Hi folks, I've not been around for a while (too much to relay here, but, all is good...well! very good really
First.....Look what I know.....these two paragraphs some me up nicely
1. Most head-injured moments happen at times when thoughtful/careful mode is needed but the damaged brain doesn’t see that. The most serious problem in BI is the breakdown of the system that watches to see when thoughtful/careful mode is needed and when the automatic pilot needs to be shut off. After BI, the brain misreads the situation, fails to see the need for thoughtful/careful mode, and instead stays on automatic pilot. That causes the person to say or do things impulsively, while feeling as if what he or she is saying and doing is perfectly correct. The behavior comes out wrong, but the survivor is left feeling confused about why everyone is getting upset
2. Most survivors cannot think as well when they are bombarded by too much stimulation as when things are calm and quiet. Many kinds of stimulation can mess up the brain. It can be too much noise or too much commotion, too much to look at, or it can just be chaos or uncertainty. The problem with emotions interfering with thinking also comes into play here. Anger, fear, worry, stress, pressure, excitement, enthusiasm, all emotions can overload the brain. When you start to get overloaded, the first thing that happens is less thinking and more impulsivity. Then thinking gets confused. And finally, if the stimulation continues, the mind blanks out entirely.
Moving on.....Any thoughts on below are welcome....
Me and hubby are meeting up with my sister this coming Saturday.....we once were as close as two peas in a pod. We went everywhere together, are god parents to each other's children, saw each other every week and spoke everyday and soooooo much more....
I haven't seen her since late 2008. Nothing major happened...well! you might say my brain haemorrhage was major....She was around for the first 10 months after my B.I, then took a step back (her words) and she never stepped forward again. I realise it was difficult seeing her sister so ill, but she walked away and left me and hubby to get on with it. My hubby once tried to talk to her and this is some of what he said..."Joanne needs help.. just because you can't see it doesn't mean it's not there. If she stood there bleeding, you'd help her. response from sister...of course I would...I rest my case
Anyway! Me and hubby have discussed at length and have strategies in place to deal with the meet up. We have agreed there's no point going over what's happened and need to find a way to move forward in whatever capacity we all can.
But...and it's a big BUT, I need some recognition from her that she got things wrong. I wonder what my virtual B.I. friends think... And.. I didn't do anything to upset her, other than have a life threatening brain injury. Take care
It's really difficult to comment without knowing the fine detail, which is where so many problems originate. I can't imagine anyone 'taking a step back' too easily when it's from such a close,loving relationship.
I did the same thing a few months ago. After two years of close involvement with sick and dying relatives, plus my own health problems, I felt pretty close to the edge so I walked away from a very sick friend. But I know I have to try to mend the situation and step forward again because it haunts me every day.
I suppose there are people who are just selfish and don't want their lives disrupted but there are so often hidden issues which seem impossible to air.
Personally, I would try to embrace the reunion without harking back to the past until things are a little more stable between you. It will take some diplomacy from both of you when the issue is eventually raised but you need to decide what's most important to you, the revival of your relationship or an apology/explanation for the last five years.
I really feel for you Leslie because this is such a big issue, and the outcome can't be helped by anyone but the two of you. So all I can say is I really hope things work out for you so that you can have your sister back in your life with no reservations. Best wishes.........and please let us know how things develop. Cat xx
PS That's one hunky fella if you don't mind me saying so.
I think You sum things up perfectly with the use of one single word... recognition.
An extremely good friend of mine walked away in the very early stages, when I was first in a coma prior to the results of my injury even being known. When I found out what had happened I wasn't so much angry, more hurt to be honest. We all like to think that in the same circumstances we would never dream of abandoning our friend/family member. The truth is very few of us can ever know.
A year later my friend re-emerged and explained himself fully. He simply couldn't handle the situation and his hanging on would have been mnore of a hinderance. His honesty and, yes, recognition, possibly didn't fully heal the wound but it certainly went as far as put a plaster on the wound and enable us to move on. I hope you find the sticking plaster soon.
nice to see you again ,but I have been out of it for some time lots of things getting too much I wish I was In control of my illness ,paragraph 2 well that is and was me when I got my brain damage I did not know what was happening to me my family thought I was just a nasty person, they new what had happened to me but because you could not see it was not there, if I had lost a arm or leg that would have been different, but I was fighting my illness and doing every thing wrong ,found that out when I finally got to know about headway 6 years after the event, from the booklets they gave me, I think that was a life saver I was in the books it could have been written about me headway said everybody says that, where am I now, still fighting but what gets me is people say you look fit and well you don't look your age, I think I shall have to get acting lessons I might get some where then, have got an atos medical coming soon that should be fun, the government have stopped my money but because my condition is getting worse they may reinstate it should I pass the medical, just for those who don't know I got my damage from a vaccination on the nhs , brain damage, serious damage to my nervous system, a stroke, and ms type symptoms, love you all going to get some breakfast now, john.
Hi Spartan300, I've just had my money back paid since it was stopped by the DWP, my appeal against being put inthe work focused group (I thought I should be in the support group) was upheld and they have recommended I not be assessed again, I am 60 though so don't know if that affected their decision but the reason they gave is that I would be a risk to myself and others in the workplace, very true if I'm honest. Don't know if this decision can only be made at tribunal but when filling the forms in its important to stress if you can't do something safely or repeatedly. Yes I can walk 50 metres, but not 4x 50 metres without a rest or my stick or even in a straight line! Thankfully the judge and doctor understood, we shouldn't have to deal with the stress of these situations though, good luck. Janet
P.S. love the film if it's a reference to that xxx
I am 62 now so I am in with a chance the DWP say they know I am unable to work so why did they put me in the work focused group? they also know about vaccination damage but I am as so many others too old to get compensation from the government I think you have to be under 21, what's the difference I don't know, the vaccination support group is trying to get compensation for all vaccination victims regardless of age. I will have to see what atos says ?
No-one ever picked up on the vaccination thing, I had the flu jab 4months before the encephalitis, probly no connection, but it's the 1st time I ever wad the jab and won't have it again coz I never felt well after it, eventually culminating in this!! Who knows, the hospital neurologist said she wished she'd known, but I don't think it would have changed anything, moving on is the thing xxx
CAT- I read all blogs when I can...and I've picked up in your writing you get on and off the same "brain injury roller coaster ride" of up and downs as me and many others. I might not always comment, but I always send my virtual thoughts and best wishes across the air waves to you, just hope they reach you!
Anyway! Thanks for your reply
pre B.I If I had won a million pounds, without hesitation I would have placed a bet with it...the odds being....If I have a serious life threatening injury NO WAY would my sister walk away...how wrong was I. I have cried and cried and tried to understand...truthfully I don't think I ever will. I am at a stage in post ongoing daily recovery where I have learnt (with professional help) to move on...I don't think I will ever be able to forgive and forget but I can be the bigger person and move on....in what capacity that will be....I'll let you know... And.... Good luck in patching things up with your friend
ANDY- thank you for your response....Yes! recognition is all I want...If she can explain or say sorry...I will thank her and move on the best way I/we can. I've wasted enough time, energy, recovery, and it nearly cost me my marriage....all because my sister stepped back. But, with all my strength I'll pick up the baton and move on ( would say run, but it's not a pretty site Take care and all the best Andy
John- Did you have a nice breakfast
Getting in control of your illness is very difficult and as you will know it takes time. I have good and bad days, but on the whole feel in control. If you need to ask a question about getting in control and think I can help, please ask.
As for the DWP...I was put in the work category group. I contacted DIAL (look up on internet) they helped me with my appeal. Luckily I didn't have to go to a tribunal or deal with ATOS, and was put in the support group. I'm there for now and hope to stay there, let's see hey!! Good luck and fingers crossed it goes your way
Hi, like you Leslie I try to read all posts but only reply to some, just so you know my thoughts and good wishes are with you, glad to see things are improving and hope it goes well with your sister, I would be lost without mine, she knows just where I'm coming from and was a rock to us all while I was in hospital. Love Janet xxxxx
Hi I'm new on the site, I'm finding it great to be able to chat to others going through similar experiences. I really hope thing go well for you & your sister. It was my son who was injured with a TBI, but my brother finds it hard to except that life has changed for his nephew & I'm sister well I couldn't do it without her. On the other hand my husbands brother when told my son had been blown up in an IED Landmine & has a bleed on the brain, unconscious for 3wks said let us know when he gets better, what can you say, nothing eh. Some of my sons mates were about early on but have disappeared now. Thinking of you wish you xxx lovely photo
Hi Annef68,
Welcome to this site....Yes! it is good to read and know others understand. Our virtual friends offer open, honest, practical advice and support. Help here makes a huge difference (because of understanding) to the brain injured so anytime you have a question one or more of us will gladly offer our help
Families hey! will post how things go with my sister.
Sometimes......
My troubles are put into perspective ( not always, if I'm honest ) when I think about those around me....My eldest sister is step mum to Ben Parkinson who was blown up by an IED in Afghanistan some 10 years ago. ( He made the news a few times, so you may know about him) He lost both his legs and has brain damage, but has made and continues to make improvements. He needs 24/7 care but his determination is commendable.
I wish all the best to you and your son. Take care Joanne
Hi again Jo. Firstly I want to thank you for your response to my worries about my sick friend and to say that the following day I phoned her and talked for 1&1/2 hours. I was so apprehensive.......but no need.......it's such a great relief. I'll be seeing her in a few days.
Also, I know that yesterday was your big day with your sister and I've been willing it to go well for you. I really, really hope it did, I can see how much it means to you.
I have only just picked up this thread having had a terrible week. My brother has just been diagnosed with a brain tumour. Having supported my daughter with her brain tumout for 20 years I understand what is in front for brother and SIL and wonder if/how she will cope - that's if there is anything they can do as we are waiting to hear from the hospital with that. I won't be walking away but hope they embrace my support
HI I FEEL THIS IS ALL TOO COMMON.BUT MOST OF ALL SO SAD? I HAVE HAD 25 YRS OF BEING FELT AN OUTCLASS BY BOTH MEMBERS OF MY MOTHERS FAMILY AND MY FATHERS.I REALISE THEY TOO HAVE THEIR MINOR MEDICAL PROBLEMS BUT IT REALLY GETS ON MY THRUPPENY BITS WHEN HEY NEVER PHONE ME TO ASK HOW I AM,PREFFERRING TO GET REGULAR MIXED UP AND TOTALLY WRONG UPDATES FROM EITHER MY PARENTS AND MY HUBBY WHO DOES NOT GET IT EITHER.ALSO WHENEVER THEIR MINOR UPSETS RAISE THEIR HEADS IT IS ME THEY ALL ASK FOR HELP AND ASSISTANCE?? WATS THAT ALL ABOUT??? THEN MY SIL SNUBS ME WHEN I OFFER TO HELP.RESULT IS I DONT BOTHER TO HELP EVEN THO SHE AND I KNOW DAM WELL I CAN.GRRR AARRRGH.I GUESS U CAN ONLY DO WAT I WAS ADVISED BY MY NURSES 25 YRS AGO.B THERE IF THEY DECIDE TO COME TO YOU AND AT SAME TIME DONT OFFER IT FIRST.MY LOVELY NURSE SAID OF FAMILY AND FRIENDS IF THATS THEIR ATTITUDE WAY UP WAT U WOULD LOOSE IF YOU NEVER SAW THEM AND WHAT BENEFITS TO YOU TOO??? IS HARD I KNOW BUT AFTER 25 YRS I SIMPLY MUST PUT MYSELF MY FAMILY OH AND MY MANY COMPLEX CONDITIONS FOLLOWING ABI .AS THAT TOO IS LIKE ANOTHER CHILD AND ALWAYS MUST COME NUMERO UNO.??? GOOD LUCK HOWEVER THINGS PAN OUT.TAKE CARE OF U.XX
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How's everyone's day been 
Been to see a Neuropsychologist today
Just been diagnosed with brain damage
I've been waiting 8 months...
