5year old not toilet trained- anyone with advice?

[Cazzlar]

Hi there,

My daughter turns 5 in a few weeks and started school in September. She is not toilet trained at all and was going into school wearing a nappy up until this week when I agreed with the teacher to start sending her in knickers.

She seems to have a ‘fear’ of using the toilet or even a potty and will not even sit on either of them. I think I’ve managed 3 times to at least get her to sit on the potty but that was earlier on this year.

School are being very helpful so far (we’re only on the 2nd day) they haven’t managed to get her on the toilet either. She was wet twice but can hold wee for quite a number of hours sometimes.

I’m wondering if anyone has any advice if they’ve been in this situation as I don’t know anyone who has.

Thanks

Caroline

[Evala]

Have you been to gp? Plus ask school what support/incentives they can suggest/offer, but they won’t be experts, and you don’t want her stressed out all the time. My son had help from a clinical psychologist for poo problems but it was a long wait. You could enquire with gp about any local services, private or nhs. Is there anything big you can think might incentivise her to sit on the toilet, with no pressure to wee, perhaps just to sit a few times a day even with clothes still on as a first step. Does she change her own pull-up/nappy when she has had a wee? If not, that may be something to encourage as a first step at independence and going into the bathroom.