What might have been.

[FatOldMan]

Do you ever wonder how your life might have gone if you didn't have a problem with alcohol? At the age of 71 I often wonder how life might have been. I had a 25 years military career which I was fairly successful at but I know that I could have done so much better because when I was drinking I did the minimum required instead of using all of my skills and potential.

When I left the army I started my own business which was reasonably successful but again I missed a lot of opportunities to expand that business because when I was hungover I just couldn't be bothered to put in the extra effort.

My sons missed out on a lot because I was so focused on myself instead of spending quality time with them and I am so glad that they have grown up as well adjusted people with good careers and families of their own in spite of their alcoholic dad.

My relationships with those close to me could definitely be a lot better if I had not said and done so many stupid things because of the first love in my life, Booze.

I guess I am what people describe as a " functioning alcoholic " . While I achieved like many others I was just drifting through life and I could never have described myself as happy.

I now have several medical conditions with dire consequences that are all down to excessive drinking none of which I even thought about when I was young and healthy.

This may come across as self pity, maybe it is ,it's certainly about regrets but the main point is if anyone recognises themselves in any of this, don't leave it to late to do something about it. Not as I have done.

[SoberDrunk1]

I could relate to what you have said. But my alcoholism did awaken my being. I dont know what would have happened if I didn't have a drinking problem. My obnoxious behavior would have never been corrected. I would have kept offending lot of people had I not accepted complete defeat at the hands of alcohol. Today luckily I have not damaged the body to that extent that I can lead a healthy life physically and spiritually. And an obsession free life is something I am grateful to the 12 steps of AA.

[DicCarlson]

Yeah - I was "high functioning" - never an issue missing work, or traffic tix, etc. But that wet heavy blanket of booze smothers potential. I missed many business and relationship opportunities. But that was then - can't get it back! “Your best days are ahead of you. The movie starts when the guy gets sober and puts his life back together; it doesn’t end there.” – Bucky Sinister

[LilyAnnepuppy Ambassador]

It’s never too late to get sober. You don’t have to waste anymore time.

[Isinatra]

Your post doesn’t sound like self pity to me. It’s reality of what can happen to a person when alcohol controls their life. Thank you for sharing.

When I sobered up and was working the 12 steps for the first time, I had to work on getting rid of the regrets and resentments I carried in my gut. I did. The time that alcohol robbed me of my life was a big one. Those years I could never get back. I functioned also, but how much better I would have functioned without alcohol…well….it no doubt would have been better. It so limited my ability to grow as a person…I had no real interest in life around me. I stagnated mentally for so long. I turned to alcohol because it gave me courage I didn’t have and when I sobered up I was taught by the 12 steps how not to be a doormat. I can’t say I’m glad I drank so I could sober up and become a stronger person, though. I would hope if I hadn’t drank that I would have found another way to overcome my inclination to be a psychologically weak person. A doormat. But I’ve been working to make up for the lost time. I’ll never catch up, but I’m grateful for the time I have to try. And that’s ok. It’s great to be able to still discover life at my age.