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Mother trying to cope with oldest child brain injury m

Hello everyone, I just joined this group because I feel I need to reach out to others who may be going through a similar condition. On Thanksgiving Day last year (2016) at my home, my 36 yr old son suffered an unknown massive ruptured brain anyurism followed by a Stroke. I'd just finished putting the final touches to my feast I'd prepared for my 6 children and their companions when suddenly my 20 yr old son came running into the house with a breaking voice saying Mom, something is wrong with brother outside. I immediately raced out the kitchen an out the front door to find my oldest laying on the front lawn on his back. I got down on the grass An tried to get him to respond to my verbal commands to breath. I ordered that 911 be called right away., It took at least 15 minutes for paramedics to arrive. Dispatch said my address was not known. I've lived in the same house for 15 years. Finally the paramedics found us. A big huge devistated family stood waiting. My daughters boyfriend knelt down over my son administrated chest compressions until help arrived. Once help arrived we all were ordered to stand back so they could take over an do their job. My son was than placed on a gurney and whisked away to the hospital. I was left numb An confused as did the rest of the family. I was told I could not ride in the ambulance so I drove myself. Never in a Trillion Years did I expect to be told by the doctors that my son had a massive brain anyurism that'd ruptured followed by a stroke. My whole life changed at that very moment an I've never been the same. I spent the next 60 nights in ICU with my son. 1-week on a step down floor and on 1-27-17 we were moved to a Nursing home/Rehabilitation Facility. My son is in what I think a Vegetative State. Eyes open but still not tracking objects people or things. I go to him mostly everyday although I do skip a day sometimes to give myself a rest. I'm 55 and I feel tired physically and emotionally from time to time. At the hospital the doctors gave me no hope for recovery. They even gave me an option to end my sons life. I chose not. I will never give up on my son or his life. I am his decision maker not the author of life and death. God is... I keep my faith strong and ask God daily to follow and keep us. My son has a peg as his nutritional source but that's all. The onset we had everyI.V tube and ventilator that there was hooked up. I'm so thankful that my son is a traumatic brain injury survivor not to forget about the stroke that immediately followed. I'm holding on to prayer An to hope that one day my son will come to me, his children, his siblings an extended family. I miss him dearly tho I see him daily. My heart is broken but I'm in forever greatly that God loved us all and spared my sons life. I don't know the recovery period, he's not even supposed to recover according to the Neurologist. I'll remain prayed up, and hopeful🙏🏾

11 Replies

Welcome to Headway 98taurus, although I'm sorry it is such a heart-breaking event which brings you here.

I believe Thanksgiving is held at the beginning of November, so your son will have been in PSV for almost 5 months. I certainly wouldn't give up hope if he were my son, but I beg you to take as much care as possible of your own wellbeing, by taking all the nourishment, sleep and 'off duty' periods possible.

I don't have words adequate to express my deep sadness for your/your son's predicament. But I hope with all my heart that, with time, there will be better times ahead for you both.

Sincere best wishes, Cat x


Thanks dear. I'm just recently learning how to eat, sleep, rest. again. Haven't done much of any of these important things since November 24th (Thanksgiving). I'm getting better, I think. I don't know what to do but pray.


If praying gives you strength then pray. You are still hurting and in a state of disbelief so your own state of health will have been seriously compromised, and what you need most is comfort.

As a mother you'll be sensitised to the grief of your whole family but , please, allow them to reciprocate and accept all/any support offered, but take as long as you need to be with your son.

I wish you strength, and whatever else it may take, to get through this challenging time my dear. Once again, my heart goes out to you. With love, Cat xx


Much agreed .


98taurus. Welcome to the forum.

I guess that you are in the USA.

You will always be welcome here and can I recommend biausa.org who might be able to offer help a bit more locally to you.

Please take the best care possible of yourself.

Love n hugs



Yes I'm in the USA. Thank you for welcoming me. You are much Appreciated!


God bless. Hang in there and take care of yourself.


God Bless you too. And yes I'm hanging in there best that I possibly can.

1 like



I very sorry for what you, your son and family have had to experience with this event. It has got to be a very tough thing to go through. Time seems to have a way to help moderate the shock of the whole event. I wish you peace and comfort going forward.


I thank you Soo much. It's tough


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