Final massive argument, mums calling the social tomorrow and I should be happier away from them, the stupid hyperctitical w****rs that I call my parents that aren't, rather be with my birth mum and dad right now.
Hoping they will come out tomorrow morning or lunch time to I can leave without saying goodbye to the bas***ds!
Mind ma language btw, this is mid rant
They reached their wicks end and so have I, told them how I feel and look what happens, they can't control my emotions, I can't and they better watch out in the next week or so, in a bad mood and last time this happened I knocked a las out, so they better stay the f**k away from me, smashed my room and trashed it again. See how they like that ffs.
Might have exploded a little and I'm still blowing so before you reply to this, bear in mind that I'm in no mood to be told this is not the thing to go on here.
Two choices
Decent comment that will help calm me down and bring the red I see back down to orange or blue
Post a comment that has a go at me and pushed me over the edge, this goes for anyone
Written by
Zoe2345
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I really get that you feel the need to rant but I really do not see the need to add what is basically a threat to the end of your angry outbursts. I think everyone here has been very supportive of you so far and I haven't seen anything posted that would suggest otherwise.... at the end of the day if you do not like what someone posts in a reply to anything you post here , that person will not be responsible for anything you do, at the end of the day the responsibility for your choices and actions lies with you.
I find it interesting that from your post it is clear that you are fully aware that foul language is inappropriate in a public forum and its pretty clear you are aware of your own destructive behaviour - your accounts are quite graphic - which makes me wonder if you are aiming for shock value and seeing how far you can push things in this group before someone will challenge it.
My observations are not intended to minimise how awful you must be feeling...rage is exhausting. It seems your situation is rather complicated and I don't think you had mentioned previously that your parents are not your birth parents - guess that they are adoptive or foster parents? It seems you are very angry and directing most of that anger at them right now and with social workers becoming involved would suggest your birth parents are not an option?
I REALLY hope that you will find the help you so clearly need... and quickly. That much anger is so destructive and the person it hurts the most is you.
We'll done Iforget, I couldn't find the words, I'm glad someone replied Zoe needs lots of help and it goes deeper than BI, hopefully that will come and she gets the peace she needs.xxxx
I hope that one day you can resolve your difficulties. Whatever the reason for your birth parents to have to make a truly awful difficult choice of giving you up, your adoptive parents made the choice to love you and protect you and nurture you as best as they could.
It is said that we all push hardest against the ones we love the most, we know we can push hardest against them before they decide enough is enough.
I'm not sure how you imagine your life will be with the social services, but let me say this, it will never be as secure and safe and caring as where you are now.
You trashed your room because you were angry, who does it affect the most? Your parents or you? They would be angry because you trashed perfectly good stuff, it wasted money etc but it is your room. It is your sanctuary. It ultimately affects you.
You are the one who will now be without the things you are used to having.
As a parent I would not replace anything. It was your choice to trash it. You must Learn the consequences of your actions.
As the sister and daughter of an adoptie, I think you might like to have someone from barnardos come chat with you. They may be able to help you work through any issues you have.
My dad found his birth mother when he was in his forties. They didn have a relationship to speak of.
I met my sister for the first time when I was in my 20's , we had done similar things and been in the same places at certain events as children, be we were not aware that we had a sister.
We sang in the same choir for a while, my mum came to see us perform but even she was unaware, yet we look like peas of the same pod.
I saw my birth father from a distance as a teen, desperate to know where the other part of m came from. He had another family with three children I could see, they looked happy. I struggled with the thought I might spoil that for them maybe i was too scared or worried about rejection, who knows. I never spoke to him.
My dad, who has been there through thick and thin got brain cancer and died a few years back. It hit me hard. I realised then that this man was my dad because he chose to be, he wanted to be. The other man was a stranger, relative by name only, and that was his choice.
My sister- strangely called Sarah now same as me, is a friend. We live separate lives and keep in touch thru the web.
I really hope you can be brave enough and honest enough to work thru all of your issues, brain injury too.
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Yet more un helpful, non specific doctors comment 
How do I know what I what when I clearly don't know....
How to help others understand?
New. Lost. 
New to the site .... trying to finding people to talk to with ocular hypertension, traumatic glaucoma & post concussion syndrome 
