6 year old will only poo in a pull up, withholds and on movicol

[Gemha]

Just writing on the off chance anybody has some suggestions / advice for me as I feel like we’ve tried everything and I wonder if this is just how my little boys life is going to be. I’ll try to be a brief as possible. He started fully withholding when he was 3, however he had never done a poo in anything other than a pull up ( o wanted him to potty train when he was ready but he was just never ready) . The longest he has withheld for is 9 days. We have had to take a couple of trips to an emergency clinic as he has been in such a lot of pain. He as also been sick when he has held onto his poo for so long. He would do anything to avoid pooing- most commonly holding breath, running, laying down etc. We then got him on movicol and he now poos every 1-3 days (currently on 1 movicol a day) . But he will only poo in a pull up standing up. He will also now do his poos in the bathroom (watching an iPad, stood up in a pull up) this is real progress for us as he’s doesn’t hold onto it as much ( he will hold onto it at school and has bit in his pants and bum when he gets home - but then he goes when he gets in) and will now tell us when he needs to go. But we cannot get him to sit down in the toilet - we have tried and he loses the feeling when he sits down (I think because he gets anxious about doing it sat down as he has never done it before so it feels different). He now is old enough to get embarrassed and doesnt want anybody knowing about it. He has a 3 year old sister who was potty trained by 2.5 with no problems - which helped me feel less of a failure. The drs seem to think he will grow out of it and just give him movicol. We have tried the usual things of rewards, charts, being positive, getting upset, cross etc, anybody have any ideas? Anybody else in the same position- it feels really lonely going through this on our own?

[Rose0305]

Hi, Gemha

Just wanted to say you are not on your own with this problem and I also know how stressful and isolated it can make you feel. I have also been struggling with exactly the same situation with my daughter for two years now and she is nearly five. My daughter will not use the toilet for a poo either but will use for a wee perfectly fine. She too started her problem by withholding the need for a poo and this has caused her chronic constipation whereby she is now on movicol everyday too. However, this did not work properly and just caused overflow coming around the stool that was stuck and she had to have a stay in hospital recently where they did the disimpaction regime with her as I had tried this twice at home and never got results but again, her stools are always loose and she will only pass it in her pants and never on the toilet. My daughter too misses a lot of school and is always suffering from tummy pains and not feeling well. I'm sorry I don't have any answers for you but just wanted to let you know your not on your own with this and if you do get any answers then please share them with me too!

xxx

[Sam2020]

Hi Gemma,

I’m sorry to hear you and your son are going through this. You are definitely not alone. My child suffered since he was about 1 years old and we’ve only recently made progress. All I can say is that I really sympathise, it’s so hard and unless you’ve been through it with a child people often don’t understand. My son was always fine weeing on toilet or potty but would withhold his stool. This book helped me if you haven’t read it amazon.co.uk/Stool-Withhold...

The children’s story ‘poo goes to pooland’ seemed to eventually help my son as he still talks about sending it to pooland. My son also obsessed about poo and would talk and joke about it constantly. All he wanted to do was read potty training books - on repeat! He was particularly interested in the accident section. I was initially advised to not tell him off for talking about it but to try and change the conversation and distract him. Also to not put any pressure on him to push on the loo. Just to try and get him to sit on the toilet every day at the same time (20-30 mins after a meal) - and to just call it toilet time not ‘do you need a poo?’ He would then get lots of praise and sticker for chart. The idea was to reduce the anxiety and not let him feel like he’s failing because he isn’t pooing on the toilet. I’m not sure this worked to be honest but we did do it for a long time. Over the Christmas period I then just embraced his obsession with poo. We got him a doll which you feed that wears nappies and then the food comes out and you have to change the nappy! He got really into that. My husband also bought him silly poo toys. Then one evening during toilet time after dinner (he was really bloated and needed to go) I said - can you push for me. And he just did it. I don’t know what clicked. But he was so pleased with himself. He now goes regularly for a poo on the toilet. I really never thought we would get there. We are still on movicol and I’m trying to wean him off it. I know we need to stay vigilant as if he becomes constipated he could relapse. He withheld for about 2.5 years in total. I just want to offer you some hope. I am conscious my son is younger so not sure same approach would work but thought I’d share just in case of interest.