Thinking Of You All...

[peaches2]

I've been struggling a bit lately so haven't been on but would like to wish you all a very....xx

[BaronC]

I'm glad you're back and over whatever was holding you back. Good to see you, as ever

[marky1956]

all the best peaches/ x

[cat3]

I've noticed you've been very quiet Peaches and I'm sorry to hear you've been struggling ; anything you'd care to talk about ?? xxx

[peaches2 in reply to cat3]

Hi Cat, thank you, it's been quite a mix of different things...you know when you have been treated very unfairly and you can't seem to shake it off and keep torturing yourself with questions as to how people can be the way they are. I've never been good at dealing with being hurt, I always need to find answers as to why! I understand that no two people are the same and we all act differently but when it comes to sheer badness I can never get my head around that and take it so personally. I absolutely loathe being treated badly and it cripples me beyond words when I am. It happened just when I returned home from having my radiotherapy, so it really floored me as I had been away from home on my own dealing with my illness and had been doing so well too! Anyway I'm counting my blessings that I have a lovely husband who totally understands where I'm coming from and knows all concerned. So that and the fear of the check up in February have taken their toll on me but I'm up very early today as there are workmen banging around outside so I'm going to get myself ready, tidy round the house, put the slow cooker on and then pop to the shops and spend a gift voucher I got for Christmas! Thank you for your concern, I hope you are well, Happy New Year to you! xx

[cat3 in reply to peaches2]

I really do understand that stinging hurt that others can inflict, and of being unable to shake it off. It's something which has blighted my life and, though you're told to 'just forget it' and move on it's SO difficult when it's hard-wired into your nature.

But I'm glad to hear you're getting on top of things today. It's glorious sunshine here in NW so I hope it's the same for you. Just getting out can be helpful distraction ; I hope you've bought something special with your gift voucher.

Always come here for confirmation of what a lovely person you are Peaches ; you've been so courageous throughout your illness, often coping alone, so don't believe anything negative coming from the mouths of ignoramuses !!

Take care m'love, Cat xxx

[peaches2 in reply to cat3]

Awe thank you Cat for your very kind words! I'm glad I'm not the only one that takes it so badly when they are hurt by others, although I don't mean that I'm happy you too have felt this torment as it's an awful way to feel. I really wish I could stop being such a softy but it's obviously just my nature!

I went out today and actually ended up ordering a lovely new wool rug for the living room, I've fancied it for a while now but kept grudging myself it, so today I thought what the heck and just bought it! Haha! Can't beat a bit of retail therapy, even if it is for the home!

You seem to have a very good understanding of what I have been through over the past few years, which is a lot more than can be said for some, so thank you once again for your kind words...just to know that somebody understands where you are coming from works wonders for the healing process!

I did laugh at the mouths of ignoramuses! Haha, that summed them up pretty well!

Hope you are fine!

Thanks again.

Take care lovely!

xx

x

[cat3 in reply to peaches2]

That's the spirit Peaches ; and what a great antidote. From now on, every time someone upsets me I shall go off and buy something really special .............. bring it on !

Enjoy your new rug m'dear !!

[Julesgettingthere]

Hello there Peaches, Jules here.

It hurts to sense what you are feeling, if i could help i would Peaches.

Much love

Jules

x

[peaches2 in reply to Julesgettingthere]

Oh thank you so much Jules, very kind!

I hope you are well!

Best wishes.

xx

x

[LEEJUNFAN]

Hi Peaches!

I'm usually from the FND hope site but I read this post as my wife has a Neurological condition called Functional Movement Disorder.

She has experienced many of the feelings you describe and it does hurt but like all the kind people on this site have said, you are a brave human being and never forget that.

I don't know your personal circumstances but remember that you are just as good as anybody else and like my wife, you sound a true fighter.

My wife Kim and myself wish you and everyone else on this site a truly happy and healthy 2017.

Keep taking one day at a time.

Best wishes always.

Tony & Kimxx

[peaches2 in reply to LEEJUNFAN]

Hi Tony & Kim,

Thank you so much for your message, it means a lot! Yes we are all brave warriors on here and everyone is so kind and caring, it's a pleasure to be part of this group.

I hope you and your wife are managing as best as you can and I wish you both well. Sounds like your wife is a very lucky lady just like me with my lovely husband, we would be lost without you guys keeping us sane! It's not always fun to be such an oversensitive person and I guess that won't change now at my age but I'll give it a try! Onwards and upwards!

All the best to you both and thanks again for your lovely words!

Take care of one another.

xx

x

[LEEJUNFAN]

Hi Peaches!

Thank you for your reply.

I think all us partners and Husbands would agree with me when I say that the worse thing I the world is seeing your loved ones in pain and not being able to do anything about it.

You both look a lovely couple and I'm so lucky to have my wife.

You're not oversensitive but just more highly aware than average folk which is a good thing and I bet you're a great listener too.

You've a good heart and you look a lovely kind person from your photo.

It emanates from your smile.

Please let us know how things go and we hope you keep in touch.

Blessings to you both.

Tony & Kim xx

[peaches2 in reply to LEEJUNFAN]

Yes very true, I would hate it if it was the other way round and my husband had the problems! I can't even start to imagine how I'd cope but I would for him!

I'm very tuned into feelings and yes I do happily sit and listen to others for hours, infact I seem to be the agony aunt in lots of my relationships with people but it's great to know that others can count on you and at the end of the day they leave your home feeling better and know they can pick up the phone to you anytime!

My husband has always said that I need to remember that not everyone will treat you with the same respect you give them and it's true, so onwards and upwards!

Thanks again Tony & Kim

xx

x

[Hidden]

Hi Peaches. When people are really awful, picture them stark naked and sitting on the toilet! That is a great leveller. It brings them down to the pathetic creatures they are!!! All the best for your next treatment. Hope everything goes well for you.

[peaches2 in reply to Hidden]

Hahaha, I will try that...if I can do it without laughing! Thank you wife! xx

[angelite]

Hi Peaches, always nice to hear from you : )

As a well balanced, caring, sharing person you can tend to assume that others feel and think the same as you do. Not so ! It can come as a shock to realise how many very different personality types there are out there. Some people are aware of their out of order behaviour and get 'empowered'/enhance their self esteem by dominating or upsetting others. Some are so blinkered that they are unable to see anything from another's point of view, thus their own view and needs are the only valid ones in their small, self entitled world. I have 2 neighbours, one I normally work for, the other I normally shop for, that have all the empathy and understanding of a baked bean. Their reaction to my latest relapse was disbelief, anger and complaining. How very inconvenient of me to be unable to work and shop for them, as I could barely walk on 2 sticks ! Their attitude is Their problem, not mine. They will have to put themselves out and find alternatives, via carers for their needs. It won't be cheap or free, like I am expected to provide !

Remind yourself of 'Who owns the problem'. Their attitude is Their problem, not yours. Don't allow it to affect your feelings or self worth and end up carrying around Their problem with you. You can try to educate these types, with varying degrees of success. Some people will just never 'get it' and are blind to what is in front of them, as their head is too busy with themselves, others refuse to acknowledge what they see because by admitting you have a problem, they would have to do the 'decent' thing and compromise. I avoid baked beans where possible, keep necessary contact to a polite minimum and stand firm on my boundaries ! You know in yourself how you are, it is not for others to cast doubt on your authenticity or dictate your capabilities. I am under no illusions - at the end of the day I am a robot, a pair of hands, a convenience to these people. That is understood by me, so long as They understand that when this robot malfunctions, they will have to look for a better model to provide their services !

On a happier note, I'd like to wish you all the best for the New Year, a Lara Croft attitude and not a baked bean in sight ( unless it's on toast ! ) : ))

Lots of love, Angela x

[peaches2 in reply to angelite]

Oh Angela, what a really good way to describe these people! That makes total sense to me and reading it has made me realise! I couldn't have put it better myself! I am now going to think exactly that!...it's their problem to carry round and hopefullyyyy learn, not mine and it's not up to me to waste valuable brain space constantly trying to work out how they could possibly act in such a manner, I'll leave it as their problem, if they can't find it in them to be nicer human beings then there's not much I can do about it, especially if they are even unaware of how insensitive they are being... I love the baked bean description, that is so good! I hope you are managing and those baked beans of neighbours are keeping their selfish behaviour in the tin! Haha! Thanks again. Take care. xx