I go to craft group every week and when it is birthday time, you provide the cake. yesterday three birthdays, three cakes, good thing I take my own food, because I would have the been the odd one out when it came to tea time. The worst bit was I had four people telling me 'oh go on one piece of cake wont hurt you'. Then to cap it off I had the group know all tell me I am gluten intolerant because it would have been diagnosed and tested when I was a child...heaven help me, I am 71 this year. I wanted to get up and stab her hand with my dressmaking scissors. Can I bake a cake for next week with laxatives in it, just for these know all = know nothings? Yes, they will all be getting a gluten free toblerone cake and a pamphlet educate these stupid women. One of them has a grand child who is supposed to be Coeliac, but she refuses to feed this child any differently, she calls him a fussy eater and her Daughter in law is talking out of her backside. I gave up trying to explain to her why it is important that she listen to her DIL.
Grizzling....: I go to craft group... - Gluten Free Guerr...
Grizzling....
It should read NOT gluten intolerant, fingers not working as fast as brain.
Hi Figetsmum,
Encountering ignorance is an extremely frustrating experience, no matter how long you've been gluten-free.
It can also be isolating and embarrassing to be different from your peers. However, you know why you're living gluten free - and I'm sure it's probably not for the fun of it. To find four people at the same time who don't understand your lifestyle and needs, is extremely unlucky in my opinion.
CUK's Coeliac awareness week starts on the 11th May - which is a great and legitimate excuse to raise awareness of gluten related conditions.
Maybe you could try to chat first to the person you felt was possibly being the least ignorant of the four when you give them that leaflet. Then quietly and gently pick each person off one by one.
Also (if you feel brave enough), suggest to the lady who thinks that her D-I-Law is talking out of her arse; say that feeding her grandchild medically unsuitable foods, constitutes a form of physical abuse! And that she could be reported to Social Services on Child Safeguarding grounds - especially if it's done without the parents knowledge.
Unfortunately, you must remember that being aggressive in this situation won't work! Gentleness is like water - no matter how hard you try not to let it; it will find the cracks and get absorbed (hopefully along with your GF message!).
Finally, if you still feel they are refusing to listen; take a deep breath and maybe consider that it might be a good time to consider finding a new hobby or a new craft group...
Good luck!
The group is generally good, but we have few who seem to know everything, it is a little clique that we are slowly trying to educate. I suppose because I travel a lot and am out of the country more than in it lately, there is a bit of the green eyed monster with these so called ladies. I had not thought of the child abuse angle regarding the grand-child. Believe me, I know how to catch flies using honey rather than vinegar. Mrs Know all, Know Nothing really showed herself up yesterday. Oh, I am also known by this clique as That Australian Woman. This clique has made several people feel uncomfortable and it has not gone un--noticed. I am made of sterner stuff. next week I start my campaign to educate them. Thank you Regalbirdy for giving a few ideas.
Hi Fidgetsmum, it sounds to me like this little clique are bullies and if you don't fit in with their norm they show it. As for one slice won't hurt this is just ignorance. And my attitude to this is it is their words and actions and not yours so don't take it on board.
I had a friend say to me I know what a coeliac is "you're a religious group who don't eat wheat drink milk or alcohol"
What I do as I am a volunteer at Bristol prison, I take either a home made gf cake or biscuits this has raised awareness and it stops me feeling excluded when we have a tea break. And last week someone took in some doughnuts and I took in a home made carrot cake and the comment was that my cake was much nicer than the doughnuts! This has raised awareness of CD in a positive and passive way as they are interested in how gluten affects me and like my home made goodies.
So stick to your gluten free guns and don't let them get to you and raise awareness in a positive way so they want to listen, this is very important when dealing with petty minded people who want to reinforce their prejudices.
As for a laxative cake...don't forget a pinch of rat poison LOL.
Hi Fidgetsmum,
Your post really resonated for me . One of my pet hates is people who use other peoples' characteristics as a means to 'get off', without a care in the world for the person targeted. Yes gluten is the flavour of the day currently for this group, but from your post it's clear they will soon be looking for the underbelly of other members well as their relationships outside the group.
You sound like you don't need any advice on being strong etc. All I would say, on behalf of the Craft group as a whole, is choose your battleground carefully and the tactics needed for success (My success criterion would be to eject the group unless they change thier spots which is unlikely) By all means try to educate them with the 'honey' approach, but I fear their attitude will be to defend their points of view, thereby making more waves and more aggro for all the decent members.
Best of luck.
Your restraint is remarkable in such an upsetting situation. I find bullying like this very difficult to deal with and I'm afraid I tend to tell people the effect gluten has on me, in fairly graphic detail. Probably not the best way to educate and inform.
Hope you can find a way to remain comfortably within this group and good luck with the educating.
Good Lord, you have the patience of Job! I get hacked off at work because people will bring things in and hand them round saying "you can't have any of these" - out of 20+ people there are only two who have brought things in for me. It's probably better for me - I could afford to body-swerve the dessert trolley - but it's the lack of consideration.
Stick to your guns - and as SilverDreamMachine says, choose your battles carefully. The tricky part is not contradicting everything people say when they are wrong because they will then call you grumpy, but choose the ones that will have the most impact.
Failing that, pick the cake up and push it in their faces.
Is there a recipe for gluten-free toberlone cake? If so, please share.
uktv.co.uk/food/recipe/aid/... I substitute toblerone for the dark chocolate
What can I say except I'm sure we've all had the know-alls. Then there are the mad people who ask if you can eat carrots (and I'm not kidding). The people doing this are consumed by Ego so feel sorry for them. I wouldn't bother talking to them about it and don't give them an information leaflet or you're no better than them. But I would say to the arsehole who is glutening their grandkid -
"I'VE NEVER MET ANYONE WITH MUNCHAUSEN SYNDROME BY BEFORE. Can't you go to prison for that?"
Cake wise - PRUNE cake's a good (healthy, lol) one. There are loads of recipes if you do a Google search. Just replace the normal ingredients with GF ones. You can also use it as a replacement for chocolate.
Laxatives? Don't even think about it. If anyone had a bad reaction and needed hospitalisation you'd probably wish you hadn't. If you feel that desperate it might be time to find a new group
(Or just be as offensive and enjoy it!)
Thank you to everyone for helping to keep me from screaming this week.
te lazative cake was tongue in cheek, but here is a story I have to share. Back in the late -40's (last century) Laxettes a brand of Laxative in Australia did a letter box drop, the letter boxes in Australia are not in the front doors, they are on the front fence. I was about four years old and discovered two blocks of chocolate in the letter box when Mum sent me out to collect the mail. My Mum was fairly hit and miss with me, so when I asked if I could some chocolate she said yes. not knowing what the chocolate was I had in my hand, I ate it, Now My mother did not raise a stupid child, I had worked out, letter box = chocolate and for me to want to eat was coup for her (I had survived Pinks Disease) and slowly started gain weight, I asked if I could go outside and put my plan into action, I raided every letter box, delivering the letters to the household and gaining a decent sized stash of chocolate, duly shared with my two year old sister. I don't remember too much of the results of my greediness but the story was, my sister and I had a very busy day on the potty and toilet. it wasn't until Mum discovered the wrappers that what had caused the problem. The joke in the family has been all these years, 'be careful if P offers you chocolates, you could have a few moving hours.' I just tell everyone I have never met a chocolate I didn't like.
Now I wonder if I can substitute dates for prunes for the cake next week? I might use my husband who is also GF, as a good guinea pig. he loves any type of cake...cue evil laughter.
Wow this:
'One of them has a grand child who is supposed to be Coeliac, but she refuses to feed this child any differently, she calls him a fussy eater and her Daughter in law is talking out of her backside.'
Is TERRIBLE! What a horrible lady.
I would have wanted to wield the scissors too. I hate cliques and know-it-alls. Perhaps you can pinch the nice ladies and set up your own rival craft group with plenty of GF teatime treats.
I also agree that it is very unfair exclude those with intolerance and allergies as if it's some faddy choice. I always try to cater to everyone - even if that includes nut free, dairy free, egg free, gluten free... I just try to treat others as I wish to be treated and to be inclusive and I can't understand when people go out of their way to exclude or be inhospitable.
Help with supermarket shopping!
Could this be a reaction to gluten?
Can anyone Reccomend a good GF recipe book.?
"new" to CD
What next? Some advice for my little girl please
