Compulsive Behaviour or Two Loves?

[Bobbyboy1947]

I was diagnosed 5 years ago. I was initially put on a low dosage of Sinemet 25/100 with 6 monthly visits to my Nuero Dr. As my condition worsened very quickly (or so it seemed to me) After trying the patches (Had a skin reaction) I was soon on the maximum dosage of Ropinerole (Requip XL) 3x 8mg per day plus 3x2 Sinemet 25/100 tablets per day. I was aware that this dosage could lead to compulsive behaviour. With regards to spending I was good at that long before I had PD, so this wasn't an issue. However my sexual desire increased dramatically. I am now 68 and and my wife is 65 and we were drifting away from sexual activity round about the time I was diagnosed with PD. I didn't mind too much because I was having problems maintaining an erection anyway. And i was finding Viagra a little expensive particularly as my wife was old school so we could not plan to have sex it had to be spontaneous. So a lot of the Viagra was wasted. Anyway my heightened sexuality became a problem for my wife. I soon found myself looking at dating type websites. What a waste of time and money that was. Just over 2 years ago my condition was such that I was sure that within 12 months I would do what a lot of people in locality with PD had done, and that was to become a recluse. I was sick and tired of stumbling around like a drunken fool and people continually asking me to repeat myself. The Neuro Dr I had was due to retire so he wasn’t too interested. So I had decided to contact some old friends to see if they wanted to meet up for what would have been the last time.

One such old friend was Suzie Q. I have known Suzie Q for over 33 years. We have had a number liaisons during that time. I have loved Suzie Q since we first met way back in 1982. The time has never been right for us to be together permanently and that has been down to my cowardice. Suzie Q is a nurse in a Hertfordshire Hospital. She has been suffering from MS since 1999. So we are kindred spirits so to speak. Thankfully Suzie Q's MS is currently benign. My wife was getting increasingly limited in response to my advances. And she as always was more ready to receive pleasure than to give it and worst of all she was not willing to talk about it. And I was becoming very frustrated. And when I thought back to the love's that I’d had in my life Suzie Q's name always came to the fore. Through Facebook I found Suzie Q and discovered she was alone again after the recent breakdown of a long term relationship. So we communicated via the internet for about 3 months. Then in January 2014 we met again for the first time 20 years. And we fell for each other all over again. However I am still a coward. I still love Jean, my wife and we are celebrating our 25th wedding Anniversary this year. And we have terrific family that I am not willing to hurt to make my pleasure more permanent. But I do love Suzie Q as well. Sometimes I find it difficult to cope with the guilt. I feel guilty for cheating on my wife and my family and I feel guilty for not being able to give Suzie Q what she wants which is a normal relationship. A relationship without clandestine meetings and deceit, which I know she hates. As I am no longer taking Requip XL. I am not as easily aroused as I was. However I still enjoy Suzie Q's company enormously and of course we continue to enjoy a sexual relationship. But we both know that at my current rate of deterioration it won't be long before my restricted mobility comes in to play and forces us apart once again.

I am told by my new Neuro Dr that I am one of the few people that the traditional medication doesn’t work with. Which is obviously disappointing for me. My biggest problem is Freezing Gait I can put up with everything else.

So if there is anyone out there that can offer me any help on this part of my PD problem’s I would appreciate it. Also if there is anyone that has had the same emotional issues that I am going through with my love for 2 people I would be interested in hearing from you.

My exercise regime is Walking early morning (as I struggle with sleep) 2-1/2 to 4 miles per day. I am starting to cycle again. I am quite active I don’t sit around.

My new Neuro Dr is seeing once every 12 months with an interim appointment with a nurse.

My medication is

2x25/100mg Sinemet 4 times per day

200mg Quinine for my leg pains and night time cramps.

10mg Amitriptyline or 250microgram of Clonazepam to help me sleep.

I stopped taking Ropinirole about 18 months ago as it made no difference to my condition. My Neuro Dr has suggested I try patches again.

[snorre]

Hei bobby

Me to have problems with compulsive behavior caused by agonist.If you are trying patches again , tear it of your body befor going to bed and it migth improove your sleep dramatic.

But it will only woorks if you are using patches only , no tablets (requip)

all the best

[Bobbyboy1947 in reply to snorre]

Thanks snorre I will.

[Beckey]

You see your neuro once every 12 months?! That seems pretty scant.

[Bobbyboy1947 in reply to Beckey]

Hi Beckey

Yes. I have had a letter from him since my last visit saying he has written to my GP and is suggesting antidepressants. I have to say I am not sure about this as I don't feel depressed. But i guess if I am not responding to to normal drugs he is at a loss as to what to do.

[racerCP in reply to Bobbyboy1947]

antidepressants can be a very bad idea for PD people. Very few GPs know which are effective and safe.

[Hidden]

I am on 2 1/2 25/100mg Sinemet and one entacapone 6 times per day every 4 hours day and night. It controls my PD very well but can not miss a dose or I have extreme problems. But is better than to PD.

I thing you are just feeling rejected by the love of your life and need to feel wanted and desired. Take the time to work with your wife. Use every resource you have. Sometimes people need to be reminded of what they have and what they are going to lose if they don't stop taking every thing for granted as people do in a long term relationship.

Been married 45 years and have to take stock all the time and so does my wife.

We were the first and only partner we have ever had.

Ups and downs are the norm for life.

Things are worth fighting for.

The new love is great because you only are getting the things you want and none of the everyday ups and downs you have with your wife.

take stock and do whats right for all.

Have been offered and have declined many times in 45 years.

But what i have is always better than what i would get.

Take care.

[Bobbyboy1947 in reply to Hidden]

Thank you for the advice. I think i need to take stock.