Trying not to give up on hope

[Katty_Holz]

I need mention that this forum post is to vent out my personal agony over all those failed TTC attempts.

2 years of natural TTC (failed) under the instruction of RE that my PCOS history won't affect my pregnancy anymore. The unexplained infertility was followed up by insemination as well (failed). When opted for IVF I was diagnosed with poor eggs and DOR. Still being hopeful I was put on medication to improve my egg a bit so that ICSI can be easily performed from the best of my collected eggs. 1st cycle - 8 eggs of which 6 fertilized and later 2 fresh transfer but no BFP ever. Due to the egg quality, the remaining got arrested shortly after. 2nd cycle - 5 eggs collected only 3 could make it to fertilization but next day after when the implantation was supposed to happen it was all over (I started bleeding). Finally after running a whole set of diagnosis all over again, because I was reluctant about transferring the remaining embie without insight into the failed attempt they detected endometrial cells growing outside. Had to get it removed but it created scar tissues. Doc suggest because I had a FET and probably conceived too while having the endo while it tried to latch on it's gotten worse. The next twin transfer ended up in an early pregnancy loss shortly before the scan at the beginning of 6 weeks. I'm informed that some of the post PCOS complication + scar tissues are affecting the early gestation. The only possible way is probably surrogacy as my uterus seems to not support a pregnancy.

As a couple, we've been through a lot over past few years. Surrogacy is far too much both emotionally as well as financially. So, I've decided not to go for it. It seems the wisest decision as of now, but it's killing me within that what if I become more desperate to have a child in the years to come? Can't rely much on my ovarian reserve for far too long owing to the DOR.

It's easy to say "never lose hope" but sometimes situations are just beyond hopeless.

[Katty_Holz]

Thank you for those supportive words. It's been a year that we gave up but now we're just up for trying normally .... like with normal medications to boost ovulation and some supplements for both of us. I guess we both want a baby and willing to start a family. Though things haven't been in favour, we can't just abandon the thought of a family. Personally, I'm saving up and maybe we'll have to manage surrogacy in a couple of years... but for now just the medicated TTCs sounds like getting back on tack. I hope you find a suitable clinic that can bring success soon. Good Luck!

[Katty_Holz]

I can totally relate to the situation.... the whole world seems to get pregnant and celebrate over it while you suffer silently succumbed to your own losses. Sending love and strength to you! Oh I love when my dear friends and family announce their pregnancy but can't help feeling more miserable when thinking about it. Hate the insensible lot though. Poking awful questions and stuff makes me feel more miserable. I guess with time I've learned to block it out a bit... but it still affects someway or the other. 8 years a long time... did you try assisted fertility yet? I don't think considering the MC you're a problem is conceiving but sustaining the pregnancy. Sometimes PGS and PGD on embryo can eliminate that when the MC is triggered by some chromosomal anomaly. I've read about it. Why don't you dig a more on IVF with PGS ... you never know what might help. Wish you Luck

[SerrineV]

Surrogacy in Ukraine is relatively affordable. As for US surrogacy, it is half the price, and nowhere near the hassle. To be fair, there are other clinics in Ukraine that are great as well. Moreover, you will find similar plans there. The reason we chose BTC is because we independently read a lot of great reviews online, even before meeting Shabana. There isn’t as much info in the US forums as there are in European forums. As Ukraine is only a two or three hour flight for most, and since they are in different languages, we had to use Google Translate to gather the intel on some forums. This is why I wanted to share our experience, so that others in the US could find it useful for their own fertility plans. Shabana was able to connect us to a couple from Seattle. They had just taken their twins home then. The mom of the twins took the time to talk on the phone. She reassured us that it was a legit legal process. Medically, they were very sound and advanced. Also that bringing the twins back to the US hadn’t been an issue at all. After some more discussion, we decided to go for it. Have nothing to regret about. Currently taking care of our sweet surrogacy LO.