Had enough of this fight!

[Charliecat123]

Had an eye clinic appointment today. Pressure is up to 26 in my right eye so need to have a needling procedure on previous trab. Feel so down and tired of fighting this glaucoma. Just want some peace and a normal life! 😢

[floki7]

Sorry to hear this, but can sympathise with you on this, my eye I had a trab on in April has lefy me with a fair amount of blurred vision, more than prior to the op, so I am seriously considering to discharge my self from the clinic and let nature take its course. Good luck to you though. Best wishes.

[frankthebank in reply to floki7]

I know how you feel there Floki, on a depressing day I've thought the same as you many times, the problem however is, the pressure will keep rising and 40+ IOP the pain and side effects become unbearable. So the never ending fight continues 😔 Best wishes.

[Hidden in reply to floki7]

I know what you mean Floki, I told my partner after my cataract ops and drops didn't lower my pressure I was done with it. He went absolutely mental and he is calmest person I know,he has never even raised his voice at me !!! When an op doesn't work properly it's so disheartening but I like to think there is always something that will help. As I said before don't make any rash decisions and wait and see what the consultant says . I'm giving out free hugs today Floki so a huge extra big one for you because you make ponds , bake and are just generally great x

[floki7 in reply to Hidden]

Lol thank you Witchie, its nice of you to say, and will wait to see what they say whenever i get my next appointment, which should have been October ! Well I have just made some vanilla biscuits, some with Almond icing on others with Lemon icing, and going to give soup making a try, maybe over the next few days. Thank you for the hug, just what i needed ! x

[Hidden in reply to floki7]

Omg could you get anymore perfect 😋 those biscuits sound delicious . I love making soup, so easy and tasty and great for this weather . A big hug always helps I think . X

[Spanieldoglover in reply to floki7]

Hi floki7, sorry to hear you’ve been having a difficult time too. I only hope you don’t make any rash decisions but please talk to your consultant first. However, I know I’m only at the start of this journey and can only imagine how hard it has been so I’m in no way experienced enough to understand how you are feeling. I just know how it’s impacted me since I found out. I wish you all the very best and hope that at your next appointment you get more help with the double vision x

[floki7 in reply to Spanieldoglover]

Thank you, we will see how it goes ( pardon the pun )

[Hidden]

Oh Charliecat I've just seen your post . I understand exactly how you feel, I wish I could give you a big hug just now. I know this is all such a struggle at the moment and the thought of another procedure isn't what you want. You have a lot going on apart from your eyes unfortunately. Did the consultant give any time frame for the needling ? I was told I might require needling if my pressure didn't come down and did come home and cry and felt just like you .

I wish there was something I could say or do to make this better for you. Just know you aren't alone and I am thinking about you. X

[Charliecat123 in reply to Hidden]

Thanks 😢😘😘

[Hidden in reply to Charliecat123]

❤️ x

[Hidden]

Oh Charliecat123 so sorry to hear this. You have been so lovely to me I really wish there was something I could do. I’m thinking of you and sending hugs 🤗. Xx

[Charliecat123 in reply to Hidden]

Thanks Julie. I feel defeated at the moment but I will keep going and try to bounce back…one day at a time. Xx

[Spanieldoglover]

So sorry to hear this Charliecat123. It sounds like you’ve been through a lot and it’s so hard when we get bad news from the eye clinic. Just know you are not on your own and we’re all here to support you in whatever way we can. Thinking of you x

[Charliecat123 in reply to Spanieldoglover]

Thanks so much. It’s hard when you have to deal with things like this and you don’t have a husband or partner to lean on….but I will be ok soon. Xx

[Spanieldoglover in reply to Charliecat123]

Hi Charliecat123, it must be hard not to have a partner to lean on, but I hope you can see from reading all these messages that you are not alone. As you say, one day at a time and I hope you have some good news soon xx

[Charliecat123 in reply to Spanieldoglover]

Thank you…bless you xx

[Lindfieldtommy]

I am so sorry to hear this and sympathise with how you must be feeling. Sadly I cannot come up with any magic words except to say as the days pass by I hope the shock and disappointment will become less and will be easier to accept. Thinking of you and take care. We are all with you. xx

[Charliecat123 in reply to Lindfieldtommy]

Thank you

[Hidden]

Morning Charliecat, I woke up and you were in my head so I thought I would let you know. Your kind messages made a difference to me when I was feeling rubbish after I had my trab cancelled . You take time to try and help other people even when you aren't doing so well yourself and that shows how lovely you are Charliecat . Take care x

[Charliecat123 in reply to Hidden]

Thank you Witchie346…..and bless you! You have helped me too by keeping in touch. I will get through this and everything else too. Sometimes we just need a bit of a helping hand and it’s surprising how contact with other people who understand really helps. You are a lovely lady …thank you xxx

[Hidden in reply to Charliecat123]

You will get there Charliecat, baby steps are all it takes ,not big leaps. Just a wee message does definitely help and you have had some lovely ones. Everyone on here is on the same journey and because of that we do all understand. I'm sure there's not one of us who haven't for at least one moment wished for " normal " eyes again. You definitely aren't alone x

[Charliecat123 in reply to Hidden]

Thanks Witchie346. Feel weary and weepy today…but I’ll survive!! 😊 xxx

[Hidden in reply to Charliecat123]

Och I wish I could give you a big hug. You had rotten news yesterday that you didn't want, so weepy and weary is understandable. 😘 X

[Charliecat123 in reply to Hidden]

Thanks Witchie346. You are very kind and thoughtful. I will plod on…one day at a time!! X

[Hidden in reply to Charliecat123]

Just take care and be kind to yourself Charliecat x

[Hidden in reply to Charliecat123]

Morning Charliecat, just a wee check in to see how you are today? It's wild here today very windy and wet 😩. I'm meant to be getting a ferry in a couple of hours so I hope it calms down. Thinking of you Charliecat and Lu sends a wee doggy kiss x

[Charliecat123 in reply to Hidden]

Thanks Witchie346. Have a lovely day. Thank you Lu! Woof!! X

[Hidden in reply to Charliecat123]

Thank you. X

[Hidden in reply to Charliecat123]

Morning Charliecat ,how are you today ? I hope you are doing ok. It's freezing here this morning and we have gale force winds forecast for tomorrow, I hate windy weather. Lots of houses here have their Christmas decorations up, in an effort to cheer things up I think as usually it's well into December before you see so many.

I'm just off out brave the cold and take Lu for a walk.

Take care,thinking of you. X

[Charliecat123 in reply to Hidden]

Thanks Witchie346. I’m just plodding on as usual. Son and wife gone back to Cardiff for a few days…little one has croup so quite poorly. I’m just trying to take it easy for a few days..I was so tired trying to help my daughter in law look after him…think I’m too old for that now!!😂 It’s sunny here after a frost last night. I don’t feel very christmassy but will make an effort for the children.

You must get lots of exercise taking Lu out..it’s good. I. Still in bed with a cup of tea watching GPS behind closed doors…must get up and do something.

Thanks for messaging. I’m trying to keep cheerful. Went out for lunch yesterday with my sister and a few friends….nice change.

My ex husband getting worse all the time. He’s refusing carers so it’s hard on the boys trying to look after him as best they can.

Enjoy your walk on the beach…sounds wonderful. Xxx

[Hidden in reply to Charliecat123]

Oh goodness croup, poor wee soul and poor you too,you will be tired out with it all. Just take it easy and a wee bit of long lie in bed with a cup of tea sounds ideal .That's lovely you had a lunch out yesterday,it's so nice to get out and about,see other people and be somewhere different.

I'm not feeling v Christmassy either but I love putting up my tree and decorations so 🤞 I will after that. I have bought all my presents online this year as the thought of busy shops just isn't my idea of fun anymore.

I'm sorry to hear about your ex husband,my father in law was the same ,he refused carers too but in the end had no choice and he was so rude to them. It's a very difficult situation for everyone.

My walk was great but vertu chilly. I walk about 10 to 15 miles a day with Lu ,spread out over 3 walks. I wear out my wellies in a couple of months as they out in so many miles ☺️. X

[Charliecat123 in reply to Hidden]

Oh goodness that’s a lot of walking..I’m very impressed!! You should be very fit.Have you had a date for your trab yet? Consultant said my needling would be at least a 2 month wait! How long have you been waiting? Hope it’s soon for you.

It’s so nice to hear from you xx

[Hidden in reply to Charliecat123]

I enjoy walking and there's so many great places to walk locally.I've got a new date Dec 8 so I've not had long to wait at all. My consultant just wanted to make sure I was fully over my cold first.

Fingers crossed you don't have long to wait as once you know you need it done you just want it over and done with..x

[Charliecat123 in reply to Hidden]

Hi Witchie346. It’s good you have another appointment and you can get it over and done with before Christmas. How long have you waited since you were told you needed it? You will be fine.I’ve had both eyes done. It’s the thought of it that’s worse than the actual procedure…I was really scared but it was ok.Good luck. I will be thinking about you on the day xx

[Hidden in reply to Charliecat123]

Thank you Charliecat. I think I've been waiting about 3 months. I had my right eye done in February so at least I know what to expect this time. I just want it over and done with this year so I can hopefully have an eye op free 2022 x

[Charliecat123 in reply to Hidden]

Oh yes Witchie I know that feeling. I’m wishing you lots of luck and I hope things go really well on the 8th. Xx

[Hidden in reply to Charliecat123]

Thank you Charliecat . I just couldn't wait until January which was my other option. X

[Charliecat123 in reply to Hidden]

Hi Witchie ..hope everything ok with you up there. Very rough here in Wales last night and today. Tree down across the road. Have you got snow…none here yet but it’s so cold!! Keep warm. Xx

[Hidden in reply to Charliecat123]

Hi Charliecat, it was very wild here yesterday,the ferries were all cancelled. I was meant to be going to my son's for the night but the weather was too bad.Its lovely today,but very cold ,I'm just in from a walk in the fields with Lu.I saw on the news Wales was particularly bad, we do normally get trees down here but none this time. No snow so far and hopefully we won't get any.

You keep wrapped up and warm too,it's sounds like it's a day for hibernating at home.

Take care x

[Hidden in reply to Charliecat123]

Hi Charliecat, how is everything with you ? Have you managed any more days out ? It was my friend's 70th today and she usually goes away with 2 old school friends for her birthday but covid has put a stop to that, so I made her an afternoon tea and pink gin and she seemed to enjoy it. It kept me busy too as I have my pre op covid test tomorrow .I am trying not to think about my op so making scones and cakes kept me well occupied.

Have you put up your Christmas tree yet or not ? I put mine up on 1st and the house does look very pretty but I'm still not feeling very Christmassy . Well I better get back to packing . Take care x

[Charliecat123 in reply to Hidden]

Hi Witchie. I was thinking about you yesterday…is your op on Wednesday.m sure you will be fine but I know what it’s like waiting. We are struggling here. My ex husband passed away last night and we are all shattered and so upset . Even though we knew it was inevitable it’s still such a shock.

I have an eye appointment on Tuesday….and I’ve just started coughing and feel exhausted..hoping it’s not covid!! Probably just stress but who knows.

Good luck on Wednesday…is it Wednesday? I will be thinking about you. Xx

[Hidden in reply to Charliecat123]

Oh Charliecat I'm so sorry to hear about your ex husband, nothing never really prepares you for it happening. There is never a good time but it's even worse at this time of year I think. Sending you loads of hugs. Your exhaustion and coughing probably is stress ,as you have had a dreadful few months and it has taken its toll on you.

I really do hope it isn't covid.

Is your appointment on Tuesday a date for you getting the needling done or another check up ? Good luck either way.

Thank you, yes my op is Wednesday, I do feel anxious even though I've been through it before . I've just been keeping busy and trying not to think about it.

You are in my thoughts 💕 x

[Hidden in reply to Charliecat123]

I hope your cough hasn't got any worse and that you are okay for your eye appointment today. 🤞 and I will be thinking of you. X

[Charliecat123 in reply to Hidden]

Thank you Witchie for remembering. My cough is slightly better. We are all sad and exhausted as my ex husband passed away on Saturday evening. Wish I didn’t have to go to the hospital today but I know I must. Hope you are ok. I will be thinking about you tomorrow. Try not to worry. You will be fine. The thought is worse than the actual thing. I know you’ve already had one eye done. Just get it over and done with. Xxx

[Engima in reply to Charliecat123]

So sorry to hear the news about your ex-husband. Hope all goes well for you at the hospital today, will be thinking of you. x

[Hidden in reply to Charliecat123]

The hospital is the last thing you need today after everything else that's happened but you can't afford to miss your appointment. It's a horrible time for you and your family, your boys definitely need their mum just now. I'm glad your cough is a bit better today.

Thank you, I just want my op over and done with now. X

[Charliecat123 in reply to Hidden]

Not a great appointment!! Good luck tomorrow..I will be thinking about you xxx

[Hidden in reply to Charliecat123]

Aww Charliecat I'm really sorry to hear that, I really wanted a positive appointment for you. Thank you for thinking of me, I'm just going to get up and start getting organised . Take care and sending you hugs and a wee kiss from Lu x

[Charliecat123 in reply to Hidden]

Will keep fingers crossed all day for you. What time do you need to be there. Try not to worry. It will be fine..like before! X

[Hidden in reply to Charliecat123]

12 and it's only 5 mins in car from flat . I'm hoping he operates on me first as the wait is horrible. I feel fine at moment but I probably am nervous I just don't know it yet 😂. Have you been given a date for needling yet ?

Thanks again for being lovely,it does help x

[Charliecat123 in reply to Hidden]

Hi Witchie. Hope you are ok and all went well. Thinking about you xxx

[Hidden in reply to Charliecat123]

Thank you Charliecat, my op went okay. I had a check up today and my eye pressure is 2 so I really can't see much in that eye everything is very blurry . The consultant expects the pressure to start to rise in next few days as the healing process begins. I see him again on Tuesday so fingers crossed. I feel absolutely fine apart from nit being able to see very well. The pressure in my other eye is 15 which is great.How is everything with you ? X

[Lindfieldtommy in reply to Hidden]

Hi Witchie. I am glad I found this post as I have been thinking about you and wondering how your operation went. It is good to know it did go ahead this time and you are in the first stages of recovery and with all the drops etc and I hope all goes well. I remember when I had my trab my pressure initially went down to four but gradually rose up as the days, it maybe weeks, it was a long time ago and my memory is not so good these day, but it continued going up gradually all the time and eventually settled around thirteen so I wish the same for you. Take care. X

[Hidden in reply to Lindfieldtommy]

Thank you Tommy, it's kind of you to think of me. I was terrified something would happen to stop it going ahead again, so the relief on Wednesday after op was huge That's reassuring to hear that although you also had low pressure initially it did go up . My consultant did tell me that low pressure is normal immediately afterwards but it's so different to my first experience so I didn't remotely expect it. I could see perfectly the very next day last time round but I do realise now that isn't the norm. Thirteen would be a great pressure for me so 🤞.

I hope all is good with you and I do appreciate your message x

[Ilovecake-]

Hello Charliecat I feel for you I really do but you are not alone really we are all here , keep messaging and talking to us because it really does help . I keep myself going by thinking science moves so fast hopefully in my life time they will come up with a miracle sight saving procedure for the dreaded G, please take care of yourself. Andrea

[Charliecat123 in reply to Ilovecake-]

Thanks for messaging. It helps a lot to know there are other people going through similar stuff xx

[Sufitzy]

Hold in there friend. It’s horrible and scary but we all keep going together. Have you thought of speaking to you go about some talking therapy or antidepressants . Mind you bloomin nightmare finding anything we can take that doesn’t affect pressure . I am currently on hold waiting to speak to my consultant about if I can take something . But knowing you are all out there and that other know how I feel does also help. And we are hear to let you k ow that you are not alone . X

[Charliecat123 in reply to Sufitzy]

Thanks Sufitzy. I hope you find something that helps. I’ve been on anti depressants but they do nothing for me unfortunately. They may help you though..it’s worth a try! Life is hard sometimes. One day at a time is my mantra!! X

[Sufitzy in reply to Charliecat123]

Big hug x

[Amandeep_GlaucomaUK]

Hello Charliecat123,

It can be very upsetting when it seems like nothing is helping to get your eye pressures under control, it sounds like your consultant has a plan in place to try and help with this. The consultants goal will always be to preserve as much of your vision and stop further damage to your optic nerve. I know it can feel both physically and mentally exhausting dealing with a glaucoma diagnosis and then the treatment that comes with it. I have seen the comments above from everyone in this forum and hope their comments have helped and reassured you that they have also been in a similar position to you. It is important to have a good support system on days like this, please feel free to reach out to us on our helpline if you ever just need someone to talk to.

Amandeep

Glaucoma UK Advisor

[Charliecat123 in reply to Amandeep_GlaucomaUK]

Thank you so much xx

[callie77]

Hi CharliecatI'm so sorry you're not having a good time of it lately. I completely understand as I'm due to get my pressures checked on Tuesday and I'm terrified.

I know I will be back in depression again if they haven't gone down.

You are not alone. Hope you have a better day today xx

[Charliecat123 in reply to callie77]

Hi Callie. Thank you for messaging. Good luck on Tuesday. It’s a stressful time. I will be thinking about you. Let me know how you get on. I have everything crossed 🤞 for you xx

[callie77 in reply to Charliecat123]

will do Charliecat. keeping my fingers crossed for some good news this time x hope you OK x

[Hidden in reply to callie77]

Everything crossed for you on Tuesday. I know it's nerve wracking but I will be thinking of you x

[callie77 in reply to Hidden]

Thanks Witchie. Hope you're feeling a lot better now. It's a never ending story isn't it! x

[Hidden in reply to callie77]

Thanks Callie much better, I'm back to eating chocolate again so I must be fine. 😀. Unfortunately it is but sometimes we do get good news ,I met a friend today and her pressures are 12 and 14, she doesn't have to go back to clinic for 9 months. Hers have never been so low. I love a positive glaucoma story 🤣 x

[callie77 in reply to Hidden]

Hi Witchie glad your feeling better. I do think we need a reward now and again to help us through the tough times. I've just ate 3 flapjacks!!

That is great news for your friend, how I wish that could be me!!

Fingers crossed xx

[Hidden in reply to callie77]

I agree a wee treat is necessary, I've just eaten half a bag of Bailey's Fudge !!! In my defence I got it for my birthday and today is the first day I've eaten any. Hopefully one day in the not too distant future it will be you 🤞. X

[floki7 in reply to Hidden]

Hey Witchie, I never got a notification that you were having your op, by email to say someone had made a comment on here ! Anyway hope you are coping well with the after effects and wish you a speedy recovery x

[Hidden in reply to floki7]

Thanks Floki I haven't done a post yet as after 2 cancelled ops I was scared to jinx it this time and decided to wait to see if it did go ahead. My eye is very blurry and I couldn't even see the eye chart yesterday never mind read it 😂. My op went well and everything looks fine as I had my check up yesterday but my pressure is v low ,it's only 2,hence the blurry vision. I was actually so scared this time they it would be cancelled my blood pressure was through the roof and I have perfectly average blood pressure normally.

Anyway the consultant says he expects the pressure to rise once my drops kick in and the healing process begins. 🤞.

Enough of me,how are you doing? Have you been making anymore delicious cakes 😋? I hope you are doing ok and I will write a post when I can see a bit better. Thank you for your message x

[floki7 in reply to Hidden]

Hi Witchie, glad its all behind you now, just the recovery period to get through now, hope you have better vision before the 25th ! Coffee and walnut sometime over the weekend hopefully ! Eye is still very blurry and dry, although when i wake up in the morning, it is very watery, not heard from the eye clinic yet for a check up, which should have been a month or so ago, but to be honest I just cant be bothered with it all now. Going to get new glasses after Christmas, so if I've not heard by then I will chase them up. Take it easy, and hope you are being waited on lol ! x

[Hidden in reply to floki7]

Yum my partner would appreciate coffee and walnut cake . There probably is no point chasing the clinic just now but it would be nice to have a date for the New Year so at least you know you are going to be seen soon. I probably would be feeling the same way as you tbh but they do need to figure out why your eye is still blurry and hopefully do something about it. My partner is not letting me do anything ,he's exhausted every evening running around after me, he's even making meals from scratch ,I never knew he could actually cook 😱 x

[floki7 in reply to Hidden]

Good to hear he is doing the cooking, no excuse in the future then lol, my wife dosn't like me to cook main meals, (I'm happy with that ! ) She wanted a Victoria sponge, so coffee and walnut it is. Enjoy your home cooked meals !

[Hidden in reply to floki7]

His meals aren't too exciting right enough,last night an omelette and he forgot to put tomato in !!! Tonight he's doing a Quorn fried rice apparently 😃. I actually prefer to cook myself but I'm just grateful he hasn't reverted to microwave ready meals this time. Don't be a meanie make a Victoria Sponge 🍰

[Engima]

Sorry to hear about your eye troubles. I am at the start (from June this year) of my glaucoma journey and have already had enough of eye droops! Thing is eye pressures seem to change from day to day. Last time I went to the eye clinic it as 21 and 20 in my eyes and I was put on extra drops. When I went to the opticians the next day the pressures were 21 and 15. Last week when I went to collect my new spectacles I asked for a pressure test and they were 15 and 16! One just cannot win. Seriously considering buying an eye pressure kit to use at home so I can 'keep and eye (no pun intended) on the pressures. Hang in there and remember were are always there for you on this site. Sending hugs. xx

[Charliecat123 in reply to Engima]

Thank you. Your messages help a lot xx

[frankthebank in reply to Engima]

Yeah you are spot on Enigma, if you took your eye pressures 4 times in a day you would get 4 different readings. Also my good eye with no Glaucoma and no eye issues has a pressure of around 19 and has done for years; a normal eye pressure ranges from 10-21. It's such a stressful disease though filled with lots of ups and downs. As for the home Kits if you find anything good please let me know. Take care

[Engima in reply to frankthebank]

Hi there. If I find anything suitable for measuring eye pressures will definitely let you know.

[frankthebank in reply to Engima]

Thanks

[Lovemy2woofs]

Sending you a big virtual hug 😘Only natural to feel low when facing health issues , take time out for yourself and find something to relax with and have a day off not thinking about your eyes , hard I know, but do something you love .

I hope things get better for you soon ,we are all here for you x

[Charliecat123 in reply to Lovemy2woofs]

Thanks..bless you x

[Petrolblue]

I am so sorry to hear that you need another procedure, its never ending. Please don't despair, as someone else said, there's a plan in place so keep moving forward and be kind to you self xx

[Charliecat123 in reply to Petrolblue]

Thank you. Your messages help a lot xxx

[Redshoes15]

I know exactly how you feel. It’s all such a struggle fighting this awful disease. xx

[valfrance]

Hi Charliecat, we all get times when we want to just give up.... however its impossible to do that with glaucoma as we all cherish our sight so much... we know we cannot give up... you are just onto the next stage and I do feel for all of you getting procedures... I guess it comes to us all in the end. take care valfrance

[Charliecat123 in reply to valfrance]

Thank you. Messages help xx

[Redshoes15]

Hi Charliecat, I hope you are feeling better today, I have been thinking about you. Needling is something that all of us who have had a trab might have to be done. All I can say is that when my consultant explained it he said it was only a very minor procedure compared to the trab and only takes about 10 minutes, so you are in and out in no time. I hope this is some comfort to you, but can quite understand how you feel. Be kind to yourself and let us know how you are xx

[Charliecat123 in reply to Redshoes15]

Thank you for messaging. I’m just worn out at the moment from fighting this. It’s just one thing after another. X

[Redshoes15]

I know just what you mean - I have been feeling like that myself lately. I now have glaucoma and cataracts in both eyes, dry eyes and blepharitis!! Can it get any worse???? Take care and keep smiling. I find my dancing helps, as when we are on the dance floor I forget all about it. xxx

[Charliecat123 in reply to Redshoes15]

Hi Redshoes15. I too have all those conditions plus floaters from vitreous detachment. We just have to plod on…but I’m weary and upset at the moment. Xx

[Redshoes15]

I am so sorry, do you have friends and family to support you? It’s even worse when you are alone, believe me I have been there often xx

[NewCardinal]

Hi - I went through the same thing. Trab in both eyes done 2019 and 2020. The 2019 had raised pressures up earlier this year so in April the hospital did a 'revision' - something more than needling. Checked over this week and pressure still down to where it needs to be and without drops. 2020 eye I do one lot of drops twice a day and pressure still down. Check out with your doctor whether needling is sufficient or whether you need a 'revision'. I'm very short-sighted to start with and the trabs have made me even more short-sighted. You just have to keep going otherwise the alternative is worse in losing your sight. I'm 68.