Hi all..... Just a short post. I m feeling extremely depressed today...... Not sure exactly why and I do have an appt with my oncologist tomorrow. Had CT scan today results pending. I usually have PET scans but for some reason my insurance would not authorize it this time but my disease usually isn't picked up on a CT scan so who knows what game the insurance company is playing......anyway....... I can t seem to stop crying...... I think I put on such a good front for my family as far as me dealing just fine with everything...... I don't know my friends, where to turn. I Don t want the family worrying about me....... Suggestions?

31 Replies

  • You shouldn't have to "hide" from your family..... That's what we're here for you. You aren't alone!! 💗

  • I can understand. I just had a Dr scan today too, get results Monday from my oncologist. I get depressed at times too, so don't feel alone. Tell your family, let them give you support. My last pet scan gave unclear readings because I'm on high dose steroids for radiation pneumonitis. Therefore now a pet scan. He told me there seemed to be new cancer in my lungs, but couldn't read it clearly. I've been so nervous and lost my job, and had to get new insurance, so waiting to see how that's going to go. I'll remember you in my prayers tonight.

  • You are in my prayers. Hang in there.

  • You are in my prayers. If we didn't get depressed sometimes, I don't think we would be human. I have to wait until July to get scan. I constantly wonder if the cancer came back. I'm constantly tired. It's been a long awful ride of my life. Before the diagnosis I had great friends and at the time a wonderful boyfriend. Lost friends and boyfriend when I told them of the cancer. When I get depressed, I pray a lot and spend my time crocheting. Try to find something you enjoy. God bless you!

  • Lost my boyfriend too but fortunately not my friends. Hope you have family to help you through

  • Thank you for your reply. Sorry to hear you lost your boyfriend too. Yes, I do have family. Three sisters and two brothers. In fact, I moved into my sister's home after diagnosis. I don't know what I would have done without her. Her husband and her took me to chemo and radiation everyday. And took care of all my need and still does. Hope things are going well for you.

  • Couldn't log on for a while but just posted an update. Glad your family was/is there for you 😊

  • I think a posting is a good place to start. I hear you and feel your pain about the depression and insurance companies. I think insurance companies all suck to some degree. I get depressed on and off too. it's really tough because my family can't hear anything without crying which makes me feel bad so we don't really talk about everything we need to. I would also say call the ACS to see if they have anyone or if there is a support group in your area. Your hospital might also have some affiliation with a wellness center or something as well. Feel free to message me too I welcome the pen pal.

  • Thank you for your comments. This site is helping me cope so not sure if I need to find a group or not. Hope you're doing well

  • You are not alone I too get very depressed and feel like crying. I try to not let this get to me. I am still working in food service I'm going to be 70 this year and I won't give up its ok to cry and feel sad but don't ever give up.

  • Sorry you are struggling. Maybe talking to a therapist would help. Then you wouldn't feel you are upsetting the family. Prayers for you in this difficult time

  • I always feel depressed when I have a scan and am waiting for the results. I think I am just fearful of the results. I am sorry that you feel alone. You may be like me, I feel like if I say my fears out loud it makes them real, and I don't want to burden my children. You will be going to the dr today. Please keep us posted and let us be you "other family". Love to you.


  • Just posted an update

  • I go through periods of depression because of the disease. I call them pity parties but I don't allow myself to stay long!! I start counting my blessings, I'm alive, I get to spend another day with those I love dearly, I'm able to take care of myself, and I'm not going to waste time time thinking about the what ifs.

    I know Christ as my personal Savior and each day He gives me new strength. I try to take life one day at a time. I have my first follow up CT scan on 5/25 and am anxious to get it done and dreading it at the same time. I know the scan will be either good news or bad news. Either way, I also know God will give me the strength to accept it.

    Put yourself in your family's place and ask yourself if you would want them to 100% open and honest about how they feel and their concerns. Your answer should determine how honest and open you are with them.

    If you don't know Christ as your personal Savior, you should get to know Him today. He says He will NEVER leave you nor forsake you. He has been my strength throughout this journey and without Him, I wouldn't be where I am today.

    God bless you and strengthen you.

  • Ruth ,you scan results on5/25.Could you give an update?Pray for good results.

  • At that time, the doctor said that the tumor appears to be in remission. Praise the Lord! I go back for my next testing day on August 25th.

  • Wow! You all make me feel some what normal. I also struggle ! Wait for results is terrible, but Gods keeps getting me through. For me.. My family supports me the best they can, but no one knows but us and the Lord. They try, but unless you had 37 staples in your head or put that mask on and did radiation and chemo you don't fully understand. Allow yourself to feel but don't get stuck! Gods given us another day! Don't give up.💕💜💕

  • Good morning, I know how you feel. God knows what we all are going through. But we still have all these feelings, pain worry ect ect. We only take one day at a time. AND The good Lord will always be with us. We think God is so slow to answer our needs, But he is teaching us to lean on him. Tomorrow will be better . Lol. I can't say witch tomorrow it will be. Lol. As far as a pet scan you can only have one a year. The gov. And insurance will only pay for this once. I only wish congress and heads of insurance had to put up with we go through..I'm new on this site but I'll pray for you

  • It is okay to have a down day. You may have some scanxiety going, especially if you're worried the CT scan won't be accurate.

    I know this is not always true, but I have heard that insurance will only pay for 3 PET scans in a lifetime. It could be that your insurance company has limits on the number they will pay for???

    While it is okay to have a down day, it is also important that you don't let yourself stay depressed. If it seems to go on, please chat with your doctor about anti-depressants and maybe even some therapy.

    Best of luck!! You do know that you can come here when you have things to say or emotions you don't want to express to your family. We understand.

  • Hope your CT scan came back clear and all is well.

  • Hi Cyndicat, Guess by now you know the results of your ct scan. They are supposed to be accurate. The pet scan is to see if it spread. Hope everything went well for you.😊 Thinking of you. 😊 Rubyxx

  • Ooooo I know how you feel I too am having a very depressed time. Things are going good my doc says things look good each time I go. I been working also I can't seem to shake this depressed feeling I put up a good front with family and friends but I cry when I'm alone I wish I knew why. So if it makes you feel any better knowing you are not alone. Try to smile.

  • Crying releases toxins so it's good for us to let it out.

  • Don't hide call your loved ones . I get depressed quite often then I FaceTime with my grandkids and feel so much better

  • They're already worried. Let them in. It will be good for you and them. God bless you

  • Crying releases toxins through your tears so have at! We can't afford to keep those feelings bottled up. Everyday I say out loud that my cancer and pain are gone to help me feel positive. But some days I still have to cry 😢

  • I know how you feel I to cry when I'm by my self. I won't let my family see me down. I'm scared . Don't get me wrong I do have good days too. Keep smiling you have the right to cry but don't let it consume you.

  • Praying

  • I don't know what's wrong

  • Sorry today was a bad day for you. We all go through those, sometimes it seems it will never end. These are natural emotions for what we are all dealing with. Oh my, I just realized your post was 2 months ago! Hoping things have turned around for you. You are in my prayers.

  • Good Afternoon, I am so sorry - I just saw your posting (I am new at this position). I hope things are going better for you now; I know we would all love to hear from you. I was told once that crying is the purest form of prayer. Whatever your beliefs are, crying is certainly a way to let our souls speak. Hugs to you.

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