DevastatedšŸ˜¢ 5th Fresh Cycle is a bust. - Fertility Network UK

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DevastatedšŸ˜¢ 5th Fresh Cycle is a bust.

Westielover16 profile image
ā€¢16 Replies

So our clinic has you test on 9dp5dt and 11dp5dt and recommend using the first response early response tests. Unfortunately both were negative for us on Monday and this morning.

We are lucky to have one frostie from this cycle but feeling absolutely devastated by this one not working.

This forum has been such a support as I feel very isolated by our infertility. Everyone we know has kids and no real struggles in getting their families so can feel really hard to open up to my usual support systems about these things. So happy to have this as a way to have some outlet on shit days like today.

Xx

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Westielover16 profile image
Westielover16
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RhinoCat profile image
RhinoCat

Shit day indeed ā˜¹ļøšŸ˜« itā€™s such a tough journey to get to these days and then it feels like ya get kicked in the balls. Take time to cry out the pain then you will be able to dust yourself off better and carry on. This journey sucks major ass, love and hugs of understanding šŸ˜˜šŸ˜˜šŸ˜˜šŸ’–šŸ’–šŸ’–šŸ’–šŸ’šŸ’šŸ’šŸ’šŸ’

Westielover16 profile image
Westielover16 in reply to RhinoCat

Thanks for your message. Spent most of the past 3 days in tears but will get better with time I know. Hubby is being great and super supportive even though he is heartbroken too.

Our plan B is adopting so looking into this more in the past few days has helped. We canā€™t start the process officially until our treatment finishes and we have at least a 6 month break, but just knowing that somehow we can be a family in our future helps.

Thanks again for your support! Xx

DianeArnold profile image
DianeArnoldPartnerNurseFertility Network UK

Hi Westielover. So, so sorry to hear that this cycle has not been the one for you. It is upsetting that your friends are having their babies now, but perhaps yours is the one waiting to be transferred back where he/she belongs. Be kind to yourself and when you feel ready you can have your little frostie transferred, probably on a natural cycle. Thinking of you. Diane

Westielover16 profile image
Westielover16 in reply to DianeArnold

Thanks for your message. Yes trying to focus that we are so lucky to have been able to get a frostie this last cycle. Thinking about this and a possibility of adopting as a plan B has been helping.

Thanks again for your support. Xx

Picalilli99 profile image
Picalilli99

So sorry that you did not have success this cycle. I understand how devastating and exhausting repeated failed cycles are (we also have 5 failed fresh cycles under our belt). I just wanted to send hugs and wish you the best of luck with your little frostie, for whenever you feel ready to go again. Take care lovely xxx

Westielover16 profile image
Westielover16 in reply to Picalilli99

Hi! Thanks for your message and Iā€™m sorry to hear you are in a similar situation. Xx

Cinderella5 profile image
Cinderella5

Im so sorry you've had to go through another failed transfer, its so exhausting isnt it?! Im hoping you are starting to feel a little better today and are coming to terms with it. Hope you have something nice to treat yourselves to until you feel ready to try again. Hugs.xx

Westielover16 profile image
Westielover16 in reply to Cinderella5

Thanks for your message and support. It has been really upsetting as I just felt it might work more this time. No particular reason just was really trying to be more positive. So the let down has been really hard. Allowing myself to cry and treat myself and from past experience I do know it lessens in intensity with time. We are also talking more seriously about adopting as our plan B and this is helping some to imagine the future of a family one day. Xx

I am so sorry this round didnt work. I am about to embark on round 5 (always fresh) and know how exhausting it is. Whilst we dont have the optimism and naivety we have at the beginning I think just the process of going through a cycle means that we have a chance and so its alway crushing when it doesnt work.

If its any consolation, hardly anyone I know knows about our infertility and struggle to have a family. They all think we have chosen not to have children - the assumption they have made I have never indicated that - I am at the point now where I am fit to burst and do some sort of public announcement because (I know this sounds bonkers and so me me me but..) I really feel like people should know what a ruddy wonderful person I have been congratulating them, getting daily photos and videos and updates, babysitting, sitting through all the 'you look so good with children' type comments.. all the time absolutely dying inside. I probably never will but a lot of us feel very much the same

Sending you a massive hug xx

Westielover16 profile image
Westielover16 in reply to

Thanks for your message and Iā€™m sorry to hear you are in a similar situation. It is really just shit all around!!

Completely understand about at times struggling with keeping on the happy face for others and feeling like you want to shout. Am there completely this week. Had to go shopping yesterday and nearly had a rage/meltdown in the middle of Sainsburyā€™s!! šŸ˜¢šŸ¤¬šŸ¤ÆšŸ˜±

Sending you loads of positive thoughts and hope for your next round xx

Shirazlover2013 profile image
Shirazlover2013

Hi westielover, Iā€™m gutted for you too, it is total shit what youā€™re having to go through. I can see from the other supporters above that youā€™re not alone in the multiple failure club, Iā€™m also a member šŸ˜. Thereā€™s no real consolation I can offer, youā€™ve been here before and know what soothes your broken heart the best in these situations. When youā€™re ready youā€™ve got that precious frostie ready to go which is a blessing. Take care and sending lots of love your way xxoo

Westielover16 profile image
Westielover16 in reply to Shirazlover2013

Thanks for your message and positivity!

Yes treating myself and allowing the tears and emotions to flow!

Trying to stay positive and hopeful for our frostie. This is only the second time weā€™ve had one and our only FET was our only BFP but unfortunately ended in a miscarriage at just shy of 6 weeks. Trying to stay focused on that past BFP and to keep the hope alive for that last little one.

Also looking into adopting as a plan B for us either if the frostie doesnā€™t work or for future siblings. This is keeping me busy and helps me stay focused on my overall goal just to become a mum and to complete our family.

Thanks again for your support xx

Peanutchips profile image
Peanutchips

Iā€™m so so sorry that youā€™re going through this. Itā€™s exhausting. Take the time you need to grieve and rest. Who knows, maybe your little one is currently sitting in the freezer waiting for you. Donā€™t give up hope just yet. Sending love xxx šŸ’•

Westielover16 profile image
Westielover16 in reply to Peanutchips

Thanks for your message and positivity. Yes trying to stay focused that our frostie could be a good one. Our only ever BFP was from our first FET. Unfortunately we lost that one in a miscarriage at just shy of six weeks but does at least fill me with some hope a FET might be a better way for us.

Xx

Uffculmedolly profile image
Uffculmedolly

Hi Westielover. So sorry to hear that this cycle has not been the one. Be kind to yourself and stay strong! Donā€™t give up, sending lots of hugs x

Westielover16 profile image
Westielover16 in reply to Uffculmedolly

Thanks for your message and positivity! Doing better after a few days for the disappointment to have settled. Just trying to keep busy and give ourselves some space to process it all. Xx

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