How to do this alone.

[Joycemluc]

On February 6th, the day after my 60th birthday, my husband suddenly passed away. We spent a wonderful day celebrating my birthday, ending with a lovely dinner out. We got home in time to watch our president make the State of the Union Address. Just before it ended, he told me he had an upset stomach and asked if I minded if he went down stairs and sat in his chair. We had early plans in the morning to drive down to my girls where my sister and youngest daughter were flying in to celebrate my birthday. Of course I encouraged he go rest. He headed down to his chair and I almost immediately fell asleep. I woke up early, took a bath and started packing. I figured he must have fallen asleep in his chair and would let him sleep a little longer. After about an hour when I didn't hear him moving about I called downstairs. No answer. I continued to pack and after a while decided to go down and check on him. I could see his face as I came down the stairs. I yelled out for him, but got no response. I walked up to his chair and could see that he was gone. From what I could tell he'd been gone for most of the night. I couldn't locate his phone, so I went upstairs to get my phone and call 911. 911 answered, but then the call dropped. I was unable to get a call out. I had to text my sister and my daughters and ask them to call 911. The rest of the day was pretty much a blur. My dear husband has been my primary caretaker since I was diagnosed with stage 4 Cirrhosis a year ago. I now this sounds selfish, but I just don't know how I can do with without him. Not just dealing with my disease, but every aspect of my life. I feel completely empty, although I am staying at my duaghter's home right now. It's not the same thing though. He was my best friend, my confident, and my love.

Thank you for listening to me. I'm really struggling right now and just don't know how to cope.

XO Joyce

[Chickaroonie]

Such a sad situation. You have my most sincere sympathy on the loss of your husband. Your feelings are important and should not be hidden. Reach out to grief support. Your family will bolster you but cannot replace what you had with him. Take care and face each day knowing you are not alone. Hugs.

[Joycemluc in reply to Chickaroonie]

Thank you 🙏🏻

[G1nny]

I’m so sorry. Loss of a loved one is so hard. Please keep those good memories close by. They can help make the pain easier to beat.

[Joycemluc in reply to G1nny]

Thank you so much 🙏🏻

[bazizi-Islam]

I'm sorry for your loss, please take it one day at a time. Sometimes a minute at a time...

[Joycemluc in reply to bazizi-Islam]

Thank you for great advice. Some days I do take it a minute at a time.

[Ajo13]

Joyce, my heart breaks for you and I wish you healing. I know the pain of losing your husband and best friend must be debilitating. Although it isn’t the same, try to lean on family and friends for help and comfort. Or even us, on here, are willing to listen anytime. Day or night. Sending you the biggest hug! ❤️❤️❤️

[Joycemluc in reply to Ajo13]

Thank you so much for your kindness. When I got sick a year ago, I was so worried that he wouldn’t survive my loss. I was determined I would make it through so that he wouldn’t have to be alone. We had a love that is rare. Jim could walk by me and put his hands on me right where I was hurting. We were so in tuned with each other. We laughed together, cried together, and shared the greatest love I’ve ever known. He was such a kind, loving man. He was my heart. ❤️

[G1nny]

themighty.com/2018/12/ball-...

[nettl1]

My deepest sympathy on the loss of your lifetime partner. I can’t imagine. Not only your loss, but having to go on with your illness without him. Lean on your loved ones for support. Keep a healthy lifestyle, I’ve been told by four different doctors with the proper nutrition and excercise our liver will get better. God Bless! My name is Linda and email [e-mail], phone [phone]. If you need someone to talk to call, please don’t hesitate to contact me.

[Joycemluc in reply to nettl1]

Thank you Linda. Best of luck with your nutrition and exercise plan. Unfortunately my liver is past repair. I have end stage liver disease.

[nettl1 in reply to Joycemluc]

I did too. The liver can regenerate, if it doesn’t go into Liver Cancer. If your doctor is not telling you this, then find another doctor. I almost lost my life to this disease, but with help through the medical profession, I’m better. I was seeing three doctors and they all said it can get better. Don’t give up hope. God bless you.

[Joycemluc in reply to nettl1]

Thanks so much for your reply. I’ve been to several doctors. My liver is shutting down and effecting other organs. In March I was hospitalized for internal bleeding. I almost died. If I don’t have a transplant, I will die. The liver can regenerate, but not from all things. I have stage 4 Cirrhosis. It is completely scarred. Believe me, I wish my liver could regenerate. I would never consider a transplant if there was any other way.

[nettl1 in reply to Joycemluc]

Sorry. Hope you get your prayers answered soon. I was trying to be proactive for you. I’ll pray for you. 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻

[JaNeinAly in reply to Joycemluc]

I was given a year to live in “2001”

Learning to eat a diet that takes the load off the liver ( organic, non-gmo)smoothies, soups have lots of minerals ( blended veggies) probiotics & fermented foods. Mindset - releasing the trauma inside

Environment- air, body products, Moldy homes. You’re liver can regenerate but you need to heal and feed your gut.

[Cats2018]

Oh no. I’m so sorry about your husband Jim’s passing after your wonderful birthday spent together. I’m happy that you had such a beautiful day together on his last day with you, but it’s such a heartbreaking end to that day. I know you’re hear is broken, and healing from such grief will take a long time. Just know that you have people who care even though we haven’t met in person. Jim sounds like such a wonderful man. I’m praying for you. ❤️

Char.

[Joycemluc in reply to Cats2018]

Thank you Char. I’m very thankful that we had a wonderful last day together. He was a wonderful man. I can’t believe he’s been gone 5 months.

[Magicwrd]

So very sorry to hear about the passing of your husband. I can only imagine what you are going through. I would say though that Jim would probably have wanted you to keep fighting to get well. You also have your sister and your girls and just think what a loss it would be to them if you were gone. Try to take it minute by minute until you can bear to do more. When I feel really bad sometimes I think to myself, now what things would I miss out on in my life if I were gone, and it helps me realize I want to keep going on. I will keep you in my prayers. We are all here to support each other!

[Joycemluc in reply to Magicwrd]

Thank you so much. It’s been a rough few months but I’m beginning to see a glimmer of hope.

[Suzie1955]

I am so sorry to hear about your loss. Loosing someone suddenly like that is hard. I lost my first husband in 94 and my daughter in 04. There will be times that it will seem like it is hard to breathe but know that you have an inner strength that goes far beyond what you think is possible. What helped me was writing down all the good memories, one at time.

Is you need someone to talk to you can call or text me at 719-930-4201. Just know that just by sharing you have taken a big step and there are a lot of us in your corner. In my prayers. Deb

[Joycemluc]

I am so sorry for your losses Deb. I will take your advice and write down the good memories. I feel like they are getting overshadowed by the pain, and I’m forgetting them. Thank you for reaching out and for your prayers. I’m feeling lost and really appreciate it. 💕

[Daylene]

I’m so sorry for your loss I can’t imagine the pain you are going through I have cirrhosis also if you need to talk please msg us I’m watching my husband of 32 years who has end stage renal and he’s on diaylsis this week he’s getting a foot amputated Im a lot like you for he’s my caretaker best friend I have no family and he’s my everything the dr says maybe a year left im glad you have family and friends to lean on if you need an ear to yell or cry or anything give me a shout I will be praying for you and your family stay strong I’m so glad you had a beautiful last day with your love

[Addieann]

So sorry about your husband... prayers for you and your health every day...

[Herman7275]

So sorry for your loss. It will take some new regrouping I believe and help from your family . Yes reach out for support locally with support , possibly your church friends. You are never alone with your fight with your health, we are all in this together and there is a would of nice helpful people on this site.

[stvienfan]

My deepest condolences. One of my dear friends lost her husband of 32 years about a month ago to liver disease. Just hold on one moment at a time. xoxo