I started my journey with FND 10 years ago. Although I had obvious signs and symptoms of FND and had seen more than one doctor, none of them thought to send me to see a Neurologist. I was always sent away and told to "Keep an eye on it." My current doctor remains perplexed at this and it was this doctor that opened the door to my diagnosis.
Over these last 10 years, I have gone from a very active life to a wheelchair, but not even a self propelled chair because I am too weak to manage one, I use a powered wheelchair especially when I go out; without it I would be house bound.
Life is very different now to what it used to be. Instead of getting up in the morning with a spring in my step and able to decide what I would like to do, I now drag myself up and decide what I 'think' I can do and take it from there.
Each day brings a choice, a choice of acceptance. When we can accept our limitations and embrace them, we can live with compassion and forgiveness to ourselves, others and life. When we live with compassion and forgiveness, it is easier to find a "Silver Lining" within the clouds of our existence.
I hope you can find your silver lining through self love, compassion and forgiveness.
I went from fear to grief to depression to acceptance then to anger and fear again. I’m trying to accept it again but I don’t want to. I know I should so I could be more at peace but I am angry and scared and can’t believe this is really my life now.
Hi AjaStar, thank you for your response. Acceptance is a cycle, it isn't a one off choice or decision. The cycle of change includes acceptance but it doesn't mean we won't take a step backwards.
Often, acceptance comes after many steps forward and several back. Don't be so hard on yourself. I understand when you say your emotions were fine until you had a 'blip'. I am, or was, a professional counsellor, and negative emotions don't always come before a 'fall'. I am positive and optimistic and I believe that one day I will be better than what I currently am, but this is a journey, and all journey's have pit stops, hills, roundabouts etc, it is all part of it.
Hang in there, do what you can and be grateful for it, don't waste time or energy thinking about what you could do, focus on what you can do and what you possible can do tomorrow. Always look forward, never back; looking back should only be to learn from the past not be drowned in it.
Fear and anger are natural responses to life and to things that challenge us. All we can do is work on accepting our situation TODAY...……..because tomorrow may be different. Be brave and willing to let go of the fear because it may not be as bad as you think it will be or is. I have watched my mobility go down year in, year out but I accept that there is only so much I can do, and as long as I do all I can TODAY...…….then I can rest in peace in readiness for tomorrow.
Very wise!!! Unfortunately I am gonna be immature for awhile. You did give me something to think about, thank you and I hope you are having a good day today
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