3 months in...

[Nix111]

Hi All, my husband has a severe hypoxic brain injury following a heart attack three months ago, he was in an induced coma for a week and then took many weeks to wake. He is now awake and talking but has no idea or understanding of where he is, has no short term memory is hugely confused and only recognises me, not anyone else..he is in rehab and I know the doctors say only time will tell but I can hardly see any improvements, does anyone have any experience of this kind of recovery, is he ever likely to make any significant recovery? He is classed as a category 4 and has a nurse or a health care assistant with him 24/7.

I have a 9 year old boy, we are both devastated and I'm trying to manage both our expectations

This board is invaluable but seems full of people able to read and write and understand, my husband is so so far from that right now...

All advice gratefully received

Nicky

[Hidden]

Oh how very worrying for you. Please give Headway a ring and talk to them, they will be able to give you the best possible advice. I think you will get lots of replies here from people who have been through the same thing as you. In my case, although my husband was out of hospital very quickly it was many, many months before he was properly aware of who he was, how old he was, who the people around him were and before he could properly function. Don't give up hope, keep talking to him, play him music, show him photos etc but don't overload his brain at the moment. It takes a long time for such a complex thing as a brain to recover from these devastating injuries - all the time he seems unresponsive, healing is going on inside his head. Only time will tell how good his recovery will be but please take heart from all the stories you will read on here of the wonderful recoveries people have made against all odds.

Keep posting on here and ask anything you need to know. No-one here is medically trained but most people have been on the same journey as you and can give you their own stories of what helped.

Lots and lots of best wishes to you all.

[razyheath43 in reply to Hidden]

He is awake he is talking,he knows who you are,all this is good,do give it time and take care of you and your nine year old spend time with him and explain that you just need to wait for daddy. and yes ring Headway they really can help x

[Kirk5w7]

Hi Nix, it took me many months to be aware enough to consider trying to read, write, etc. I couldn't read at first, I had dyslexia, I couldn't write, although I remembered how to form letters I couldn't use the correct pressure to form anything meaningful.

I am now 5 years on and have been through many dark times. I couldn't remember how to use a remote control or even how to use a telephone.

Remember your husbands brain is experiencing breaks in the original pathways in his brain, these will not always instantly join up so new pathways have to be made and that can only be done by practice, practice, practice.

This is why everyone recovery is different.

In my situation I likened my injury as having my brain switched off like you would a computer. Luckily it switched back on and rebooted but some of the files were corrupt. So I eventually realised that some of my skills would have to be relearned as a child would learn. So I started with children's jigsaw puzzles, progressing as I got better. My daughter in law was a primary teacher so she supplied the writing materials to learn to write again.

Walking had to be relearned too. As well as learning to dress myself, it's not easy fastening a bra or even putting your socks on and I can still get tied up in a coat or cardigan.

I didn't find this website for quite a few months, my family had been gaining support from the encephalitis society.

But I check in daily to see if I can support anyone.

Do come back and hang on in there recovery is a long slow process, think how long a child learns the basics. That's not to say that will be everyone's experience but we are all different no two brain injuries are the same.

Love

Janet xx

[jodr]

Dear Nicky,

I'm so sorry to hear what you're going through the trauma of having your husband in hospital is exhausting and having your son to care for as well makes it all doubly hard.

Get all the help you can from family and friends cooked meals the school run anything that will alleviate some stress for you.

I found the book by Trevor Powell a practical guide to brain injury very helpful in the early days to help me learn as much as I could. Also there are some books for children that might help your son talk about daddy and know he's not the only one. I bought for my boys my dad makes the best boats (all story about a daddy with a bi). Elvin the elephant who forgets and The huge bag of worries. Armed with these and a lot of love and gentleness from you will help your son come to terms with a new daddy. 3 months is still very early days hang on in there you're doing great we are here whenever you need us sending you a Massive virtual hug

Jo xx

[Nix111]

Thank you all for your replies, very helpful. I've had a tough night and morning, questioning if I can actually do this, I've been away for a weeks holiday with my boy and I'm literally terrified of going back in to visit, its so hard to see him like this.. thankfully I've booked a counselling appointment for me at 12 noon, hopefully that will help me get some strength back.

Talk soon

Nicky

[Hhodg]

It’s so hard Nicky . 3 months is early days and brain injuries recover painfully slowly. Be patient, try to look after yourself and take each day as it comes. After 7 months my husband is still minimally conscious but he has been improving all the time in tiny steps. Last week he passed a ball to me when I asked and he is becoming more vocal. The specialist told me it takes 5 years to recover. I have learnt not to think about the future and literally just concentrate on today . You will get through this, and although visiting can sometimes be really hard just being there for your husband will help him. Get your friends and relatives to help with visiting so you are not going everyday and remember to judge improvement over weeks and months rather than hours and days. Good luck Helen