I just want to see if anyone feels like me... I’m 44 year old man, who out of nowhere suffered a full on tonic-clonic seizure and was admitted to hospital. Cutting the timeline short, after a diagnosis period of 9 months and numerous test I was told it was ‘most likely epilepsy’ and started on Zonisamide to control absence seizures. All seemed well until about 10/12 months then the seizures started again so I began a 6 month period of coming off Zonisamide and to start taking Lamotrigine. Here I am again another year on and the seizures have started again. I’m still on Lamotrigine but now have a top up with clobazam. I haven’t been able to drive for 3 years and recently suffered another absence meaning I’m ‘reset’ and have to start my year again before being able to reapply for my licence
I feel trapped because of having to now work from home, not being able to drive (and I’m a petrol head with cars a big part of my life) giving up rugby, not being able to do things with my kids who are just 12 and 6. Having my wife do all the driving in between her jobs, the grocery shopping. Then there is the mood swings from aggression to crying at scenes from soaps on TV. The not being able to enjoy a drink now and again, the tiredness, all enthusiasm has disappeared along with any desire for a relationship’ with my wife. Never in my entire life have I felt this useless and a burden on my family, that I want it all to stop and to run away. I don’t feel like I’m a husband or a father anymore and I just exist.
I apologise to anyone who reads this but I just want to know I’m not alone and other people are experiencing The same/similar things to me.