The best 6 months with my little mira... - Fertility Network UK

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The best 6 months with my little miracle... sharing a positive update 💕

CharleyMills89 profile image
37 Replies

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Gosh time is going fast, I can’t believe my little boy is 6 months old nearly 7!! Time seemed to go quite slow for a while and now it’s going quick. I love seeing him develop and grow, but at the same time I want him to stay little and at the age he’s at for a while longer.

He’s such a happy baby, always smiling and content, he’s starting to try sit up and getting stronger, when ever he sees me and daddy he has a beaming smile, it melts my heart.

Into everything and is trying to crawl/shuffle. Starting to wean him now too, giving him porridge for breakfast at the moment which he seems to like, I’m quite anxious about this stage, not knowing what to try him with and at what time, it’s such a big change for babies to have different textures and tastes. I just want to make sure he’s having all he needs

Sharing my story to raise awareness, giving hope to those who feel having a baby may never happen. Stay strong and keep going.

💕💛

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CharleyMills89 profile image
CharleyMills89
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37 Replies
Niki_B profile image
Niki_B

You are on the wrong forum. These lovely ladies are trying desperately to get pregnant, some for years and years and this post might be upsetting for them. The NCT forum would be more appropriate for your post 😊 x

healthunlocked.com/nct

CharleyMills89 profile image
CharleyMills89 in reply toNiki_B

I’m not on the wrong forum, if you read my previous posts you will see my story, I too was desperately trying for a baby going through IVF treatment to have my little boy.

I come on this forum to give an update on things and give hope and positive stories to those who feel it may never happen for them. It’s a hard journey but I look to raise awareness and show that it does happen, you can get your miracle, never give up. Sharing positive vibes and stay strong x

Niki_B profile image
Niki_B in reply toCharleyMills89

Giving updates during your pregnancy and once baby arrives is fine as it does give ladies hope, but I dont think posting about his developmental stages and what hes eating for breakfast etc etc is appropriate for this page. And I'm sure all the other ladies will agree judging by the amount of likes I've had to my reply saying this is the wrong forum for this. It's just a bit insensitive.

CharleyMills89 profile image
CharleyMills89 in reply toNiki_B

Just be kind... in a world where you can be anything, be kind and happy. No negativity ❤️

Niki_B profile image
Niki_B in reply toCharleyMills89

Exactly the point I'm trying to get across. Be kind ❤

lizzybee81 profile image
lizzybee81 in reply toCharleyMills89

I don’t think Niki is being unkind. It’s fantastic to see that you’ve had the success that we’re all desperately hoping for, that’s light at the end of the tunnel is a beacon for a lot of ladies here. Speaking of his development worries & anxieties you would naturally have however feels a little inappropriate & insensitive in this forum when many of us would frankly give pretty much anything to have the worries that you have. Please read the room, enjoy your child & respect the dignity & situations that the women for whom this forum was designed for are in.

Niki_B profile image
Niki_B in reply tolizzybee81

Well said ❤ I cant believe how insensitive this post is and that she has not taken it down. Very selfish. I hope not too many ladies will be upset seeing this...but let's be real, of course they will be! 😞

CharleyMills89 profile image
CharleyMills89 in reply toNiki_B

It’s not insensitive and I’m not a selfish person at all. Think before you troll someone for posting something positive and uplifting that’s of comfort to a lot of people in dark times.

I wish you all the best in your pregnancy and getting your miracle baby 💕❤️

CharleyMills89 profile image
CharleyMills89 in reply tolizzybee81

Thank you.

I don’t want negativity on a positive uplifting post, so if in future you don’t like something you see, just scroll past and don’t comment.

Fertilityjourney profile image
Fertilityjourney

Congratulations on your baby - he is gorgeous! I love reading the success stories and positive messages on here. Xx

Cmc2020 profile image
Cmc2020

Congrats this gives me HOPE 💚and I have been ttc for years and don’t find this post bad at all you see loads of woman with there updates p.s he is gorgeous xx

CharleyMills89 profile image
CharleyMills89

It was positive from the start and still is ❤️, it’s just a shame that others can be so rude about something sadly.

BECIO profile image
BECIO

I enjoyed reading your post and gives me hope! But I do understand how hard it can be for others, but I really love reading positive stories of hope xx

Knittingababy profile image
Knittingababy

Congratulations. I am about to go into my clinic for egg collection and just read about your journey and it's really lifted me up. Made me quite emotional. It's a really hard journey to be on, sorry if others were upset but I just loved reading your post. Xx

CharleyMills89 profile image
CharleyMills89 in reply toKnittingababy

Ahh wow good luck with egg collection, hope you get lots! 😀🤞🏻.

That’s all I want to do, to show others who long to become a parent, that it can happen and you will get there. Never give up hope, there’s always hope and faith.

I found myself having the worst days and saying it’ll never happen to me, I’ll never be a Mummy. Took us 3 years of waiting for a good donor and having set backs in treatment to finally having our son.

I still have good and bad days, but I don’t want to upset people. I just hope my story and posts can inspire others and give them the strength they need to carry on.

Feel sad that people see it as a bad thing and get nasty comments.

Hartley1 profile image
Hartley1

Congrats Charley I'm so glad it worked out well for you. He is adorable...it's nice to read positive stories... Xx

DianeArnold profile image
DianeArnoldPartnerNurseFertility Network UK

Hi. My feelings follow on from the majority of others who have replied to this post. Lovely to hear of the safe arrival of your son, but this site is not really about discussing a child’s development. Of course you can still support others, but from “trying to conceive” point of view. Lots of adventures lie ahead for you, Charley. Diane

CharleyMills89 profile image
CharleyMills89 in reply toDianeArnold

This site is to encourage and share success, so I shall continue to do so. And if my posts help others then I’m all for it. I won’t be bullied by trolls who think it’s okay to post horrible comments and tell me what I should and shouldn’t post

Sad how people can’t see how positive others are and take things the wrong way.

lizzybee81 profile image
lizzybee81 in reply toDianeArnold

Thank you Diane. I’ve been especially upset at the lack of awareness & calling responses trolling & nasty all under the guise of positivity & kindness.

It’s a little like returning to a forum for support for the homeless talking about how worried you are about your new kitchen extension. You have a home now great, we're thrilled for you but please keep the “issues” with it to yourself we don’t know where we’re sleeping tonight!

kitscat profile image
kitscat in reply tolizzybee81

Great analogy! X

CharleyMills89 profile image
CharleyMills89 in reply tolizzybee81

This post is of positivity and kindness. I don’t understand why people are being so horrible 😞.

Raising awareness and helping others is all I wish to do, I wanted to make a post that might just help one person not feel so alone, but others have taken offence which is a shame.

If anyone is struggling then I really do hope you find light at the end of the tunnel ❤️.

Ladypii profile image
Ladypii in reply toCharleyMills89

Please don’t be upset Charley. Everyone here is really happy you have your miracle and we do love to hear success stories and your previous posts have been just that so it’s fine to keep doing that.

your original post didn’t mention anything about raising awareness or giving hope or your ivf journey. Your original post literally just mentioned how great things are but also how anxious you were about weaning and also asked others about weaning. As you can imagine some extremely unfortunate women on here are dealing with their second or third miscarriage, they don’t know anything about weaning yet so really it was a question for the NCT forum. I can see from your previous posts that you too in the past hated being around children and pregnant women when you were at the worst of it. So it’s possible some women may have been triggered by your original post.

We all love and support each other here and there is no bullying.

We love you and we’re really happy you have come back to the forum to share your success and it definitely does give people hope. It just needs to be in a way that might not trigger.

Wishing you and your family all the best xxx

CharleyMills89 profile image
CharleyMills89 in reply toLadypii

Some have judged too fast on something and not taken a breath to see the bigger picture. My intentions are for the best.

in reply toCharleyMills89

I dont think people are being horrible, I think they are asking for your help not to upset them. I think your motivations are great trying to inspire people, and you are really kind hearted to do so, but having lost at least 4 babies and gone through 5 failed rounds of IVF, and as a person who has watched people come and go from this forum getting pregnant and having babies, including yourself, whilst I still struggle and face a life without children it is very difficult to read the smaller details like weaning, and crawling etc because its makes it all so real and its very painful.

I love celebrating the BFPs and the births, whilst it hurts its a great celebration moment, but this post was so real and so descriptive it made me quite sad. As I say I think you are really kind to be thinking of inspiring others, maybe a little less detail next time. But I am really thrilled for you that you are enjoying motherhood, you are so lucky to have got that chance xx

AllWeNeedIsluv profile image
AllWeNeedIsluv

Definitely a post for NCT or Babys and Us.

Awareness isn't talking about your 6 month (absolutely gorgeous) sons development. I can totally understand why your so happy to share your story and the fact you've managed to get your dream baby. But for me and i think for many others we stop posting at the birth announcement, maybe 1st birthday but that's it. We move onto NCT or Babys and Us. Unless we are ttc again or replying to others that are still ttc. I can see you've been giving regular updates on your son. Again he's absolutely gorgeous. I don't think your being trolled i think people have just tried to make you understand how insensitive posts like this can be on such a forum.

This forum is about sharing experiences of ttc particularly for those struggling ttc and support for those going through the difficulties of it. Its for encouragement to get through the milestones of ivf the scans the illnesses that can come with pregnancy but not for discussing the amazing development of babies. I'm sorry you feel you've been trolled i just think you didn't mean to course upset and wanted to share hope, but this post went a bit too far as far as discussing your sons development!! You have to think of the couples/ladies that have been here for years and all they want is a bfp and safe pregnancy. Seeing a 6 month old child development really isn't helpful. Your birth post would have been and a little update. Not frequent detailed ones. If that's what you want to do NCT and babys and us. Would love to see these.

Wishing you and your family all the best

P.s when admin say what this forum is for in a response to your post. I think you should take it on board then if not from the members. Definitely from our lovely Diane 😘💗

in reply toAllWeNeedIsluv

I think that’s beautifully put & fair as you’ve covered everyone’s point of view. A while ago we as a group decided to post milestone moments- BFPs ✅ scans ✅ birth announcements ✅ and miscarriages ✅ I think that is why babys & us was created by a member on fertility network - there was a gap in forums for support post success & wasn’t appropriate to post on fertility network & sometimes NCT didn’t feel other mums understood the journey we had been on to get pregnant. I think we have to be mindful of the feelings of others- some might find these posts uplifting others might be struggling & find these posts hard to see. Success stories are important as hope is needed but we have to be understanding of others that are still struggling & find pregnant women & babies hard to see. xxx

AllWeNeedIsluv profile image
AllWeNeedIsluv in reply to

Think Babys and Us is a brilliant idea because lots of us know each others journey too, this forum is amazing and we do feel like an online family, i completely get why Charley would love to share updates she would have also got that family feeling we all get from being on here, we just need to know where the boundaries are. As it could put women off being on here that find it too much to even imagine how the worries of been a mum actually are. I think creating Baby's and us. Was a brilliant idea!! 😘💗

in reply toAllWeNeedIsluv

Of course it was done with the best of intentions of giving others hope & of course she didn’t want to upset anyone. Equally I don’t think others were trying to attack her either. I can see it from both sides. It is a supportive group here & ive formed close friendships people here have understood my journey better than friends or family ever could have done. Babys & us is a brilliant idea & it’s been great to interact with others that you’ve bonded with on this site. xxx

AllWeNeedIsluv profile image
AllWeNeedIsluv in reply to

I agree completely. Just this forum isn't the place for posts like this, as our lovely Diane confirmed!! Babys and us, seems like the place to be. 😘💗

Rain415 profile image
Rain415

You seem very happy and that’s wonderful but we are still in the dark you are fortunately past it. You talk about spreading positivity but if I saw my post having a negative impact on more people than positive I would take it down even if I didn’t agree with it.

CharleyMills89 profile image
CharleyMills89 in reply toRain415

I’m not past infertility... just because I have a baby now doesn’t mean I’m over it.

I’m still on hrt to help with my menopause symptoms , I still suffer a lot. I still relive being told by a consultant that I may never have children. Just because I have a success story of ivf and pregnancy doesn’t mean it’s not still with me.

I just don’t share that too much as I want to be positive and happy, not dragging others down. We should all lift one another up.

This has become so ridiculous, all over a nice bit of success. And people have turned it into something it really isn’t.

Rain415 profile image
Rain415 in reply toCharleyMills89

I’m sorry to hear that and I hope it settles soon.

Lyly2211 profile image
Lyly2211

For everyone here, I am still trying and haven’t succeeded in years but I don’t understand how we can’t be happy for others?? Do you really wish what you’ve been going through to other people? Accepting what’s going on and being truly happy for other people is something important to work on if you ask me. The girl is trying to tell us look, before my worry was that I’d never be a mother and now I’m worrying about mommy stuff, don’t give up hope and you make her feel bad? I understand we all wish we can also have those worries but don’t need to shit on people who’s dream came true. You will forever be faced with mother’s who have children, mothers who speak about concerns with their children, pregnant women ... it’s just part of life. It’s ok that it hurts you but you don’t have to hurt others

CharleyMills89 profile image
CharleyMills89 in reply toLyly2211

Thank you 💕

Unfortunately some people are too quick to judge and don’t see the good in others actions. Think some have been rude and just not looked at previous things to see where I am coming from.

We should all be happy for one another, in the world we currently live in with a virus and pandemic, something like this shouldn’t cause a debate, making so many have a go at some one for a simple update to help others.

Congratulations, he is absolutely beautiful. Nct side too me isn't really that good although, there is some lovely people on there. It just wouldn't be apprioate for some people who have fertility problems in the past. You get some of the women on there going on about falling pregnant accidently and now want advice on having a abortion when it's supposed to be about childcare. Personally I don't find this post insensitive as you state that he is a miracle baby. If you had put a post up and said that you fell pregnant naturally, no fertility problems it would have been insensitive. But, people just view things differently I suppose.

in reply to

Might be idea for this site to say they want a maximum age for miracle babies pictures to be shown, that might suit some.

in reply to

There is a site that follows on from successful fertility treatment - babys & us. Lots of ladies from here are on there. It’s more suitable than NCT xxx

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