Fed up

Hi I'm not new here just totally fed up!! My poor daughter has been suffering with encopresis forfive years, she is now eight . We have been through it all GPs, pooh nurses, consultants, disimpaction the lot. Still we have accidents everyday. Last night I cleaned out three more pairs of pooh filled knickers. We never seem to get the dosage right and she does nothing to help herself. Don't really need any advice as nothing works to sort this out. I just needed to rant. I could cry, sorry all ill shut up now. Love Sally.

16 Replies

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  • Hi Sally,

    We hear you - we understand and we've been there too! 😏 Sending you and your daughter thoughts of patience and solidarity! Good on you for getting your thoughts down in writing. Hang in there kid. I hope things improve for you soon.

    The Laundrymaid xxx

  • Thank you so much, I do feel better today especially with all your lovely support. I didn't realise that my reply to Louise would come up on here, I was going to reply to all of you sperately, im hopeless! Take care xx

  • I know the feeling. Don't apologise!!!!

    My daughter wets in the day and isn't getting any better and some days I just want to cry! The days I come on here are the bad days, to just know I'm not alone!

  • Hi poppy mum and thank you. This all help so much as you never actually meet people going through the same thing! Take care xx

  • Last night I cried my eyes out cos I can't talk to mum's in the playground after school as Poppy comes out then I take her back in and clean her up and change her ( last night she was really sore too) and get out of school and everyone left 10 minutes before!! Then I get home, put school washing on, wash hers and sisters car seats, and 3:30-5:30 pm she has several accidents and her little sister is potty training so could maybe have one accident ( thankfully she has normal frequency!). By time my hubby gets in I'm done in!

  • Bless your heart so empathise. It's a flipping nightmare. We've been away this weekend and our daughter developed a nasty bladder infection.. We took her to an out of hours GP who suggested we sought a referral to a neurologist, apparently some children's nerve endings in that region aren't as well developed as others. It's worth a thought so we will probably do that. There's not much else we can all do but keep going. It does get you down though!! X

  • Hi there Sally...

    I know you have been on here a while, same as me, I often check in and you always give good advice.

    I hear you too, it’s so tough dealing with this issue. My daughter has had good times and not so good, I thought getting older would help but she is 7 now and holds everything in at school, won’t wee or poo at school now so this has resulted in her having more poo accidents (only small amounts ) and other children are starting to tell her she smells. Thank fully it’s not that often.

    I am still baffled by it all even after all these years. It’s very confusing how her body/bowel behaves. I just soldier on and am thankful that school are understanding. Water is a big part as I have to force her to drink.

    I’m not looking for advice either but really wanted to offer support too. I totally understand the need to cry. It helps. I try to take it a day at a time and hope that one day we will be in a better place with poo! I think at 7 she still isn’t emotionally mature enough to help herself. Maybe it’s the same for your daughter.

    Sending big virtual hug...Louise x

  • Louise I've replied to you in the wrong place!! I'm hopeless have a look on the posts!! Xx

  • Fed up is definitely how I feel on a good day with the frustration and hopeless of it ! Lonely, a rubbish parent etc and despair etc is how I am on bad day . My son doesn’t even appear to care and I am fighting to get help - just keep going - it’s not easy xxx

  • Thank you so much. I think it's also so frustrating because most things we can sort for our children but feels impossible so often and I don't want to wish her childhood away to when she can cope by herself. Take care xx

  • I agree. I told a school nurse that fighting to get help was sometimes harder than having an incontinent child. She said it shouldn't be. It is though!

  • Thank you so much Louise,your lovely reply made me cry this morning. I do feel better today and you're absolutely right my daughter is very immature(but lovely with it). I jus feel that so much of her childhood is being spoilt by this,but she could have so much worse. Also I think I'm having a wobble because she is starting a new school next week(another story) and I'm worried about how she and they will cope. She's not bothered though!! Thanks again love Sally xx

  • Hi Sally

    Glad you are feeling better today. Mornings always bring a fresh perspective on life! And sleep helps too I find.

    It’s really understandable to be feeling nervous of a new school, I would be too. Have you had the conversation with the new school? Are they on board. I can’t believe the amount of times I have talked about poo over the last few years. To teachers, colleagues, other parents etc. Who would ever have thought 🙄

    I have wondered if my daughter will remember much of her poo troubles in adult life (please I hope it ends before then...) she is such a wonderful child and so creative and funny I don’t think so far it has had much of an affect on her (just aged me a few years!)

    We will all soldier on.

    Tomorrow is a new day

    Louise x

  • Thanks louise I have spoken to them but I don't think that they really got it, they will do ha ha. We have been to a wedding this weekend and our daughter developed a nasty bladder infection so had to go to an out of hours doctor. She suggested that we ask our GP for a referral to neurologist apparently some children's nerve endings are poorly developed in that region. I think we'll try it's worth a thought at least we could either rule that out or at least have a concrete reason. I know I really feel that their lives are blighted by this. Take care love Sallyx

  • I'm not sure that I can help but I have 2 girls that get dirty knickers - the worst one is my eldest who is 11 and fills her knickers most days, she hates using toilets other than at home and at home it's only if no one had been just before her, hates to sit on the seat if it's warm from previous user etc etc.and so withholds and gets constipated and so on. We did all the disimpaction/ movicol / etc up to her 7th I think birthday and TBH we weren't getting any where , the movicol made the mess in her knickers - and skirts jeans etc terrible and i know the idea is they can't hold it but when you have a child who will not use a school or public toilet the knicker mess is inevitable. So we stopped the movicol, introduced regular toilet sits at home when she had to do a poo. At least we got some days with no dirty knickers and when there was an accident the accident was contained and didn't get everywhere.

    Unfortunately mine is unphazed by it - and tells me when she has full knickers that - I don't use school/ public toilets to poo cos they're dirty ( will pee though when disparate) not my fault if i won't come out at home at toilet time / not my fault it came out in my knickers. Will matter of factly just say to me oh mum there is some washing in my school bag or hand me a plastic bag with dirty pants etc.

    Oops I think unwanted to get that off my chest as well

    Jaz

  • Bless you this is all so familiar! This weekend my daughter has developed a nasty bladder infection. We had to go to an out of hours GP who suggested that some children do not have as good nerve ending development as others. She suggested we ask if our GP would do a referral. She was unclear as to how this would help only that it might confirm one way or another as to wether this could be the reason or not. Food for thought and we will definitely look into it. Referral would be to a neurologist.

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