I now have ED, and have struggled with PE with my wife of 27 years. She's moved on and is now finding sexual satisfaction with other men. She's willing to stay with me and see if I can fix myself.
She's having great amazing sex for the first time now, we have our moments, "somewhat" and we're developing workarounds until we come up with a solution to the ED. She's been on this sexual awaking now for about 7 months.
I'm not sure how much I can take of it. I'm working on getting happy, being confident with myself, just can't see us being happy or working on our marriage while she's hooking up sexually and emotionally with her fuck buddies at the same time.
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MaxSteve
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Each to his own. You have ED but do not say why. I have ED but that results from a prostatectomy back in Nov 2015. All clear now. I have been married for 50 years and know that my wife would love some sex BUT I also know that she would never consider wandering. Your marriage does not sound at all perfect 'for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, etc, etc). I believe you think that by agreeing to give your wife total freedom you are doing the right thing. But I cannot agree with you. Either she accepts the problem OR you split up now rather than when she finds that grass is really greener elsewhere.
Sir, just my opinion, but seeing you appear to be asking for comments, here's mine. As a 23 year PC survivor, now age 76, also being impotent since age 52, you need to have more respect for yourself and take a good, long look at your marriage which IMO, is no longer a marriage, if it ever was one. I have been married for 53 years and we have actually gotten closer SINCE my impotence started because we truly love each other, not just certain body parts.
As others have suggested, there ARE options such as pills, shots, pumps, and implants. I have tried them all except an implant with limited success. NONE of those options are not, even if successful, and will never be the same as a natural spontaneous erection and it is obvious, any of those options WILL NEVER satisfy your wife's need for sex as none of them are spontaneous and a natural part of foreplay. Your wife apparently only needs you to bring home a paycheck and be the handyman in her life. YOU DESERVE MUCH MORE THAN THAT. And there is much more TO life, and IN life FOR YOU other than to tolerate the existence you currently have, which is an insult to you. Suggestion..., ask your wife to read this and see what she has to say.
I have the same problem ED. My therapist told me "No better way to break up a marriage/friendship that to have continual unfulfilling sex" I have never seen this advice fail after I heard this and looked around to other relationships and found it to be true. I can hear the pain, unhappiness with your wife's "HOOK UPS". I would worry about STD (Sexually transmitted diseases, let alone the emotional feelings of abandonment.
once the female has been satisfied sexually by other MEN, the cat is out of the bag and there is NO going back. She is never going to eat fat free cheese when she can have the "real thing". Don't pay attention to what she says, "TALK IS CHEAP". look at her behavior. Her truth is revealed in the behavior she demonstrates and NOT what she says....
I'm in agreement with all of these guys. Your wife wants to fool around and will use any excuse to do so. And I can tell that you still love her. As a result, you have either allowed her to convince you or you have allowed yourself to convince yourself that YOU are the cause of all of HER problems. Not so. The world according to Chuck:
1. Get serious counseling pronto. Your marriage cannot go on any longer this way.
2. Look into an ED cure with a qualified urologist. (I have an implant and our sexual relationship and activity is as good or better than it ever was.) That would be YOUR part of the reconstruction process.
3. HER part is to CEASE her extramarital activity. Trust me, this isn't in the contract! She is breaking the marriage vows and trying to convince you that this is part of the deal. It is not.
4. Her part is also to continuously go with you to counseling.
5. I am always into maintaining a marriage at all costs, but infidelity is not something that you can just accept and live with for the rest of her life. Your wife has to know that there are repercussions to her activity.
I agree with all these comments as well. Would your wife give you the freedom to have sex with other women if she had had a mastectomy, for instance, and you are a breast man or she had issues with painful intercourse? Ask her. I think the handwriting is on the wall, but try therapy-unless you think it is too late-before you decide to end the marriage. Advise is easy to give and not so easy to take or to be objective about oneself, but I could not stay in a relationship under these circumstances.
All true, thanks. Wondering how much of this is in my head now vs physical. I am diabetic and it's been out of control for long time. If I could get her to connect and want to try at least. She's pretty much given up and thinks I'm a lost cause ;-(
I'm sorry to hear about this but I'm in total agreement with all other guys , no good staying in that situation - you'll be hurt more & more, don't let her let you feel that bad , e.d. Is bad enough to deal with
I agree with all of the advice given. I would leave, or kick her ass out of my life pronto! She has absolutely no respect for you. Shame on her! Man up, and get rid of the woman. I would call her something else, but out of respect for you, I will not. SHE IS NO GOOD!
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