Son pooing in pants 10+ times a day EVERYDAY 😩

[Strugglingmamma]

please can someone’s offer any advice I’m losing the will to live. My son who was fully potty trained for about a year has, for the last 6 months been pooing in his pants even after he has been for a big poo on the toilet. Like he’s not fully emptying him bowel. His poo did always seem soft but the doctor put him on laxedo as he was only pooing every 2/3 days. Since being in laxedo (now stopped taking) he’s not been to the toilet full stop and it’s been just over a month , poo just constantly leaks out his bum throughout the day. Sometimes it’s runny and others it’s soft (never is it hard) I’ve done allergy testing and all fine. I don’t even know what I’m trying to treat? Is it constipation? I’ve absolutely no idea but I’m just done with it. Oh and he starts school on Monday 😩😩😩😩😩

[Strugglingmamma]

I should note that although he hasn’t pooed on the toilet for over a month the doctor has felt his tummy and said there doesn’t seem to be much in there so he is emptying out into his pants throughout the day just not in one go on the toilet

[Yaleamanda]

Why did you stop giving the laxido? Have you disimpacted him before?

[Strugglingmamma in reply to Yaleamanda]

No I’ve never disimoacted him before, the doctor put him straight in a maintenance dose because he didn’t have hard poo, but all it made him do was poop his pants even more so she said to stop and go on lactulose which had the same effect, so they said stop again and give Senna, which did nothing. So here I am today still non the wiser x

[Beaumont620]

It sounds as if he’s definitely constipated and this sounds like classic overflow (he has zero control over this). Feeling his tummy tells you absolutely nothing. My daughter (almost 5) was so backed up that they had everyone come look at her X-ray. They were flabbergasted how bad it was. Her tummy felt fine however and 2 consultants and a GP both said she wasn’t constipated. Turns out she was very severely constipated and needed a manual evacuation as it was so bad. No amount of meds would clear it and we’d been trying for months and months

Go back to the GP and ask to see a specialist. This has been going on for too long and the GP is not handling it. Read through the leaflets on this website and get a really good understanding of overflow. Ring the ERIC helpline and get some proper advice from them. He needs disimpacting by the sounds of it.

[Greengreendog]

I also agree with the comments above feeling their tummy means nothing. My son's tummy was also soft with a good appetite an I was told time an time again he wasn't consipated an he was so full of poo.. I had to nag the consultant for a transit study test just to prove it. He was left for months an months without pooing before the xray. It's been a rough ride.

[RubyBeach]

Try to speak to the school before he starts. This will be something they have dealt with before but you’ll need to speak to them to come up with a plan for the days he’s in school. This will put your mind at rest too. As it’s a medical problem he can’t be denied education and sadly many children go to school not potty trained, which is clearly worse!

It can seem really back to front to be treating constipation and giving laxatives when they’re constantly leaking poo. The leaking is coming around the hardened poo and they have no control of it, so a disimpaction will release all the hardened poo and allow him to get back to a normal routine.

The bowel needs to regain tone after disimpaction but toilet sits after a meal and a maintenance dose of laxative should keep him on track.

Definitely ring the ERIC helpline. It can be hard to get through- proving it’s such a common issue, but persevere because their advice is invaluable. My little girl suffered with with holding and soiling and I was so averse to disimpaction, but it did help her. 9 months down the line we aren’t out of the woods yet but she’s doing so much better- there is hope!

Persevere with the GP, school nurse may also be able to help, we have a continence nurse in our Trust too so worth seeing if this is a service provided. Unfortunately it’s an issue widely misunderstood by GP’s and putting them on a maintenance dose is not usually the right call.

I would also recommend all the reading material and videos ERIC provide.

Good luck!

[Strugglingmamma in reply to RubyBeach]

Really appreciate this response thank you 🥹🥹.. and so nice to hear there is some hope, I’ll take any ounce of improvement just for my boy to be able to have a normal day at school 😞… I’ll call the school Monday and see what they say, surely they cannot say he can’t come in. I’ve started dissipation today so I’ll see how we get on. Pray for me 🙏🏽 x

[RubyBeach in reply to Strugglingmamma]

There is definitely hope it will improve, but it takes time, it’s a mountain to climb to stop the habit of holding in. Rewards are really important after disimpaction for poops in the toilet, and important to avoid any punishment for poops in pants, bribes and incentives only!

I think if you’re starting disimpaction it wouldn’t be recommended to send him to school as it’s hard to keep the dosage up and also they can be running to the toilet a lot. It’s very much a stay at home and wait it out game! ERIC has great resources on this.

Hopefully the school are supportive, ERIC have loads of resources on how to approach it with school. I had to sign something which outlined that staff were allowed to change her if needed, but it really is so common they have probably come across it before. It’s just important to be really clear about where he is so there are no surprises.

Good luck and I feel your pain! 6 months in is still early days, hopefully you’ve caught it in time to tackle it fairly quickly.

[Ellcee_79 in reply to Strugglingmamma]

Hi - We were in the same situation last year and my son went through the whole of the school year in reception pooing his pants 6-8 times a day (we had 10-11 when he was 18 months plus) Going into Year 1 this Sept I was really worried however we got our constipation nurse appt in the last week if term and this was the turning point. We started disimpaction which went on for around 10 days to get to gravy stage and then we started the maintenance dose, he’s currently on 1-2 sachets a day and it’s much improved, we have the odd accident however the stress of the 10 poos a day in the pants, which is so debilitating for everyone, So I feel you.. holidays and days out, it’s exhausting . Our son is definitely not there quite yet but it’s 10x better.

There is hope, speak to ERIC helpline and push for a specialist appt. School cannot refuse him, they’ll have a TA who will do his bum changes.

[Strugglingmamma in reply to Ellcee_79]

Soooooo glad you’re finally at a point where it’s not making every day difficult . Really pleased for you. and it’s such a relief for me to hear this as currently I can’t see a way out 😭. Although disimpactation sounds like it might be a good start, I’m on day three and so far there is no change we’re still on loads of accidents all day and they’ve not really changed consistency but I know it’s early days, he must be really backed up I guess 🤷🏼‍♀️.. I’ve not even had the conversation with school yet so I’ll see how it goes tomorrow, I feel like I’m going to be a nuisance to them but it is what it is I guess 😩.. xxx

[Ellcee_79]

Don’t get me wrong, school is tough, our sons teacher was amazing however they would discuss his bowels in staff meetings to see if anyone had any ideas to get him ‘toilet trained’ There is a definite lack of understanding around chronic constipation, there is a misconception that it means you dont go, when in fact impacted stools cause the little poos and the mega poos. I felt finally ‘seen’ when I spoke to the helpline and then when finally getting our constipation clinic appt (we had so many tests prior to this under a the paediatrician, not once did they think to refer at the beginning, he was on a food elimination diet as they thought it was a food intolerance. Anyway I want to tell you all of this so you feel bette that you’re not cracking up, there are lots of us out there who are feeling the same. Wishing you lots of luck with the school, I’m sure it will be fine and with the right routines and medication if required in place, you will get your life back and your little one will feel better 🫶🏼