Hi everyone I’m having yet another meltdown about going blind. I’m so sorry for feeling like this.
Meltdown again. Sorry. : Hi everyone I’m having... - Glaucoma UK
Meltdown again. Sorry.
51 Replies
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Awww sweetie. Don’t be sorry, I’m sorry to hear you’re feeling like that again. Did something trigger it?
in reply to Wales99
It’s just when you have lovely times it gets you thinking how long will I see and be able to do these things x
Jennymary in reply to
I've been able to see OK for 59 yrs next Saturday my mum saw properly for 88yrs
in reply to Jennymary
Thankyou Jennymary is it open angle you have
Wales99 in reply to
I know & I think like that on my down days too. Honestly though- these days most people with glaucoma don’t go blind, especially with the type that you have and they’re making breakthroughs with it all the time. Xx
Just seen your reply to another post where you say you have to up your dry eye drops, is this the reason for your meltdown, I hope not as dry eye drops are NOT connected to your glaucoma
in reply to Jennymary
Hi Jennymary no dry eye drops are not the reason for the meltdown it’s because I’ve had a lovely day and just wonder how long I’m going to be able to carry on seeing so I can have lovely days
Oh Julie bless you absolutely no need to apologise! We’re here for you! Always share when you feel like this, you were so there for me! In a sense we are all in this together! So today it’s you, last week it was me! Sending big hugs and love x
in reply to Sunshine88888888
Thankyou so much xx
Sunshine88888888 in reply to
Hi Julie how are you feeling today x
in reply to Sunshine88888888
I’m ok Thankyou I’m just consumed with the thought of going blind but then I have chats with lovely people like you and know how long you have had gluacoma and how you live your life to the full and I just try to pull myself together. How are you feeling now with what’s been going on x
Sunshine88888888 in reply to
Hi Julie have had a busy day so that helps! Took my brother for his 9 am hospital appointment then made mum’s lunch. Visited my cousin whose down from London, eventually back home to crash. My eyes get really tired by evening and so do I don’t know if it’s the medication. Hope you have had a better day too. x
You never need to say sorry Julie, as Sunshine says we are all in this together and we are definitely all there for each other. X
in reply to
Thankyou so much xx
callie77 in reply to
Hi Julie just to let you know that you are not alone. I have been anxious and depressed since consultant told me I have to have a trab op in both eyes. I can't eat or sleep and when the grandchildren came yesterday I broke down again. I feel like I'm just existing. So you are not on your own thinking the way you do. Maybe give Trish a call. I did and she gave me a buddy to talk to who was very nice. Everyday seems to be a struggle, but I'm sending you a virtual hug because I know what you're feeling x
in reply to callie77
Thankyou so much. It’s just unbearable feelings that I can’t get under control. My life was perfect until gluacoma came along and now my life will never be the same again. When is your trab do you know. Im sending you virtual hugs to xx
callie77 in reply to
Not sure when it will be could be months. It's all the waiting and over thinking everything. Don't know how I'm going to cope till then. Like you said you just can't control your feelings.
Keep breaking down whenever someone's nice to me. It's crazy!!
X
in reply to callie77
Oh Callie you can't help how you feel, the waiting is definitely awful,once you know you need an eye op it's better to get it over and done with. I only got two weeks notice with my first trab and that was best as I had less time to panic. That's great you got a buddy,talking to someone who has been through it is a good idea. I hope you do get your date soon. X
callie77 in reply to
Thank you Witchie are you doing ok now? Yes I think the more time I've got the worse I am. It's in my head 24hours x
Lynne-H in reply to
Julie I`ve been where you are now - not with my glaucoma but when I developed tinnitus seven years ago. I felt I`d lost the life I loved and would never get it back again - but I did.
It just takes time to come to terms with things - just try and take one day at a time and enjoy the good times. And on the bad days - be kind to yourself.
Sending hugs.
Love Lynne xx
in reply to
Hi Julie I hope you are feeling a bit better today ? X
Hi Callie yes I'm good, I would like my second trab over and done with but mostly I'm trying not to think about it. My trab eye is totally back to normal and it's great not having to use drops in it. Once you have had your first trab and you hopefully recover well and your pressure is nice and low you might feel a bit better about things and not so focused on your eyes.
It's difficult when you can't stop thinking about it and that was definitely me in the beginning but once I saw my consultant it's weird I just stopped until obviously when an eye check up is due.
Sending you hugs x
callie77 in reply to
Thank you Witchie that gives me hope when I hear yours has gone well. Hugs appreciated! Take care x
Hi Julie I'm feeling a bit like that today just want to go back to sleep and wake up and glaucoma is magically gone. I also went on a googling spree last night which didn't help. I am taking setraline for my anxiety and it does help but there's still times when the fear just takes over. We just have to soldier on ay.
in reply to
Oh bless you I know the feeling some days I think it’s not there and then that feeling yes it’s real. I don’t really want to go down the anti depressant route if I can help it. Your right we have to solider on x
in reply to
Fair call ay they're not for everyone. Hang in there I'm sure you have many many more lovely days ahead of you (())
Sorry to hear you are having another meltdown, think we all have them now and again - I certainly do. It is difficult at times to be positive and it it is good to be able to 'chat' with others on this site as it definitely helps. How about trying a meditation or mindfulness class if there is one near you. Or listen to soothing music to try and help you relax at these times. I find sitting still and listening to the pigeons cooing in our silver birch tree very restful. And don't forget, we are always there for you. Have a lovely Sunday. xx
As you have bouts of anxiety maybe you should go down the medication route. I know not everyone would agree but for me it's not a sign of weakness but a means to quality of life. If it doesn't work for you then you don't have to continue with it but if you still feel anxious after the reassurance offered by people here maybe it's worth a try.
Absolutely I agree! Definitely not a sign of weakness- anything that helps! The only thing I would say is that a lot of the antidepressants, ie; amitriptyline aren’t suitable for people with glaucoma because they raise eye pressure. I looked into it for my anxiety & migraines. Your consultant is the best one to advise on that though- I’m certainly no expert! 😊
Oh Julie I so get it! I’m having some wobbles this weekend too. I just got my letter yesterday to book a test to be assessed to renew my medical driving licence 😬 and this on the back of a letter that my vision has deteriorated 😬. I also just had a lovely couple of days with my step-grandson who is a joyous 11 months old and I confess I did wonder how long I’ll be able to drive 150 miles to see him. And I wept, which isn’t a bad thing, as it’s a sort of pressure release. Worrying though…well there’s no point wasting your precious time worrying about something that might not happen - this is what I tell myself. Bear in mind COVID has increased anxiety for all of us, so sudden additional health worries on top can just push us into mega-worry mode. I think we are all dealing with a lot of change and loss of control right now. So sending huge love and hugs! ❤️ …And a balloon cos they make me smile.🎈 I’d blow bubbles that are a complete joy for my grandson, but can’t find a bubble emoji.🙂
Big hugs to you Julie, no need to apologise just so sorry to hear this. Have had similar meltdowns myself so I totally get it. This is normal, your procedure and treatments have gone well and you’re doing everything right. All will be well. Ever tried complementary therapies to relax? I’m a retired therapist, reflexology my favourite, so good. Currently I’m having Reiki and just started acupuncture for some troublesome headaches and find them helpful ❤️
in reply to Ktpink
Hi Thankyou for your message. No I’ve never trr egg ied complimentary therapies they sound very relaxing x
Ktpink in reply to
I’d really recommend the reflexology Julie, so beneficial for mind and body. Dealing with any medical condition takes its toll mentally and physically. I’ve been in dark places too and the only thing that gets me through sometimes is to know that it will pass. You have wonderful support on here too. Look after yourself xx
Totally agree reflexology, acupuncture or shiatsu really helped me too. Had shiatsu and then reflexology for years before I moved to this part of the country and had to leave my trusted therapists behind. Funnily enough I had just started thinking I need to find a good practitioner again. 👍🏻
Absolutely agree. I have acupuncture for hormonal depression and it’s worked for me. I absolutely love reflexology but I need to find one near me. Hidden I would defo recommend it.
Hi Wales, that’s great to hear, I’ve just started the acupuncture for pain and I also found it deeply relaxing. Win win. Wish I could treat you all virtually, loved doing reflexology x
Hi Julie I know how you feel and what you're going through, but you will get through this, stay strong, easy to say I know but we are all thinking of you. Unusual I know but I wear hearing aids and went to a party last night for my birthday and loads of people talking at once and music in the back ground, and all i could hear was this loud noise, couldnt join any conversations, just sat there like a dummy, which upset me more than having Glaucoma, but thats just me. So sending hugs to you, and never feel ashamed or silly for posting how you feel ! Best wishes.
in reply to floki7
Oh Floki it was your big birthday 🎉🎂🎁 . Happy belated birthday hugs . Did you get your campervan ? 😁Oh that's a shame about your party, it made me sad reading about it, you were the birthday boy it should have been all about you. Apart from the too noisy party did you have a good birthday ?
floki7 in reply to
Yes really it was great seeing all the family from a baby of around 2 months to me at 70 my son has a bar in his garden and 4 grandaughters aged 18-21 took full advantage of that and are paying the price this morning lol but thank you for the birthday wishes, Problem with the hearing i have good and bad days with it, and what with slightly blurred vision it makes you unsteady on your feet at times, ok sitting down, but that makes me more anxious than Glaucoma, but its not going to change, so just have to get by the best you can.
in reply to floki7
That's good apart from the 😫noise you enjoyed seeing all your family. I can imagine your grand daughters are fragile this morning 🥴. Shame you couldn't wow the crowd with your John Travolta's moves though 😋. I have always suffered ear infections every single time I get a cold and though my hearing loss is only ever temporary I must admit it makes me feel very odd ( odder !!!) and vulnerable and I don't do vulnerable 😫. I hope your glass was never empty whilst you were sitting down 🍺
floki7 in reply to
Yes always a glass in front of me, one of my grandaughters worked in a western type bar, where she learnt to make cocktails, so it was " try this grandad ", so had to tell her every time, no more, didn't do any good though ! John Travolta no no no ! lol
Best wishes to you Julie. It is horrible when you worry so much. I have an adult autistic son living with me which causes anxiety as well as the glaucoma. When I feel the worry getting worse during the day I do breathing stuff. Only takes 3 or 4 minutes so can do it several times a day if needed.
Just take a deep breath in. Hold it for a while. Breath out slowly and as you do say the word R-E-L-A-X slowly. Feel the muscles in your face and shoulders soften and relax.
Wait for a while (you can say something else in that brief time, I like to say 'I am calm, I am OK'.
Then take another deep breath and repeat the above. do this for as long as you like. Sometimes I find that even 3 or 4 cycles of this calm me down.
It may not sound too much, but if you do this regularly you will find that it becomes easier to relax your muscles. Everything is better with practice.
I doesn't take long to do so that is a big advantage in doing this.
I am not a therapist but I have been on many courses for relaxation, yoga, pilates, qui gong etc etc over the years. I found that trying to set aside 20 minutes or longer for a meditation session meant that I hardly ever did it. But the above is so simple and it really works for me to take the edge off anxiety at least. As I said, the more often you do it the more effective it is.
in reply to Astilbe
Thankyou I think I really do need to take time out x
Hi Julie.... I know what you mean... you let your guard down and enjoy yourself.... and you feel just like you used to... its called worry... this site is wonderful so many different stories and good information however, when you read the different procedures people get you know that is probably one's future with glaucoma. However on the positive Julie, you just had slt in 1 eye.... your reduction in pressure from 30 to 18 in such a short time is an extremely good result. You take care of your health and you are doing everything you can.... and if you carry on doing that and preserve your existing eye health you should not go blind. Along with all the different procedures one can have and future developments I think we will be fine... so chin up.... and enjoy your life.... you are having your next slt soon and then your pressure will be down in both eyes. take care valfrance ps. do you take natural supplements... i listed them all in my posts that i take... based on research...its for macular health and your immune system
in reply to valfrance
Thankyou Val. How’s things with you after laser x
Hi Julie, thanks for asking the slt has so far been amazing.... i feel so much better not taking strong drops (beta blocker) I only take monoprost in the night.... and of course dry eye medication non preservative.... i go this week to cannes for a pressure test, i book one every month to make sure i am ok....i pay 25 euros and for peace of mind it is worth it to me... i dont want to wait 2 months till i see someone..pressure can go up and you dont know...
I go to my consultant at monaco hospital at the end of september.... my test last month in cannes was 18 previously 19.... and I am so happy with that result.... i am hoping on friday it has not gone up and fingers crossed gone down... However I run a hotel and my job is mad busy in the summer with lots of pressure and stress and that is not good for the eyes.... i have not had time to go walking however i walk around this property all day... but not the same.. i have also been drinking more wine than i usually do since my diagnosis due to stress.... i dont smoke anymore i have to do something... to wind down.... anyway you stop worrying please.... when you get your next slt do ask if you can reduce down to 1 drop.... i think you were taking lantaprost that is the same as monoprost..... as how do you know it works well without the stronger drops (beta blockers).... i suggested this to my consultant so she reduced me to the 1 drop after 4 weeks.... i was taking monoprost and alphagan.... so this is the stage i am at.... just seeing if everything will continue with just 1 medication. take care valfrance
in reply to valfrance
Hi val I’m so happy SLt is working for you and long may that continue. That’s a really good idea to have pressures checked every month I’m not sure they do that here will be worth looking into. Wow you sound super busy as well. My job involves walking for my whole shift of 6 and half hours Monday to Friday not the same as in the fresh air but it must help surely. Really good giving up smoking well done. I’ve never smoked and not a massive drinker but do like Rose wine . I’m only on one drop per day per eye but it’s a combination drop called Fixapost so really it’s 2 but it’s mixed together in one solution. I have to put it in in the morning. I hope everything carries on well for you. Chat soon and take care x
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