Fertility Network UK
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quick story to hopefully make you all smile :)

Hi All

I so have to tell you this story - I have been giggling (in a nice way) at this all evening!

So we had our first appointment 2 weeks ago and we are booked in for SSR (surgical sperm retrieval) on the 3rd March as my DH had a vasectomy 19 years ago. He is convinced that they will not find any sperm and voiced this concern to the urologist who explained that they will perform PESA first then if that is not successful they move onto TESA (I think it was)......

So the letter came through advising we are booked in for PESA on the 3rd March but on the 9th Feb we have to go to sign more consent forms then we have appointment at the pre assessment unit the same day - ohh and we have to pay £xxxx that day too.

I showed it DH yesterday then filed it ......

He came home from work this evening really pale - I asked him if his MAN FLU had come back - he said no.

I gave him his tea (he was not hungry?) so we took the dogs out for a walk - he was really, really quiet.

I asked him if he had had a bad day at work - he said no.

We were watching Eastenders when he finally came clean.

He has only googled then U-TUBED both procedures then proceeded to show me both on his IPAD, no wonder he looked so pale!!!!

I have laughed inside as he looked SO serious and SO worried - my poor love, I never thought about how worried he was. He's never had children (neither have I) and thinks they will tell him there is something wrong downstairs so has been silently googling all these terms I have been giving him.

I have explained that once he has had the SSR then its all on me (hopefully they find some sperm) but at the moment he feels like its all on him.

So ladies - word of caution here amongst the giggles, remember its as much about the man as it is the woman and honestly I did not realise that a man watching a syringe going into a ball could make a man so ill :) :) :)

Holly x

4 Replies

I really hope my husband doesn't google it before his surgery!!


Hi! I absolutely agree here with you. Sometimes we do not think much about our partner's worries judging only ours to be the main and the most important. Well it all differs on the kind of a treatment anyway. In your case this is really hard to go through the surgery first. In our case that was DE ivf, no serious surgical invasions for my husband. But still he felt so sad and anxious as he knew everything was on me. I was the one to be put on pills, scans, tests etc. And it got on him really as he was unable to help me anyway. He was just to watch that all and trying to keep a clam face say: "Honey, I'm here with you. Everything's gonna be alright." I think this is not easy for a loving partner/husband to watch all these things. But we have just to survive all of them to be happy one day.

Of course we should be more attentive to our halves. They are in the case as well. if only we could imagine their fears with the procedures as very often they really seem to be emotionally weaker than women going into panic like a flashlight)

May everything be ok for you and for everybody here! xx


Hope he gets on ok. Mine had it done, he was soooo worried but he was fine


Hi nelly

Thank you for getting back to me. Can I ask did it work? Did you manage to get sperm?

H x


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