Daughters Braintumer

[Barleywine]

Hi there can any one help my daughter had a Braintumer removed 14 months ago her personality has changed and she has turned against all the family and me, over a silly argument I miss and love her so much don't no what to do.

[SAMBS]

Hi Barleywine, so sorry to hear about your daughter. I had an aneursym and brain haemorrhae myelf march 2013 ( BI ). I know that changed my personality over the months.

I too am estranged from one of my sons, not my choice, he is mid 40's, so as a mother I would say, please try and have patience and keep in contact with your daughter, no matter how much you may not understand her behaviour, she is coping with the significance of having had a tumour, even the sound of a brain operation is scary and now she has to also cope with the effects its having on her personality. She will possibly be as confused and anxious about it all, as you are. I understand anger against the reality of t as well,

I only found out on Wednesday which side and where my brain injury occurred, I am only at the start of discovering which areas are affected and what it was/is affecting my capabilities.

From previous replies read over the months here at Headwway, It is not easy, for the person or their friends, family always understand and its possible your daughter does not either at the moment. What is the prognosis for your daughter since her operation, do you know? I wish you both well, and I'm sure that over the next day or so you qill be receiving replies from other members on the forum, we are not always as sppedy at doing things as we used to be!

I hope you manage to to get back to a good relationship with your daughter and wish you both well for your relationship, as well as her recovery. Shirley x

[Barleywine in reply to SAMBS]

Thank you so much for ur letter Shirley it help me a lot I'm so scared she will not talk to me again iv just got this gut feeling i never should have got so mad with her I feel awful now I do hope you will be ok and pray not much damage is done xx

[SAMBS in reply to Barleywine]

she she needs to come to terms with the changes a well - she was 14 months ago I was 12 mths ago - but I had made my life choices just before my BI and with the help and support from members here on Headay I'm getting there and yes I'm OK and will be ok - I'm years older than your daughter, perhaps even you

I can understand though if she has the same feelings of abandonment by family and friends that I had, what she wants and needs more than ever is a huge cuddle and kiss from her mum and to be told you will help her through it, even if you don't yet understand. Go and see her soon.....

.......It won't be easy for either of you, danslatete explained perfectly what he went trough with his mum and I second what he says in that 'until it happens to you' you don't understand.

f you need/want keep coming back to us on here, you will find lots of encouragements and support, we have couples be it mums and daughters - perhaps and sons, or the person involved and their other half, soo one day soon you perhaps will tell your daughter about headway where she will find like-minded people who DO understand because we've been and are there.

Headway themselves have a fantastic support line, when the phone is answered you talk immediately to the right person you need to talk to, or you can start with an email. You are on their website now - you will find all their contact details on here.

Best wishes and a virtual hug for you both- Shirley xx

she she needs to come to terms with the changes a well - she was 14 months ago I was 12 mths ago - but I had made my life choices just before my BI and with the help and support from members here on Headay I'm getting there and yes I'm OK and will be ok - I'm years older than your daughter, perhaps even you

I can understand though if she has the same feelings of abandonment by family and friends that I had, what she wants and needs more than ever is a huge cuddle and kiss from her mum and to be told you will help her through it, even if you don't yet understand. Go and see her soon.....

.......It won't be easy for either of you, danslatete explained perfectly what he went trough with his mum and I second what he says in that 'until it happens to you' you don't understand.

f you need/want keep coming back to us on here, you will find lots of encouragements and support, we have couples be it mums and daughters - perhaps and sons, or the person involved and their other half, soo one day soon you perhaps will tell your daughter about headway where she will find like-minded people who DO understand because we've been and are there.

Headway themselves have a fantastic support line, when the phone is answered you talk immediately to the right person you need to talk to, or you can start with an email. You are on their website now - you will find all their contact details on here.

Best wishes and a virtual hug for you both- Shirley xx

[Danslatete]

Tell her how you feel, make your apology, leave the way open for her to come back to you.

Clean slate,no strings and lots of understanding

I wish you all the very best.

I changed, my relationship with my mum changed but I love her even if I get frustrated a her crass remarks, even when she treats me like a child, even when we fall out and stop speaking , I still love her.

When I was a teen my mum hurt her back. I thought she was acting for sympathy at least some of it, how could it make it impossible to just get up an make a brew? I guess I just resented being burdened with all the responsibility of looking after my younger brother and running the home and doing my exams. A few years on and I got myself a spinal injury. Oh my did I get a wake up call. When my mum came to see me I mad so many grovelling apologies it was embarrassing for her! She wasn't even aware of how I had felt back then because she was in so much pain etc.

I think it's maybe impossible to know the devastating effect brain injury has unless you've been there.

It took me many years to realise that it had affected my family too, I just couldn't see how when they were able to be normal.

I hope you are able to mend your relationship.

[Barleywine in reply to Danslatete]

Hi danslatete thanks for your letter but I'm getting the message she doesn't want anything to do with me she keeps sending quotes on face book saying hurtful things I am scared of getting in touch I really think now this last argument she has turned on me and no apologies will do xx

[SAMBS]

Hi there can any one help my daughter had a Braintumer removed 14 months ago her personality has changed and she has turned against all the family and me, over a silly argument I miss and love her so much don't no what to do.

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SAMBS

11 hours ago SAMBS

Hi Barleywine, so sorry to hear about your daughter. I had an aneursym and brain haemorrhae myelf march 2013 ( BI ). I know that changed my personality over the months.

I too am estranged from one of my sons, not my choice, he is mid 40's, so as a mother I would say, please try and have patience and keep in contact with your daughter, no matter how much you may not understand her behaviour, she is coping with the significance of having had a tumour, even the sound of a brain operation is scary and now she has to also cope with the effects its having on her personality. She will possibly be as confused and anxious about it all, as you are. I understand anger against the reality of t as well,

I only found out on Wednesday which side and where my brain injury occurred, I am only at the start of discovering which areas are affected and what it was/is affecting my capabilities.

From previous replies read over the months here at Headwway, It is not easy, for the person or their friends, family always understand and its possible your daughter does not either at the moment. What is the prognosis for your daughter since her operation, do you know? I wish you both well, and I'm sure that over the next day or so you qill be receiving replies from other members on the forum, we are not always as sppedy at doing things as we used to be!

I hope you manage to to get back to a good relationship with your daughter and wish you both well for your relationship, as well as her recovery. Shirley x

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Barleywine

2 hours ago Barleywine

Thank you so much for ur letter Shirley it help me a lot I'm so scared she will not talk to me again iv just got this gut feeling i never should have got so mad with her I feel awful now I do hope you will be ok and pray not much damage is done xx

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SAMBS

10 minutes ago SAMBS

she she needs to come to terms with the changes a well - she was 14 months ago I was 12 mths ago - but I had made my life choices just before my BI and with the help and support from members here on Headay I'm getting there and yes I'm OK and will be ok - I'm years older than your daughter, perhaps even you

I can understand though if she has the same feelings of abandonment by family and friends that I had, what she wants and needs more than ever is a huge cuddle and kiss from her mum and to be told you will help her through it, even if you don't yet understand. Go and see her soon.....

.......It won't be easy for either of you, danslatete explained perfectly what he went trough with his mum and I second what he says in that 'until it happens to you' you don't understand.

f you need/want keep coming back to us on here, you will find lots of encouragements and support, we have couples be it mums and daughters - perhaps and sons, or the person involved and their other half, soo one day soon you perhaps will tell your daughter about headway where she will find like-minded people who DO understand because we've been and are there.

Headway themselves have a fantastic support line, when the phone is answered you talk immediately to the right person you need to talk to, or you can start with an email. You are on their website now - you will find all their contact details on here.

Best wishes and a virtual hug for you both- Shirley xx

she she needs to come to terms with the changes a well - she was 14 months ago I was 12 mths ago - but I had made my life choices just before my BI and with the help and support from members here on Headay I'm getting there and yes I'm OK and will be ok - I'm years older than your daughter, perhaps even you

I can understand though if she has the same feelings of abandonment by family and friends that I had, what she wants and needs more than ever is a huge cuddle and kiss from her mum and to be told you will help her through it, even if you don't yet understand. Go and see her soon.....

.......It won't be easy for either of you, danslatete explained perfectly what he went trough with his mum and I second what he says in that 'until it happens to you' you don't understand.

f you need/want keep coming back to us on here, you will find lots of encouragements and support, we have couples be it mums and daughters - perhaps and sons, or the person involved and their other half, soo one day soon you perhaps will tell your daughter about headway where she will find like-minded people who DO understand because we've been and are there.

Headway themselves have a fantastic support line, when the phone is answered you talk immediately to the right person you need to talk to, or you can start with an email. You are on their website now - you will find all their contact details on here.

Best wishes and a virtual hug for you both- Shirley xx