How do you get through the pain and feel better

Everything I do hurts, aches, pains.

We left hospital today and people make me nervous. We left our baby boy behind am confused, sick, angry, sad, dying yet I have to get through each minute of the day.

How I can't find it...

22 Replies

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  • Tamtam 😒Sweetheart. I'm so so so sorry for you and your little boy. I've been thinking about you last couple of days. I just can't comprehend what your going through. I hope you have been offered the right support. There will be lots online. Please don't try to burden yourself by coping with this alone. Have they offered you any kind of explanation as to what's happened? My friend lost her child at 34 weeks and Said it helped eventually with the grieving process, further down the line. Right now just try and rest and heal. No one can expect anything of you. You've just lost a child. Curl up with you partner and shut the door on the world for a bit. We lost a baby at 8 weeks and it still affects me now after 15 years. What your going through must be ten times worse. Just do whatever you need to do. Shout cry, scream, sleep. Do whatever you need to. Just know that there's so much support waiting for you on these forums. We're all here xxxx

  • Tam Tam πŸ˜”

    Nothing anyone says or does will stop the way you feel and what you are going through.

    I really feel for you, I can't even imagine what you are feeling.

    I hope and pray for you to get through this, one day at a time.

    Sending you a massive hug

  • Awww my heart breaks for you both.Nothing but time can help, you will never forget and nor would you want to,but time makes things that little bit more bearable. Look after each other and use your love to support each other xxx

  • I'm thinking of you & your OH. Please take lots of care of yourselves.

  • Sending you a big hug and my thoughts are with you.

    You need to go through the emotions.

    Maybe have a look at the miscarriage association, Tommys clinic and if there is anyone you can talk to from your clinic.

    You will have days of feeling numb, just take each day as it arrives X

  • I am so sorry you're going through this tamtam. Take time to grieve and be kind to yourself. You have been through so much. Thinking of you X

  • Thinking of you. Take care.

  • I've pm'd you hun xxxx

  • Tamtam, i'm lost for words and no words can explain the shere dispair and upset you are feeling. I've thought about you everyday since your post. I'm so sorry this has happened to you. Your little boy will be the guardian angel on your shoulder. Somehow and someway you will get through this. Have time to grieve and cry as much as you want. Such a heavy burden to bear, my thoughts are constantly with you xxxxx

  • Thank you my love the only way we know how is to get by a minute by a minute anything else is too long xxxx

  • Minute by minute is a good start. However you do it as long as you get through each day then thats all you can do. Maybe in a few months when your feeling just a little stronger think of something like planting a tree in your garden as your place to go to in your own home. You will constantly think of him, everyday, but each year when your tree/bush blossoms you will know how far you've come. Slightly different but I was bought a small rose tree in memory of my dad of which is fairly big now and blossoms in full bloom every year and makes me feel warm inside when I see it. 😘 Xxxx

  • We have his funeral on Wednesday so we have space to lay him to rest and fonder and chat to him. My garden soil is soooooooooo crap it's just weeds and i really don't have green fingers we are going to try and find a patch and maybe plant something is a massive pot that can withhold time xx

  • That sounds like a lovely idea and something that will be at home with you. I can't even begin to imagine the pain you must be feeling at planning his funeral πŸ˜“ Have you names him? Sending you as much support and love as possible xxx

  • His name is Khalil....

  • Lovely name, and i've just seen that it means friend. xx

  • So so sorry to hear this tamtam, can't imagine how you must be feeling. Take your time and do whatever you both need to do, shut others out for a while and look after each other if that helps at all. Huge hugs to you xxxx

  • Awww tam tam this breaks my heart reading this life is so cruel, I can't even imagine what your both going through 😒 nothing anyone says will make uz feel any better as u will just want to scream I really hope they gave u some sort of support, maybe you guys should book a wee break get away from everything and everyone be kind to yourselves hun. Thinking of you both massive hugs πŸ’–

  • Thought of you today X

  • Hi Tam Tam, just wanted to let you know I was thinking about you and I hope that the funeral was beautiful and healing. My heart aches for you and rages at the unfairness of it all. I still feel sad when I think about losing my twins and it was nearly 2 years ago but I promise you that the cloud lifts a bit with time and it becomes a little easier to breathe. And one day we will both get our miracles xxxx

  • Thanks honey

    I hope we will xxx

  • I can't believe this has happened after everything you have been through and all the love you have for your baby, it is so unfair and cruel. I know nothing we say can make it better but please know that I am thinking of your beautiful Khalil and sending you both a hug. I hope you have kind support around you and feel Khalil with you in your heart where he will always be close to you xxxx

  • OMG tamtam am just seeing this OMG... am so so sorry,i no nothing anyone says can make this hurt any less am lost for words my heart hurts for u..just shut the world out u and ur partner and take time dont let anyone tell u how u should be feel or or how u should handle this or for how long to feel it for...hes ur little boy only u no the pain ur feeling...am so sorry xxx

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