2nd son with overactive bladder too?

[Meravigliosapaura]

Hi mums. This photo regards my 2nd son who is 3 1/2. My 1st son who is 7 years old has overactive bladder but my youngest was sooo good at the beginning of potty training. A year later, he has started to wet a bit before reaching the toilet and to go frequently. Today (we are at the swimming pool) he has already gone 6 times. He does not show at the moment holding manouvers as his older brother, but I fear he could have the same issue. This is how his underwear looks like more times a day. Any ideas? Thanks

[Helen36]

Hiya - I wouldn’t panic yet. My little one is 2.5 and potty trained really early at 2. The first 4 months was a breeze, she just got ‘it’ in a way my older one (who has an overactive bladder) never did. However a couple of months ago she started doing little wets just like this. I have tried to keep positive that it’s just a potty training regression rather than the same path to an overactive bladder. I spoke to a health visitor about it who was really kind and reassured me that it’s really normal for potty training regressions to go on for quite some time, and not to worry yet. It’s also confusing I think when they see you dealing with wetting all the time and obsessed with going to the loo for the older one and see how they get attention for that, and so the incentive to be dry isn’t there in the same way as other children. The HV said that once they’ve ‘got’ potty training it’s quite normal for them to leak little bits when they’re not concentrating on it. I’ve noticed if I ask my little girl if she needs a wee she quite often leaks - it’s like the thought of it sets her off! After a couple of months we are starting to come out the other side and she seems to be reducing the number of accidents and having some dry days which is giving me more confidence that it’s just a normal regression. But I feel your pain - it’s so exasperating when you are up to your eyeballs in wee and washing for the other one to have it happening again!

One thing you could consider is upping his fibre with some prune juice to see if this makes a difference. The number one cause of day wetting is constipation (even if he doesn’t seem constipated) and is often what leads to an overactive bladder. I’d also suggest just keeping a note of number of accidents and number of times he goes a day and if it goes above 15, get to the GP or health visitor to discuss. I’d also suggest measuring a few wees to assess his bladder capacity. There’s a formula on the ERIC website to tell you roughly what it should be for his age. It might just give you another data point to monitor if you think things are going down hill.

Off the top of my head I think I can only remember one family on here where more than one child has had an overactive bladder, so stay positive if you can. xxx

[AndrewT]

Dear Meravigliosapaura,

I wouldn't worry, both your children ARE still quite young. I hate to say this but....Are YOU making 'things' worse by your attitude, to a 'Bit Of Wee'? Sorry but are you?

All three, of our Children, wet the bed- until they were almost Twelve. As regards 'underwear' wetting, again NOT a problem- a bit of Wee, so what? Don't YOU ever wet yourself? (What Not Ever??? I Don't believe you.)

Since you are an ADULT, and your Children are CHILDREN, quite frankly, where is the problem? Ok I CAN understand, your desire, to have then 'Clean & Dry' but it's not the 'End Of The World', is it? In the overall Scheme, of things- they are Well Behaved, Don't have Eating Troubles, are not generally Constipated, they don't Fight each other (much anyway) and are Learning well, at School. Remind me again...How important is 'a bit' of wee?

I am aware, of the 'strange' Smells, that DO arise but again......Really?

Sorry if this is not, the sort of answer, you were expecting. Kindest wishes anyway.

AndrewT

[Helen36 in reply to AndrewT]

Andrew - as a fellow family with a child with an overactive bladder I couldn’t leave your post unanswered. It is ‘just a bit of wee’ - you are absolutely right. But when this is is 15, 20, 25 times a day, with no progress and absolutely no control, it is not right. It tests any parent to the core and is stressful in ways I can’t begin to explain. But when your child is red raw from wet knickers you haven’t spotted and school can’t get them to sit still for long enough to learn, it is not just a bit of wee. When they are living with a condition that makes them feel they are bursting for a wee non stop, it is not just a bit of wee. And when their friends start to notice, and god-forbid, tease, it is not just a bit of wee. We all worry our response to this condition might make things worse but we are just all trying to arm ourselves with enough information to protect our children, and with a bit of luck, help get them drier.

The post above is a lady very worried that her second child might have the same condition as her older one. I have laid in bed at night with the same worry about my little one. Although the rational me knows that at this age it is just a bit of wee and probably a potty training regression, I utterly empathise with her fears and I do not think your post is kind or compassionate. This forum is our haven in a world that too-often judges us as parents, so please, don’t bring that here.

[EHM39 in reply to Helen36]

Could not have said it better myself. Thank you.

[AndrewT in reply to Helen36]

Dear Helen36,

I've clearly 'Hit' a Raw Nerve here and I'm, very sorry, for any offence- which I DID NOT MEAN! I confess that I HADN'T considered that the, poor child, might get 'red raw' sore. Maybe I phrased, my reply, unwisely What I should have said is, something like 'Don't get so upset, about a 'Small amount' of urine. As I said I hadn't, fully appreciated, how SORE this/these children get. Please accept, my apology, for any offence caused.

Sending you, my honest, Warmest Wishes

AndrewT

[Meravigliosapaura in reply to Helen36]

Hi Helen.. Thanks for your kind and heartfelt words. I think that only parents of overactive bladder children can really understand what we all feel inside. I have also friends or colleagues that often tell me "it is just a bit of wee! You are exaggerating!" but that is too easy for them, as they do not have any idea of what life could be with such a problem. To me the major pain is seeing my son continuously running to the loo, or stop doing his activities because he bursts for a wee, squatting suddenly in order not to wet himself and this repeated many many times a day. He suffers because he cannot play as his friends, has to stop his football play, has to go out from the classroom.. If he is in the swimming pool he Must go out every 15 minutes to have a wee.. His genitals hurt and he is at an age at which he now feels ashamed as if he were different from others. And this means pain to me, I cry every night, sometimes I am so afraid things won't be better that my legs even tremble (obviously I vent myself alone, not in front of him! Or in front of my 2nd child). I feel so powerless, because I would give me own life to make my children healthy and happy, as awe all parents here wish I guess..