Can you remember the day .....

[chloe40]

You realised you had to stop drinking?

What happened on that occasion that brought it to a head for you?

Chloe<3

[fauxartist]

I had a couple of; 'come to my higher power' moments before hitting bottom. But I remember the grand finale like it was yesterday. It was a New Year's Eve, and I was so caught up in my addictions that I just wanted to be left to my own devices. I had an expensive bottle of Cognac...my drink of choice... some very strong pot,... and because it was supposed to be an occasion... I had some cocaine. After an all-nighter of indulgence... I had a bloody nose, spaced out, and a hang over from hell... I was sick as a dog. Not that being hungover ever stopped me before for drinking again.... but this time it was different....

I was just done....

[chloe40 in reply to fauxartist]

Thank you for sharing @fauxartist

My goodness you really went for it that night.

I can't imagine how ill you must have felt the day after, but if it brought about your decision

to stop, then I'm very pleased for you.

Hope all is going well for you.

Chloe

[fauxartist in reply to chloe40]

Being an old hippie, I clearly remember those days, living the L.A. life, living in S.F. during the hay day of the Peace and Love movement in California, and then the 70's clubs, partying till dawn was the norm for us back then. We were college students living in the most exciting time probably since the roaring 20's. Hollywood, Topanga Canyon, Concerts, seeing musicians, actors, everywhere, .... it really was Babylon. Most people in recovery probably didn't have that much access to everything all the time like we did. And I won't lie... it was a lot of fun, ... till it wasn't.

[chloe40 in reply to fauxartist]

Wow @fauxartist!

Really appreciate your post, thank you.

[fauxartist in reply to chloe40]

thank you... appreciate you responding too.

[Starrlight in reply to fauxartist]

❤️💗♥️💜❤️💗♥️💜✨❤️💗♥️💜❤️💗♥️💜

[LilyAnnepuppy Ambassador]

For 12 years I tried to control my drinking. Then one night I hit a telephone pole in a blackout. It was October 3rd. I decided then that anyone who hit a pole in the middle of the night, while drunk, should stop drinking. So I decided then and there to quit for the rest of my life. That’s when the real hell began.

I couldn’t make it more than two weeks before I picked up a drink again. No matter how hard I tried, I kept getting “struck drunk” without my permission. That lasted for five very long, torturous months.

March 7th I woke up, after a relatively quiet night of drinking, with a split second moment of clarity. I knew in my soul that I HAD to drink. I was powerless to stop. Left to my own devices, I had to drink, whether I wanted to or not.

I sought help. Got it. And the rest is history. I work a program daily. And don’t have to drink today.

[chloe40 in reply to LilyAnnepuppy]

That must have been such a difficult time for you LilyAnnepuppy

I commend you, such a long time and you did it and now here you are supporting others, brilliantly.

<3

[fauxartist in reply to chloe40]

If you don't mind me asking chloe40... are you in recovery also?

[chloe40 in reply to fauxartist]

I don't mind you asking at all @fauxartist,

The problem for me is, it's very emotional and just typing that brings a lump to my throat. It's a long and very sad tale which I will share one day. Suffice to say, yes I suppose I am still in recovery, although it's been many years since it was a problem for me, the consequences I live with most days <3

[fauxartist in reply to chloe40]

Yes, I understand... I really appreciate your honesty.... I have wreckage of my past, burnt bridges, and loss beyond belief, but I have to remember... it is the past... we can't change what is and what is done..only what we choose to do today, for today. I had to do lots and lots of letting go in therapy...and program.... but mostly... I had to forgive myself.

[chloe40 in reply to fauxartist]

What wise words, thank you so much!

<3

[Starrlight in reply to LilyAnnepuppy]

❤️💕♥️💜💗💕❤️♥️💗💜❤️💕♥️💗💜

[chloe40 in reply to Starrlight]

Enjoy!

[SoberDrunk1]

I can relate to all the responses. I had been trying controlled drinking since 1990s. Late 90s, it was Friday only Beer experiments but slowly the drinking caught up. Expanded to weekends and then to all day and mornings too. Best thing was in GA, they introduced high octane beers sometime around 2005 and that brought me to reality and one August afternoon I realized I have to do something about my drinking. Didn't know anything about alcoholism then. The shrink I was led to adviced me to seek a spiritual solution, one of the options he suggested was AA. So, walked into rooms of AA in september of 2006 and after an intial struggle started digging deep into the book Alcoholics Anonymous and learned all about alcoholic mind and how it tricks the alcoholic over and over again back into alcohol and the only solution is to have a spiritual awakening and keep working at it.

[chloe40 in reply to SoberDrunk1]

Thanks so much @SoberDrunk1

You've been strong for sometime too. That's what I have learned here, so many of you have been 'working at it' for a long time and that's how its got to be if we want to survive this, it takes strength and guts and its character building too!

<3

[Isinatra]

Yes, Even though I was drunk, I remember everything. I was a functioning alcoholic, but would have functioned better without alcohol. I didnt kid myself. Without romancing the bottle of my earlier days of drinking, I’ll get to the point. I was done with work and still at the office by myself. I had enough vodka with me to get drunk enough to walk through the yard and step in a hole that if I was sober, I would have known it was there. But I wasn’t sober. I broke my ankle. My boss, who was my best friend and landlord, fired me immediately. Gave me a week to move out. So I lost my job, my best friend and her trust, my home and my cat , which I had to give away because I couldn’t find a new place in a week to live that would allow pets, and I almost lost my boyfriend who was a recovering alcoholic, a member of AA. I knew my next step was either death or wishing I was dead if I kept drinking. With the encouragement of my boyfriend and my determination that this was as low as I wanted to go, I joined AA. In 4 weeks, when my ankle healed, I had a plan to start my new life. One day at a time and those days added up. I started over at 53. That was plenty of time to begin again.

What my life has been like without alcohol? Well, that’s a long blessed story for another day.

[chloe40 in reply to Isinatra]

Thank you for being so honest Isinatra <3

You've been through so much, it seems we have to come up against a drastic situation in our lives before we try to do something about it. The problem can be when we do make the decision to do something about it, it can be so so difficult.

I'm pleased you had someone to standby you and help get you through.

Many thanks

<3

[Starrlight in reply to Isinatra]

❤️

[Murphy81]

when had a bottle of wine and 3 660 bottles and bottles of beer and was so worried was going to run out spent alot money getting beer delivered worries would run

Day after had to revalue it all and was realising was planning everything around beer it was not easier first couple of weeks

Now tho feel great and enjoy it when I do have a drink and don’t plan my life around it

Hope your well and if need anything a lot here for you

[chloe40]

And you can do it again Hidden

<3

[chloe40]

Thank you so much @Murphy81

Your words just prove how much of a hold alcohol has on us all once it grips us. I'm so thankful you re-evaluated your life and managed to change all that.

Best wishes to you!

[chloe40]

Hi Hidden

So you had a bit of a frightener with your liver count, and I can understand you looking for a substitution, but there is none sadly. Stress, and much more send us looking for the a drink, but it doesn't change our situations, just makes it far worse in the end.

I hope life settles for you , until then we're here for you!

<3

[Murphy81]

yeah his scary how much it gets use and how much plan around it would be out with daughter and thinking about getting back and a beer and I work away a lot so was so easy to finish work go gym and then drink

Now look forward to doing all things used to before had hold of me and last Sunday when football was on would of normally had to have a drink to watch and enjoyed not

Don’t get me wrong still enjoy a beer now and again just hope never slip back into that way and think one of bad habits used to have was when had to much would say one to make me better put was never just one

How are you feeling in yourself

[chloe40 in reply to Murphy81]

Really pleased you're now in a place where you can look forward to life, and it doesn't take much, just shows you're in a good place @Murphy.

Stay strong and enjoy!

I'm doing okay thanks for asking, much appreciated.

Chloe

[Murphy81]

good on you glad your doing ok and if need anything let me know take care