what do you do when all you want is a cuddle from someone who understands what you are going through at a time when you are 'in bits'

how do you get friends, family or anyone who has not had a TBI ,to even start to understand why you are so emotional

- especially when you live abroad (in France) as I do. Doctors say to avoid stress and rest - but I am now finding it more stressful as I'm back in UK for a holiday to get anyone to understand why I am confused, disoriented and emotional - all seem to be putting pressure on me to make decisions - even daily ones are hard - so what do I do now - I need to stop crying and being so emotional because nothing seems normal to me....so please help me.....

12 Replies

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  • Hey, I found it hard for anyone to relate to emotional mess, which I was the majority of the time. Which in itself was stressful, circle of doom. As you become more frustrated, angry, upset, the more people pull away as they feel helpless and don't know how to help. The only way I could reduce the stress was by meditating. I went to a mindful CBT course, it was so helpful! I supported this with actual CBT sessions. All this has allowed me to communicate more clearly how I feel, as it is clearer to me. I still have the same issues, but the impact isn't anywhere near as bad. It's scary for those that know and love you. Remember that. But as much as they want to, they can't help you, they don't know how. When I started my mindfulness and CBT I felt quite depressed, as I wanted help for so long, someone to come fix me, but I realised that only I could be the one to help. Quite daunting at first, but doable and very rewarding. Relationships much better now :) good luck

    bemindful.co.uk/

    amazon.co.uk/gp/aw/d/074991...

  • Forgot to add, big virtual hug xOx

  • thank you for your support in both

  • explaining to people is hard

    try getting them to read this, or better still show them using spoons

    butyoudontlooksick.com/wpre...

  • thank you for your support biker.....

  • Spoons didn't work for me,% did!

  • Keep smiling, feel proud that you've got this far through your own hard work and never feel afraid to ask for that hug. Those that truly care will be only too pleased to oblige.

    Failing that, scream at pigeons, works for me :)

  • Hello Baron C - thank you so much for your kind words - all of the responses received today have helped and supported me so much - when this time last night I felt so bereft and isolated - but to know I have a caring and supportive community out there via Headway and internet is wonderful and I know I will still need that support once I return to France next week - not quite sure about the screaming though!!!!! don't know if I'm brave enough to do that...... x

  • Always happy to help a fellow survivor. Hang in there, you'll get through this, it's merely a blip. If you're not brave ebough to scream at pigeons, just have a quiet word with them instead, They'll look shamefaced, but hey ho :)

    And please call me Andy, Baron is far too formal for a humble peasant like myself. It is merely my pseudonym

  • thanks Andy, I'm Shirley - and yes we have pigeons and collared doves where I live in France so I'll try the quiet word with them instead. I'm pleased to read you think its only a blip, I hope so because I really did feel so desolate last night but already the supportive replies are helping me feel better. I think I need to also try and find my photo for the site. I always think it helps to be able to put a name to a face and vice versa!

  • As you'll have gathered, Shirley, some of us here are a little bit crazy.......& it really does seem to help !

    I hope you soon resolve the problem of where to live ........it's hard enough starting over by yourself without the added complications of a head injury and nationality to cope with.

    Sorry life's so awful at present, but keep on licking those wounds and they WILL heal in time. In the meantime keep on 'talking' on here (& to the pigeons?)

    Best wishes cat & a big,big cyber cuddle. :-) x

  • thanks for the cyber cuddle cat3. I know my TBI is nowhere near as bad as other people's and yes its the situation I find myself in that makes it all so hard - I was ok about everything till I had the TBI but yes I guess I'll get there eventually. x

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