10dp5dt BFN on first response.

[Nik1988]

Caved, tested 10dp5dt FMU on a first response and was no surprise BFN. Strong AF pains last night. Not holding out for Monday at all OTD

I know I shouldn’t of tested early but at 10dp5dt should be pretty accurate right?

don’t expect it to change now.

I’m not upset, just angry at my self for caving, at the embryologist and someone upstairs. Sooo angry......

stupidly believed had no reason not to work. (No tubes everything else fine) stupidity listened to statistics regarding average cycle success for my age/ situation. More so stupidly believed in all the pineapple, supplement, warm feet crap.

Did everything to a T was an FET cycle, grade 2BB which I think was the issue although embryologist argues was a good grade....

[Milanoel1]

Hi I’m on the same boat. Except I VERY STUPIDLY tested 6dp5dt after watching so many videos of YouTube of other women who were showing at least the faintest line. I was so distraught that day and told myself I wouldn’t test until at least 10dp but I actually tested everyday LOL in a weird way I felt like it made me feel a little bit more in control at least knowing what was going on each day. I was so so convinced this was going to work and when I saw the BFN on 6dp my heart just sank. I felt so sill for really letting myself think it may work. My husband keeps saying he thinks it’ll be different on OTD but I guess I’m just expecting the worst and still have a tiny glimmer of hope it may change. I had so many symptoms up until 8dp but now everything seems to have stopped just mild cramping which has been going on for the last 2/3 days. About my transfer I’m not sure what grades they were I think 4something but I had 2 put back in. Hopefully things will take a positive turn for us both x🙏

[Nik1988 in reply to Milanoel1]

It is so hard now knowing. I totally get the being in control of seeing what’s happening early on. I’ve read a few it’s changed for but then how many are going to post it didn’t. See loads too that say tested early which makes it harder. My husband and the clinic have said wait and test again on Monday although I’ve already cried it out this morning and not convinced at all.

Even sat working out in my head what’s next best move and how we are going to pay for it.

Also weather to or not. We have one more in the freezer but not sure if I want to give another fresh and freeze all ago. Before using it. Having like a safety net with more chances would make me feel better? 🤷‍♀️

Either that or a holiday to Dubai.

Keeping everything crossed for you. X

[Milanoel1 in reply to Nik1988]

Yes to be honest the whole situation is just so shit. I just don’t understand what could’ve happened. I’m 28, normal BMI and they said they couldn’t see anything that was off. It’s so disappointing and my friends are family, even though they think they’re helping saying just stay positive, you don’t know just yet, I just want to scream at them and shut them out I just want to be sad about it. I don’t want to hear about how this happens a lot, it’ll come when the time is right and all that other stuff. Although this is my first IVF cycle I’ve had 2 miscarriages last year and I swear this feels so much like it. I feel like I’ve lost something. Ugh IDK what to do next either. Like I said this is our first IVF and it’s through NHS so it’s free and we get a free frozen transfer as well. They told me we have 2 hatched embryos frozen. We will probably end up doing the FET because I just feel like it’d be dumb not to seeing as it’s free and all. If that doesn’t work though I think it’s over for us as we can’t afford to pay for it. I’ll probably just head to Dubai for a holiday as well LOL. Do you have any advice on what to tell friends/fam that you just need space. Everything I’ve thought of saying just doesn’t sound right and I really just want time away from anyone for a couple days. x

[Nik1988 in reply to Milanoel1]

I feel your pain. I’m not sure what to say.... personally I am quite blunt and apologize after and if they are real friends and family they will understand and accept that. XDefinitely worth another go. We had an eptopic last year which resulted in my tube removed and the one left is blocked with scar tissue. Xx it’s so hard hearing stay positive and you never know it could turn around. And they all mean well but I think when we get to this point we just need to hear the truth. Xx

[Hk12]

Nik1988, I am so sorry to hear this. In my first failed FET, I tested on 10dp5dt despite my OTD being 12dp5dt and my nurse told me that the result would unlikely to change if I see a negative on 10dp5dt... but then mine was 5day blast so I don’t know whether this applies to you...

In my second transfer, I started testing from 4dp because I really wanted to manage expectations from early on and because I thought I would learn something (whether I get any faint lines which disappear or just don’t get any).. I know some women find testing early hard but for me, waiting till 10dp and getting all my hope taken away on one day was really hard.

From my consultation, I heard most of failure is to do with the embryo itself thus IVf is a numbers game... sometimes embryo grading doesn’t mean much as my first failed one was 5AA. I wanted to do lots of tests but they told me to try at least 3 transfers before those... so after my failed transfer, I booked the holiday to Santorini, had an amazing time there, and still managed to do back to back FET (natural this time). Im mentioning this as I saw your comment on Dubai - I think sometimes it does help to de-stress yourself by taking holidays! I actually booked santorini without knowing the result so if the result was negative, I could at least enjoy the jacuzzi and champagne... Stay positive and strong, and fingers crossed it will happen one day. Lots of baby dust on you!! Xxx

[Nik1988 in reply to Hk12]

Thank you for your response. Mine was also a 5 day blast and to be cruel they have told me to stay on my meds and test again Monday. 😢 really I could so with a chilled weekend, hot bubble bath and glass of wine, but no! XxI think I am the same, would rather test early to avoid huge disappointment after waiting a while 2 weeks. Grieve a little at a time then.

My husband is saying wait too but I think he is prolonging his feelings. He isn’t very emotional anyway and snored his head off last night while I laid away sobbing. Despite him wanting to be the one to keep going until it does happen. X

I’ve gone back to my clinic for more answers as to progesterone levels at transfer, if low now would I start bleeding, what can we do on the next one (scratch ect) can I choose to have another fresh before I’ve used my last frozen ect. Just trying to piece things together ready for Monday and then work out our next plan after Christmas. It’s so hard been so costly and time consuming. Other plans on hold ect..... but will definitely be looking at booking a get away. We need that time as a couple and I have to say our experience so far is it’s tested our marriage and definitely pushed us apart a lot.

Fingers crossed for you. Xxx

[Hk12 in reply to Nik1988]

I know how you feel... and my other half was like that too when I had a failed transfer and I remember feeling so upset and lonely... so easy for guys, I doubt they will ever understand physical and emotional things we go through. My clinic also told me to continue taking medicine until my OTD so I had to unfortunately, too.. just make sure you test again on OTD before discontinuing medicines.

Have you checked your progesterone level before/on the day of transfer? I heard from a girl who did ivf in the US that her clinic checked levels of Thyroid, estrogen and progesterone and it’s key for successful implantation. I haven’t got those tested myself but at least convinced the clinic to check my progestrone level. Maybe that’s something you can try. Otherwise, I heard about ERA and some immunology tests but my consultant didn’t recommend those until i try the transfer at least three times. They are also very costly..

[Nik1988 in reply to Hk12]

Yes my levels were checked before had and they said was ok. I’ve asked for numbers as I have too heard they need to be above 30. If it comes back they wasn’t then I will consult them. Xx

[Linda84Co]

Hi dear, these two weeks are honestly the hardest time of our life..Testing early even when is a positive it’s not a sure thing as you know, I tested early as I had chemical before and wanted to see if my line is improving at all.. at the end of the day we all do our best and with IVF it’s a number game.. it’s so cruel dear after all the negative pregnancy test, miscarriages and chemical, I know how you feel...but still you need to continue the medication and check again in a few days. Sending you love xx

[Nik1988 in reply to Linda84Co]

Thank you x

[kc21]

So sorry x it’s a roller coaster of emotions x