What did you do differently?

[Xtina1234]

Hi all, happy Christmas Eve to you! 🎄

After the heartbreak this year of two failed fresh ivf transfers (1 that ended in a chemical pregnancy 😔) I’m trying to be grateful for what we have, enjoying Christmas and gearing up for the new year and a frozen cycle. I just wondered if there were any tips you could share of things anyone did differently third time round and differences in frozen to fresh cycles?

Any info gratefully received! Much love & best wishes to you all 💕💕

[HollyT7]

I tried acupuncture the day before my frozen transfer and I felt SO relaxed when I can out. For me, it felt like I was actively doing something to help. We also had the glue. If either helped or not is another story, but we will try anything right? My food intake wasnt the best and we ate takeaways too, so maybe just being more relaxed helped. I hope that the new year brings some amazing things your way xxx

[Xtina1234 in reply to HollyT7]

Thank you for your message Holly. I do acupuncture and find it wonderful! You are right maybe not being so up tight about it all is the way forward! Best wishes for you and your pregnancy xx

[C_C_H]

Hello! I ve also have 2 failed rounds although both were frozen so this time I am trying a fresh. Just doing a frozen may help you as your body has more time to recover from egg collection. I have asked for progesterone injections as well as pessaries and I am also going to use embryo glue! Good luck for round 3 🤞

[Xtina1234 in reply to C_C_H]

I think I will be on injections and pessaries this time too. 🤞🏻 Good luck to you too!! 😘 x

[Duardo19]

Happy Christmas Eve to you too.

So sorry to hear you've had a hard year, it's a tough journey and the only thing that gets me through is trying to see the good that life still has to offer and find things to be grateful for.

I was so obsessed with my 2 fresh cycles, I recorded and googled every single tiny symptom and feeling every single day, to the point where I was probably just imagining some of them. I was really stressed and couldn't focus on anything else.

I stopped drinking 4 months before with both and took all the supplements (vit D, folic acid, CoQ10 etc)

My first fresh transfer ended in an ectopic at 6 weeks 5 days (right tube removal) and my second with a BFN.

I decided with my FET that I wanted unmedicated and that I was going to ignore any symptoms I thought I had. No diaries. Just take each day as it came and plan things to keep me occupied. I also had 2 sessions of fertility massage which I thought was great. The first session involved some talking and I realised how scared I was and how much I had been holding in. My massage therapist also recommended castor oil packs and Bach's Star of Bethlehem.

I am 8 weeks pregnant today, I saw a heartbeat in the right place at 6 weeks 1 day. I'm taking each day as it comes and counting each day that I'm pregnant as a step closer to holding my baby. I'm still scared something will go wrong but trying really hard to be positive. I honestly feel that taking time to tackle the emotional side of this journey was what got me this far.

I wish you all the luck in the world for your transfer in 2020 xx

[Xtina1234 in reply to Duardo19]

Thank you so much for your kind words. You are so right that you can get so involved and stressed by this process. Well done for managing to take a step back and it’s clearly been rewarded! Huge luck & best wishes for your pregnancy xx

[Duardo19 in reply to Xtina1234]

Please keep us posted on your next steps. I will have everything crossed for you xx

[Chegotsi in reply to Duardo19]

Hi Duardo19,

Congrats on the BFP, your positivity is actually inspiring I want to be more like that. I am planning for last cycle under NHS after two failed attempts in 2019. I wondered if you could advise, where do I get a fertility massage from? Also I am using a local Chinese acupuncture place (the 2 ladies aren’t that great at speaking English lol) have seen two different ladies and they do diff things during the session so I am confused. I don’t know if they know I want acupuncture for fertility. I don’t even know if it’s working - I feel relaxed after I guess but the second lady’s process actually hurts. I wondered if you could advise.

[Duardo19 in reply to Chegotsi]

Hi Samosa,

Thank you for your message. I'm so sorry you've had a hard time in 2019, this process really sucks. I honestly never imagined receiving a message about my positivity, I'm so pleased that my story may have inspired you.

I was recommended the following site, which gives details of all the therapists within your area wherever you are based: fertilitymassage.co.uk

I didn't have accupuncture myself, but I would advise it is important that you know the exact treatments you are receiving so that you can decide whether it's right for you? From what I have seen on here and heard from others, I'm not sure it is supposed to hurt?

This whole journey is a complete minefield, which puts so much pressure on us as women, mentally, physically and emotionally. In my first 2 cycles I was so scared that I might have missed something, or not done something I was supposed to and the stress was immense. It also didn't lead the outcome I wanted.

I have no idea what got me my BFP in the end but I know that I felt a lot better about myself and regardless of the outcome, that's got to count for something right?

I wish you all the luck with your next cycle and really hope you get the outcome you deserve xx

[Sarz86]

Hello, my first two transfers failed and they were both frozen transfers (both from cycle 1) as our first fresh cycle ended up as a freeze all.

We then had a few months break from treatment, needed it to recover mentally and physically.

In July this year we did our second fresh cycle and I had my first fresh transfer from this cycle (day 5 blastocyst) and this was successful I’m now 24 weeks pregnant, still pinching ourselves. We also have some good Frosties from this cycle luckily.

I did have acupuncture during this second cycle and had it just before my transfer. Unsure if this had any impact but it did relax me and I felt in a more positive place mentally this time around.

This Journey really is tough and I remember feeling hopeless after our failed transfers, but I’m so glad we didn’t give up and tried again.

I wish you every bit of luck with your journey in 2020 💞 xx

[Xtina1234 in reply to Sarz86]

Thank you for your response. What a difficult time you have had also. So delighted to hear it’s worth keeping going and staying strong. Congratulations for your pregnancy xx

[Sarz86 in reply to Xtina1234]

Thank you so much. Sending you lots of luck on your journey ❤️ Xx

[Ericadawn]

I’m so sorry to hear your story. It sounds like it’s been so tough for you. The whole ivf cycle really seems to be never ending and creates a big strain on your body physically and mentally.

I’m a great believer in anything alternative that will help. My friend put me in touch with the most amazing lady who does energy work. She did womb reiki and massage but it wasn’t your typical reiki and the sessions were expensive. If you are near Manchester, I could give you her details if you’d like. I had a couple of sessions before the whole process started. She then put me in touch with the most amazing acupuncturist who specialises in fertility. I’ve had acupuncture before but his sessions on on another scale. He has had amazing results with getting women pregnant, most who have struggled to get pregnant for years and were told they’d never be able to conceive. He’s not cheap, but honestly I think he’s worth it. He has great advice (especially nags me to keep my body and especially feet warm which I’ve heard before and ‘no chocolate!!’) and is very reassuring, informing me how my pulse is and that it’s a good pregnancy pulse.

I’m 8 weeks pregnant after our first fresh transfer and can’t quite believe it. I know it’s early days though so still worry and, like other ladies in this forum, I don’t think this will go away until we have a live birth.

I really hope this helps you and are successful the next time round xx

[Xtina1234 in reply to Ericadawn]

Thank you for your kind words. It’s really been a tough 2019 and I can’t wait to leave it behind!

I live in Leeds so would be interested in getting the energy ladies details please. I have been doing acupuncture and love it.

Huge congratulations and luck for your pregnancy xx

[GPmum]

Hi, merry Xmas to you and your family and hope for a joyful New Year for you to have your dream come true.

I had 2 implantation failures in Jun and Oct this year, both fresh. This time with FET in Nov end, what I did differently to have the BFP:

- To improve my eggs quality (I'm already 42 n some months by end of Nov and altho we need ICSI due to male factor, my age isn't on our side for the eggs quality) since Jul beginning except during the 2ww, I really follow the supplements and diet advice from 2 books: "It Starts with the Eggs" and "IVF Diet" and a general book about fertility by Zita West, an IVF clinic in London

- During the 2ww, I only followed supplements advice from the book "It Starts..." and nothing else. Also after the BFP, except I add iodine and eating 3 Brazil nuts a day due to my Hashimoto and aspirin 100mg a day due to having a type of anti nuclear antibody.

- Being behind hubby to always take his supplements too to improve his sperms quality also from Jul beginning. He also had some tests and consultation with urologist to know which supplements are the best.

- I have acupuncture on weekly basis I think about 1.5 months before and about 2 hours before the FET with a GP who learned acupuncture in China but after FET I did it from 5dpt (cos she suspects the implantation will start from 6dpt) also on weekly basis with TCM acupuncturist who treated women undergoing IVF.

- Had complementary therapies as suggested in Zita's book about 2 months before FET to prepare my body e.g. chiro, osteo, hypnotherapy (found videos on youtube n had a session with a hypnotherapist), fertility yoga (also youtube), reflexology, fertility massage (self and with a masseuse), lymphatic drainage (self by following youtube and with a therapist), bowen therapy, walk at least 1 hour a day, consultation with homeopathy practitioner who happens to be a GP and a TCM who would do e.g. hot stone therapy on my belly.

- Be my own advocate to ask for a very comprehensive blood test as suggested by Zita's book to investigate why the 2x implantation failures and the suspicion is on autoimmune disorder (e.g. existence of anti phospholipid n anti cardiolipid antibodies, MTHFR mutation, over abundance of NK (natural killer) cells) of my body and it's true that it's found that I have Hashimoto (that my RE blissfully ignored even tho it showed from blood test back in Feb!) and a type of an anti nuclear antibody (that my RE never asked to test!) so I took thyroid hormone (from an endocrinologist) coupled with some herbal supplements for Hashimoto about 2 weeks from FET day. But before, we also had some tests to eliminate potential culprit of previous implantation failures e.g. genetic blood test, MRI to see if my uterine fibroids can be blocking points, sperm DNA fragmentation.

- Because of the above, I also asked a GP to prescribe me a very low dose cortisosteroids and she did for Medrol 4mg daily from 4 days before FET till 7 days after BFP (the stopping was actually the advice of my 2nd RE).

- Be careful about handling my guinea pigs even tho it seems they're not carriers of any virus such as LCM virus that can be deadly for embryos.

- Followed the advice from the book "It Starts..." about eliminating or reducing greatly household toxin, so I use only bio cleaning products since Jul beginning.

- Asking for progesterone injection than suppositories.

- Having my 2nd RE prescribing me to check my LH, progesterone, and estradiol every 2 days after my 1st beta to check if the pregnancy is viable and if I need more estrogen and/or progesterone and I was told to up my progesterone.

- Keeping my feet and belly warm during 2ww and after BFP. Also mainly eating and drinking warm in these periods.

- Avoid anything electric and hot contact to my body e.g. electric blanket, hot bath, etc. and heavy lifting and raw food during 2ww and after BFP.

- Doing dry brush on my body on daily basis even till now to improve blood flow to the uterus.

- Having a TCM to give me Chinese herbs (she gave me Huang Gi, Dong Quai and a Chinese tea) to improve blood flow to my uterus in the month leading to FET and also to remove or reduce my uterine fibroids. We must stop these n what I did 1 day before FET.

- Having relaxations to reduce my anxiety so like hot bath (before FET), acupuncture, back massage (before FET), meditation/hypnotherapy etc.

- If there's anything I forgot to mention, I mainly really just followed the advice from these 3 books I mentioned above so it's really a small investment to make to buy them (can find them in Amazon).

Good luck!

[Xtina1234 in reply to GPmum]

Happy Christmas to you too! Thank you for your detailed message and lots of tips, super helpful! Congratulations on your BFP!

I will definitely get those books as they sound interesting 😊 Thanks again xx

[GPmum in reply to Xtina1234]

thank you xtina, I'm glad to be able to help even tho it's a small thing. what I did sound a lot and maybe some aren't useful but since I really wanted and kind of needed to make this 3rd transfer work, I thought if they're put in the books of Zita, they must do some good!

I once was giving even less detailed advice to a Thai lady who's younger than me but was struggling to get some explanation about her 3/4x implantation failures or very early MC.

But unfortunately her RE (we're in the same clinic tho) never gave her explanation nor even suggested tests to be done to investigate (same fate as me actually thus what I said in my tip to be our own advocate).

It's just that unfortunately it seems her English isn't good enough to understand what I said/wrote and I unfortunately don't know how to say it in Thai(!) and it seems also she (and maybe her bf too) doesn't/don't want to be bothered to do all of the work that I told her I did (even tho I didn't list all what I did in fact as I was just getting my BFP and I didn't want to overload her as soon as I noticed she asked me same question 2/3x(!)).

So then I just gave up after I discovered that about 4 weeks after I told her the tips, she apparently didn't even get to do the very basic that's going to the GP that's very near to where she lives to have prescription of a very comprehensive blood tests so that elimination can be done (e.g. whether she has blood clotting issue and/or autoimmune disorder etc.) cos they're too busy going to wine tasting parties.

I understand that she's not in a hurry since she's younger than me but as she still has I think 2 frozen embryos in our clinic, she wouldn't be able to transfer her dossier to an IVF clinic in a neighbouring country that's also more experienced in IVF (I was also going to transfer my dossier if the 3rd transfer failed).

Plus, the way she put it that when the transfer of the last frozen embryo(s) fail(s) also, they'll just give up which means she won't give the chance to undergo the treatment in the better clinic, which is just a shame really in my honest opinion

When I discussed about this outcome with a friend who's still in her IVF journey, she made me realise, we can't unfortunately save everybody and especially those who aren't willing to do the work and I suppose this is the case

So I'm very happy that your reaction is the opposite of hers and I wish you all the luck so that your dream will come true next year!

[JulieOcean2]

The only thing we had different during the procedure on our third transfer was we had the embryo glue.

I didn’t let myself get my hopes up that transfer either so I wasn’t at all strict with what I ate and drank before it.. I even went on a night out the Saturday before but that definately made me ALOT less stressed.

Crossing my fingers your third round works xx

[Xtina1234 in reply to JulieOcean2]

Thank you for your response and best wishes Julie, most appreciated. LOVE hearing about your night out! Sometimes it’s best just to relax and not get so into this process; it’s hard enough right?! X

[JulieOcean2 in reply to Xtina1234]

I was so strict with my first 2 transfers trying to make everything perfect and that definitely didn’t help my stress levels. Third transfer felt completely different! Xx