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I need some advice about my daughter's move from school to uni

bumble16 profile image
12 Replies

My daughter has suffered from dyslexia all her life and has finally found a fantastic tutor at school who has really helped to build her confidence. In september she is going to university ( depending on her grades!!) and I am really worried about how she will cope without her tutor. What should I do? I have not mentioned anything to my daughter yet as I don't want her to think I am treating her like a child.

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bumble16
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12 Replies
vickys profile image
vickys

My dyslexic daughter is in her final year at Brighton Uni. She has had excellent support there, including funding for a laptop and printer, and sessions with a specialist dyslexia tutor. If you contact the university(ies) your daughter is going for, I'm sure they will be able to tell you what support they offer. Best of luck with her A levels, and university career, I know it will have been a lot of hard work for you both to have got this far......

ssgchester profile image
ssgchester

I am dyslexic as well and attended and graduated from Texas A&M University. But I didn't let anyone know about my situation. Back then there really wasn't much available and honestly, I wanted to prove that I could do it on my own.

Looking back, if I could go back, I’d done some things differently. As we all would.

But, I did try and take advantages of what study help was available.

Mind you, computers were not at the level they are today.

If I’d have one and word processing I would have gotten much more sleep. The spell check and grammar check are priceless. But I did lug a dictionary around with me and did take it to tests.

If the colored (coloured for you UK types) paper and or glasses work, USE THEM!

If the instructor has copies of their notes, USE THEM.

If there are Learning Labs, USE THEM.

If there are Study Groups, USE THEM.

In short, USE EVER ITEM AVAILABLE TO YOU!

This includes tutors, assistance for dyslexics, anything, USE THEM.

My first year was a vast learning curve. But fortunately the university I started out in was very understanding.

But there was one thing, one simple thing, which a lot of people would just think nothing of that did have a major effect on me.

I am NOT a math or science person. It is just not my strong suit. And honestly, I pretty much fell through the cracks on a lot of education fundamentals. But when you are one of about 48 students in a class, some fall through. In fact I had to repeat the 3rd grade. Sadly for years I felt stupid, dumb, ignorant, un-educated.

So I’m taking algebra for the third time. And honestly when going to see my adviser again, I honestly felt like a bastard on Father’s Day. I hoped he’d not notice I was taking the class….again.

Well, he did. He said, “I see your taking algebra again. You know, out of 128 people in that class, 98 of them flunked?”

The man wasn't even looking at me. In fact he has his back to me.

But it was one thing, one thing that gave me a huge huge boost.

Some with think it is folly. Some will think, “My, what a bunch of twits in that class…”

My adviser then said, “They are going to restructure that class because of that…”

But the one thing, one thing that opened my eyes was that 97 others have flunked that class too.

I WAS NOT ALONE!!!!

I walked out of his office and that building feeling 10 foot tall.

It wasn't just me.

Well I did take it for a third time and passed.

But as I said, that first years was a vast learning curve.

It might be for your child as well.

I am not an Honors Graduate. Never will be. I’m fine with that. But I did receive my degree. It took me a little longer, but I did.

And I also saw those who weren't dyslexic leave and never return.

So, tell your child that another dyslexic did it and their advice to them is to use whatever facilities are available. And don’t be shy or too proud to use them. And talk to your instructors. Go to their offices for help if you don’t understand something. They honestly, for the most part, do appreciate a student coming to them for assistance.

It can be daunting but it can be done.

But also point out something that I know your child is. It is what a dyslexic has to be:

RESILIENT.

You learn to deal with set backs. You have too. But in life you'll see people who in their 20's, 30's, 40's, 50's and so one....have to deal with the very first set back or failure in their lives. And a lot of them can't handle it.

No, your child is not a failure, but it helps to point this out to them.

They are RESILIENT. A lot of people who aren't would have never ever gotten to where she is if she wasn't resilient. Make sure she knows it.

Good luck.

ssgchester profile image
ssgchester

Also tell her don't rush.... and if need be set what she is working on down, take a break and come back later. A fresh set of eyes will catch things she's missed.

FlemmingAst profile image
FlemmingAst

I can not advertise a specific solution however in Cambridge the is a company with 30 years of experience that not only assist mentally however also show your daughter a University version af a computer program that will take you daughter miles ahead of all other student's. The best you can do is to prepare her mentally. but write on flemming.ast@gmail.com for further information. I am 59 years old and very Dyslexic with a Master and MBA.

bumble16 profile image
bumble16

Thanks for all your advice and support. I think I will call up the Universities today and see what facilities they provide and then sit down with my daughter and have a conversation about everything. I just want her to feel comfortable when she is away from home and feel like she is not alone.

Giosang profile image
Giosang

I went to uni without support. I didn't even know I was dyslexic! It was difficult and I worked much, much harder than anyone else to get my 2:2. So it can be done. But I wouldn't advise it. I strongly advise that you inform the Uni about her dyslexia and they will find her the support she needs. I've noticed that universities are advertising for SEN teachers more and more - they are putting the support in place. The advice on this page is all good. So is your daughter's future! Good luck with the A levels. (glad she's getting the support she needs for them).

ClareLou profile image
ClareLou

I found Uni liberating as for once assessments wrere about looking at the pros and cons of a concept it's what mind mapping is made for which is what dylexics do best analysing. I aggre with the other comments the sooner the Uni know the quicker they can put the support in place. My university had student disability support service which was great.

cundiamor profile image
cundiamor

Make an appointment with the Disabilities Student Support. Your daughter may be eligible for Disability Student Allowance which if awarded will provide her with computer software for Dyslexics and a dyslexic tutor. In addition to reasonable adjustments providing extra time and other support when marking papers.

bumble16 profile image
bumble16

I've managed to get in contact with a few of the Universities and most of them seem to offer some sort of facility which has calmed me down slightly. My daughter is so busy with revision that I don't want to impose all this infomration on her right now so perhaps I will wait until her Easter holidays and we can go through it all then .

craftwoman66 profile image
craftwoman66

Hello I have dyslexia and I have been to university my advice to you to get all the help of your daughter this before she starts any courses every university has a disability department you need to make an appointment to see someone because she will need Her need assessment and this way she'll get funding on how severe her dyslexia is funding will cover equipment that is required to help her on the course, scribe and reader

noddy1995 profile image
noddy1995

Watch this youtube.com/embed/RSW-ftbYRBo

It should reassure you that there is great support available for your daughter

To show that you qualify for Disabled Students' Allowance you will need to provide evidence that you have a disability, mental-health condition, medical condition, or a specific learning difficulty, such as dyslexia, which affects your ability to study.

You may need to pay for any tests or letters to prove that you qualify.

If you cannot afford this you may be able to get financial help through your University or College. You should speak to a Disability Adviser about this.

See this link for all the information you will need. yourdsa.com/dsa/application...

Giosang profile image
Giosang

My son went to college and on to uni and he has had a lot of support and funding for a laptop and all the things he needs to help him with his work. He also got one to one lessons to help him develop his study skills and essay writing help. The help is there but you have to support your daughter so she knows how to ask for it - filling in the right forms etc. It will help her if you explain that you have to support her through her uni years, not because you are treating her like a child, but because she is dyslexic and needs that extra support. All dyslexic people need support with certain things, some may have issues with organisation, others find sleeping difficult, others have problems making friends, there are many different things that they need support with, not only the academic side of uni life. I have been hands on with my son's special needs tutors at college and they are very receptive to that. My son sees it as a support structure - we are a team. Your worries about all this are valid and I was very worried too. Have you talked to her current tutor about this? Perhaps she should be the one to explain that she will need to have your support while she is at uni. She could then encourage her to come to you and ask you to help her.

Good luck with the exam results. Keep in touch.

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