Last night I took a tablet to help me relax, anti-anxiety tab. But it didn't work at all: felt really edgy, not relaxed at all and heart still bit on overdrive. After an hour of my fretting getting worse and brain burn I was feeling really terrible, tired but so wide awake. So i stumbled out in the semi-darkness (lights here too bright or not enough = usually choose too dim coz the very bright ones hurt my eyes) and took another one and went to bed.
Lay in bed waiting to feel relaxed but the opposite was happening: tossing turning, feeling wide awake, huge mega frets about everything, brain going all weird and scrambled, heart going loads. Slept briefly then woke, weird bad burning in groin area (have never ever had anything like this - except out of area hospital when they injected me with something, the burning was there then flushed all round my body) and weird dry mouth. Had a wee and drank water. Lay down,feeling very odd.
Woke about an hour later and groin burning worse = another wee and huge gulps of water. Feeling shaky and VERY sick (thought I might throw up,must get a bucket,but didn't), very very weird and heart and anxiety TERRIBLE.
Woke up about every hour, mouth even drier until 6am wide awake, very very scared.
Eventually got up 7am terrified: not me, felt like death, as I got up knees went very weak and shaky, I felt VERY dizzy and tops arms cold and shaky, heart going hard, right eye twitching a tiny bit, my guts hurt BAD. Went to put kettle on and saw the tabs near it - oh: I'd taken 2 x 20mg Paroxetine instead of Alprazolam for anxiety. I'm SO stupid, hadn't put spex on and the silver foil and print on the back of tabs (out of cardboard packet) looked just like the Alprazolam. Teach me: remember to put spex on and THINK. But was too tired to.
I drank 3 big mugs of tea try to flush it out of me. I'd been prescribed half a Paroxetine in the morning with breakfast and had taken. Had tried to read the info but too much, too tiring and so desperate would try these drugs as a last resort: no support,no counselling, in bad bad place in my head/home/everything. I felt so bad, like poisoned.
But was still VERY shaky and had to go to the loo 6 times (I think) with stomach cramps and bad runs - sorry folks. Rang the 24-hour doc about 8am (?) feeing so weird, shaky (especially knees and arms), vision odd and she said to do what I'd done already: drink lots and should clear it in 24 hours.
After cereal and more to drink I felt so weak couldn't stand so made (shakily, dangerous with kettle) a new hot water bottle (no heating here and 10C everywhere) took an anti-anxiety tab (Alprazolam,what I meant to take last night) and went back to bed, so cold kept my top on, inside my head felt mush and odd. Slept 2 hours. Woke but felt really ill, needed more to drink and wee - and before it that strange burning in groin.
I took first of the Paroxetine at 10.30pm and 2nd at 11.30pm last night and still feel really really dreadful. Have drunk loads more and eaten a bit but still really shaky, sick, weird and very brain scrambled now 14 hours later.
What am I trying to say? Am overloaded with stress, jobs, papers, scared of so much, complete breakdown before xmas and was hospitalised then out and nothing, no help or follow-up, dumped. So did my best to try just get on best I could. But overload, crying, despair, terrible heart pounding. Talked too much yesterday,makes me SO sad: love talking to people but got suddenly freezing cold, had to go home and cried from exhaustion as got in.
Took the various tabs (for anxiety & depression/PTSD) hoping they'd help, desperate, but made really stupid mistake and so last night utter hell and today a complete wash-out, feel very very ill. But ABIers make silly mistakes like that and the tabs/foils look so similar. No way I'll take any more of the Paroxetine, even in smaller doses must be very toxic and now tried to read the blurb (still too tired) but (think) no mention of that weird groin burning nor of having to wee so much.
Enough. Sorry but needed to tell someone,I'm alone at home,no help,nothing and feel very very ill. Think ABIers (nobody?) should be put on these, they poisoned me bad and I'm still paying for it, another wasted day lying around ill. I still feel sick, mouth still bit dry, brain/head feels very odd and heart is going, STRESS bad. Really really need proper diagnosis and help. Tired of being dumped. Nobody hears me,believes me or does anything. I don't matter.