Dual role

[bandmember]

Does anyone else here have PD and is also a carer? Three months ago my husband had a small stroke followed by several seizures. I am now his sole care giver and finding it very difficult. He’s 85, I’m 81. He gets very depressed. So do I, but if I show it, it only makes things worse. At least my sleep has improved because I’m so exhausted. I’m taking him to my fitness classes, but they are closed for the holidays. Everybody tells me how well I’m coping, but what I really want is someone to look after me for a bit! He hates not being able to drive - but won’t take taxis. I don’t mind driving locally, but I’m not confident in heavy traffic or longer distances.

I’ve just re-read this and it sounds like a self-pitying moan. We’ve been married for 61 years and I love him dearly, but sometimes I wonder how long I can go on.

[Boscoejean]

is there any possibility that you could get a little break and someone could come in to help you out?

[DogsWoode]

Not self pitying at all. You need some extra support. Anyone would in this circumstance. Check your community to see if PSW or homecare etc available. Meals on wheels. Anything that can give you a helping hand. Do that ASAP.

[CRMACK1948]

No you are not moaning,my heart goes out to you,You are a star!! I’m a little younger than you,with no health issues,caring for my husband with stage 4 Parkinson’s and I’m knackered! So you becoming a carer your self to your much loved but grumpy inward looking husband is amazing.You are doing the right thing with exercise classes for both of you.I don’t know how your health system works in Australia,but here in Britain there are carer organisations that you can access through social services who are very good at accessing help and are really supportive.Its really frustrating not getting the consideration you need when you are feeling depressed but it seems to be quite a common thing when caring for an older husband,a number of my “caring” friends have had the same experience.Something that helps me in my caring role is remembering “ One day at a time” sieve out the good bits to keep you going and let us know how you are coping.

[gomelgo]

I'm not a direct cater but I got my diagnosis 2 days before I was named my mom's guardian. It has been super difficult. But I'm lucky enough to have 12 hour per day care for her. And it helps to have a co guardian to manage finances. I wish you the care you also need and deserve.