bottled it as dont want to be with random families. The abuse Im getting and made to feel worthless just too much now, finding myself having regular panic attacks. Im literally on my own and no support, i dont know what to do, where to go. I have literally no one. I just dont see no light at the moment,

Lynd
Lynd in reply to New_beginning

Oh I'm so sorry it has come to this.

I do understand, when my husband came out of rehab I did every thing for him and he just kept calling me a liar about things that were facts in our lives. It did get better.

The problem here is your husband has had no rehab and you are dealing with things that you would normally deal with from the shield of him being on a ward. If he is threatening you you must seek help.

If it is verbal it is very tough and you have to try and remember he can't help it. That is hard I know.

Do not give up your home.

New_beginning
New_beginning in reply to Lynd

He was only physical with PTA, but now just verbal . I feel defeated this week, but clinging on to his recovery progress. I feel absolutely shattered, i cant stop crying, feel like im a pro at silent cries.

So sorry you are feeling so low, It sounds awful. What made you try for emergency accommodation, and how are you now?

Just as a start, do you think you could make a new post so that you could get some more support and information from here?

Jen X

sospan
sospan in reply to New_beginning

May I suggest MIND, in some areas they have accommodation links and other resources

New_beginning
New_beginning in reply to sospan

So today making tee, my husband hugs me. Root Trigger along with Fireworks. My mother who is early 50s drives, works, see's her friends every week, lives less than one mile from our house, Messaged my husband Thursday 2:30pm stating she hasnt visited due to covid. She has not visited once since he sustained TBI, not spoke to him. I visited 3 times in July and she refused to open door, because of feeling depressed, but been to marks and spencers sale prior.

So reflecting eating tee, doing bath routine, his negative emotions does come on to me, fact. He can not process, and my awful, disgraceful, inhumane so called family and his family dont see what there own behaviour has on us and impact has on caring for him.

When i say, i have no one, I have no one to phone for help.

I feel bad and guilty now taking drastic measures yesterday, that I didnt know about this sooner, my mother has not contacted me, he showed me message. Ive told him to block her number.

Im going to finish my fag break and watch tv with him now for an hour.

I suppose being holed up hotel until tomorrow at least spares me the noise aspect of the nonsense, something I should be and am grateful for. Luckily, a few miles up the road Trudie da dog will have just woofed at the first couple of bangs then thought "Oh it's that stupid thing again" and gone for a nap of boredom. The noise issues where i am staying are misfiring and revving supercars... But that's Kensington for you, I guess!

I'm in the US n I'd take fireworks or etc right now, to stop all the madness here.

That says alot dealing with my head trauma now.

It looks strange enough from over here, must be worse living in it.. sounds unbelievable for what, the world's largest democracy, to be suddenly talking about fraudulent election practices.

I've got extended family in Philadelphia, can't imagine how the waiting must be.

Oddly symmetrical, we're celebrating the downfall of people who failed to blow up Parliament........

🌸

All the constant "PREDICTIONS" make it worse.

Just want an answer n lets move on.

I say Kermit the frog for president,lol

Yes totally, sounds like it won't be done till the weekend though?

Our media is updating continually on your election too....

( Makes a change from Covid and Brexit I suppose! 😱)

Oh well, back to the TV and chocolate I suppose! 🤣🌸

Sorry u guys have to be tortured as well😅

I think some choc choc chip ice cream has my name on it tonite.lol

Good thinking 😊🌸

sospan
sospan in reply to hippolove1

Well it is a desert or something "milky" before bedtime :-)

hippolove1
hippolove1 in reply to sospan

👍😁

Yep, the US Election coverage over here is annoying - must be even worse for you plus the radicals calling for civil war ....

hippolove1
hippolove1 in reply to sospan

It's absolutely nuts here n thank goodness the torture is soon to end.

sospan
sospan in reply to hippolove1

Isn't it going to go on for another two weeks while they count the votes and all the law suits get processed ?

hippolove1
hippolove1 in reply to sospan

Final answer to come sooner n other stuff will follow. Excuse me while i SCREAM,lol

sospan
sospan in reply to hippolove1

I would be worried about the calls for a second civil war :-o

hippolove1
hippolove1 in reply to sospan

True

Morning sospan, hope you managed to get some sleep, the fireworks weren’t as bad as usual, round here, but still felt they should be banned. I could cope, but for the people and animals that can’t , it’s very unfair. My daughter served twenty two years in the army and was medically discharged with ptsd, she has spent the last few weeks with headphones on, she has slept on a mattress on the floor, as this brings flashbacks of her tours of Iraq and Afghanistan, it’s heartbreaking to see a young woman, a military nurse, turned into a trembling wreck. You take care love Alice xx

sospan
sospan in reply to Alibongo60

Thanks, hope your daughter comes through ok.

Glad your daughter wasn't here last night, it was was worse than being on a range. As well as the bangs and flashes, the smell and smoke from the ordinance was in the air most of the night.

sospan
sospan in reply to Alibongo60

Just one of many, many reasons why fireworks should be for licensed displays by licensed professionals

bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-h...

Fireworks! I think the artillery are on manoeuvres around my area, even the supermarket delivery man had a mini melt down when one particularly loud bomb exploded. I was a runner in the print during the bombings in London, had a couple of near misses. Brain injury aside, we are coming up to remembrance, many ex service personnel will find this time horrendous.

sospan
sospan in reply to Pairofboots

I was also in London at that time. Used to be so wary of any vehicle parked unattended outside a shop or offices.

We were in a pub one evening and someone had left a briefcase by the bar, we were evacuating the place when a guy whom had already consumed to much (and wanted more) ran up grabbed the suitcase, shook it violently and shouted "if it was a bomb it would have gone off by now!"

Pairofboots
Pairofboots in reply to sospan

There is always some idiot that you least need, for him and everyone else, it's lucky it didn't go bang !

At least you have a tale to tell.

Every year I sign petitions asking for changes in the sale of fireworks.

My little westie just doesn't stop barking. She is so stressed.

Gone are the days of only hearing them on Nov 5th.

sospan
sospan in reply to Lynd

My dog is fine but wants to chase after them.

When I was a kid the fireworks were much smaller and more confined to the garden. So didn't cause too much disturbance and for a short time.

i signed this years petition petition.parliament.uk/peti...

And it is staggering that since last night 30,000 people have added to the tally, every time I refresh the page it is going up

Yes, many people have had enough of them x

Quiet here last night but then it all kicked off tonight ........strange ! I used to keep the cat-flap locked when I had cats and would sit with all three of them behind closed curtains and under a large duvet. They're all gone now.

I put earphones on and watch tv 'til it calms down. But I feel sad thinking of all the wildlife shivering in fear and wondering what sort of monstrous predator is coming for them. All quiet now .........but more over the weekend no doubt ! x

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