Suddenly overwhelmed

[Jazymay]

Hi, I am suddenly feeling very low and overwhelmed. I work a couple of hours a day. And the wobbles have just come back quite bad. I am back to crutches and going at snails pace.

I have a good sized garden which I cannot keep on top of. All my ideas involve putting down areas of stones or something, but I have no one to help me.

Its the same in my house. It could be beautiful, but it needs effort, like carpets removed.

I don't have money to pay anyone to do these things. I don't want to go to work today because I feel so yucky.

I think it is hitting me that this is ongoing. That I might have a physical disability. Even saying it sounds wrong. I don't want to be like this.

I used to decorate, build things, dig ponds and make my garden beautifiul. Now i literally have sand in my back yard, where there was a lawn. There is a build up of junk. It is seriously not my haven like it used to be.

I feel so sad. I feel frustrated too. But sad.

Any ideas?

Jazymay

[Hidden]

My idea is to find joy of what makes you happy not what made you happy. This morning sunday the 6th in USA I woke up and couldnt use my body to get up from the chest down. After 20 minutes to almost 40 minutes I managed to get my walker out and begin to try and stand which took just as long. I totally understand how you want to do the things you love to do. For me its projects around the house, repairing vehicles, just being the mechanic/handyman/builder I am.

But this morning I broke it down into a short amount of words which is ( I want to solve problems). What makes me happy and satisfied in life is LEARNING just about everything.

I didn't get to somewhat normal until 6 hours later. I feel like my brain is getting used to seperating from my body and motor functions because of how I wake up or come out of an attack and things like my eyes wont open. I had to go the rest of the night blind and in the middle of the night I woke up not being able to see nor use my left side.

As horrible as it is, today in the morning I was sad and just wanted it to be over, but I am never sure. I have my wife to help motivate me and keep my spirits up, but it's still hard to handle and I ask why me? Right?

If you are single and alone don't feel so lonely because you have us. I understand you. In the USA we say "I feel you" Which is a deep emotional understanding of one another. So, I feel you don't worry work within your limits I have my limits now and theres no denying it. It's all good! Itll get better

[Jazymay in reply to Hidden]

I think that is what I am struggling with. It sounds like I am a bit like you. I very much enjoy "doing" things. But as I am so wobbly my torso keeps wobbling and my right had too, I don't know what is left to do.

I wasn't going to be stopped on the weekend and struggled with a shopping trolley and bought some plants for the garden. When I looked at them t home I realised I had to dig a hole and prepare the ground. I just forgot the steps it took to plant a new plant.

I am sorry you woke up so bad. That's is truely awful. Even having your wife there, it must still feel horrible at times.

But thanks for the support.

[Hidden in reply to Jazymay]

I think that having a sense of purpose is what we need as people but even more for us because if we don't than our bodies will become more problematic and more. For me I have a Cadillac Deville I'm rebuilding for me neighbor. Its been going on for a few months but now that I quit my job this past thursday I have that "I need" in my head still. The garage is in shambles due to the job on the Cadillac. And now I am job searching just really because if I don't then itll be like before. Where my body will go backward. So doing things to keep busy really pushes our minds and bodies to push and not revert to having other problems

[Chihuahua_crazy]

It’s really hard coming to terms with being disabled . I was young fit and active. And over night my life changed. All my plans out the window. My activity’s got less and less over a short space of time. Anxiety levels rose just as fast. It took me a long time to come to terms with all my health issues.

I’m as good as housebound these days. I go to my appointments. That’s it! I don’t have the energy to go out. And when I do go out people think I’m drunk! I feel overwhelmed most of the time. Your not alone

[Jazymay in reply to Chihuahua_crazy]

Its rubbish! It's so quick too. I am used to having fibro, but I could push myself more with that. At least I got weeks of being ok. Do you mind me asking how old you are?

[Chihuahua_crazy in reply to Jazymay]

I’m turning 40 soon. Been suffering for since I was 32! I don’t fight the symptoms anymore. Don’t have the energy for one. But also fighting it makes it worse. I’ll have a day or two where I’m feeling “normal “ what ever that is. Lol.

[Jazymay in reply to Chihuahua_crazy]

Lol. Similar to me. 46 now. Had what I used to think was perminent migraine 13 years ago, then fibro, now this. In hindsight, likely the same thing.

Mice to compare with some one.

[Jazymay in reply to Jazymay]

What do you do to keep your mind busy? How do you stop from going crazy with boredom?

[Chihuahua_crazy in reply to Jazymay]

I bought myself the wii u. Zelda keeps me busy. Lol.

[Jazymay in reply to Chihuahua_crazy]

Haha! Awesome.

[Leesaloo]

Hi, I too loved my garden but have realised I’m unable to garden how I used too. Last year I very slowly pulled lots of plants out, cut others down, basically I’ve got rid of loads of plants. I realised I wanted to enjoy my garden but was frustrated at the work needed to maintain it. I now have a few pots and do 3 hanging baskets all with the same colour begonias, I’m happy with that and they are enough for me too look after. My partner helps with buying and planting these few flowers as he hates gardening. I can now enjoy my summer in the garden with just a few manageable flowers and not get so frustrated and angry with myself for not being able to do what I used too. Mind you it’s took me nearly 4 years to realise that I just can’t do what I used too, it has been a very steep learning curve and I’m still struggling with pacing. Housework is the same, sometimes I’m ashamed when I look around and realise what needs to be done but I’m having to accept that I can only do what I can. It’s very hard.