Newbie worried about four year old son

[surviving_just]

Hi everyone. I am new here, and so glad to find it. For two very tiring years my son has wet himself every day. He has never voluntarily gone to the toilet, and gets very bad-tempered at the suggestion of going - which makes every day a battle. We've tried all the usual stuff, but nothing seems to work. He says his "willy tells him to wee and his brain can't stop it" and feels that if he can't hold it in, he has failed and then he gets embarrassed and cross. He's in pull ups at night, which are always wet in the morning. The GP brushed us off, but I'm considering trying again as giving him time has not worked and I am worried there is a problem. Not really sure why I have posted, but thanks for any suggestions!

[Littlecabbage]

Hello,

Your instincts are telling you there is a problem, and I'm sure you are right. We were brushed off in a similar way when my son was 4, even though it was obvious he was so different to his peers (daily wetting, with urgency and frequency). He is now 6 and being investigated for the problem at a children's hospital, and they have found clear evidence of abnormalities (please see my other posts for a full explanation).

So I would advise to push for referral to a paediatric urologist. If your GP won't help, see a different one. There is a lot of help out there, but accessing it can be difficult. Keep reading as much as you can on this forum, as it is so helpful. Ihave learnt a lot from it.

Good Luck xx

[MrsSquirrel]

Welcome aboard! You will find many on here who are having the same experience. We also have bladder issues. GP's seem to delay, I was told 'we are not interested until they are 7'. However, I do not think that is what NICE says in terms of good care! For example (this is not to worry you but to strengthen you case when talking to GP) a bladder problem may be a symptom of something underlying that needs attention - how do they know unless they investigate?

Find out - from health visitor/GP/Google if you have a local team of community paediatric continence nurses. They are the ones who will help with asking sensible questions to look at why.

Continence issues have a major impact on family life and the child - of course. You deserve to be listened to. We - like lots of folk on here - were told 'he will grow out of it'. He hasn't.

He is almost 8 now, and school has been a long procession of wet trousers, tricky school bus trips and battles with teachers about drinking/changing. Keep bothering your GP. It can take a while to get appt with continence team (often do a local clinic, or telephone apt after initial 30 to 45 minute assessment so ask) Keep a chart, say how many accidents per day. Tell them that he has 'urgency and frequency'. Measure how much wee is coming out - with a little jug or something (but not first wee of the day as is big one). Is it really tiny amounts like 40 or 50 ml each time? and record how much liquid he drinks in a day. This is all evidence to press for a referral. Good luck from one who has the T shirt!! xX

[MrsSquirrel in reply to MrsSquirrel]

We never achieved continence - so wet from time he came out of nappies aged 2 or 3. Don't feel bad if you used pads or pull ups. If it was an adult who couldn't control their wee, we wouldn't think twice. A paediatrician once told me 'it makes them lazy' turns out that was rot. He has an overactive bladder that he has very limited control over.

[EHM39]

Hi there. I’ve only just seen this post but it rings so true with me. Also have a 4 year old boy with same issues. Because of their age it is easy to get brushed aside by the system. But you and me know this isn’t normal and also the stress and exhaustion this problem can bring on the entire household. DEFINITELY go back to your GP and push for a referral. I feel it is important to do this even at this young age as there is no magic answer and things on the NHS take a long time to progress. We visited our GP without our son so we could speak seriously and frankly and then went back with our son the following week. The first referral was rejected but we are now waiting to hear from another hospital. I sought help from the school nurses but they don’t help until children are 5. Health visitors are the ones to turn to at age 4. We currently have a referral going through via them to the local child development centre. It is tough going seeking support and help. You have to be determined and be willing to try all points of contact to open doors and point you in the direction of somebody to help. Like you said, no improvement over 2 years is soul destroying and rings alarm bells. We just need someone to listen and feel like there is some progress. Good luck! 😀