Full time carer to my partner! Need advice and maybe a rant!

[Shornad0n]

I am a full time carer for my partner he has Asperger’s, ADHD, depression, anxiety. I am tired all the time I literally have to do everything! I love him to bits but I am struggling to find the balance between being his carer and his girlfriend. It’s definitely put a strain on our relationship the lines seemed to have blurred somewhere along the last 3 years. With financial struggles we can’t go away on holiday I think that would do us a world of good but a lot of our money goes on him doing activities outside of the house so that his brain is kept busy and so he doesn’t go crazy from being stuck indoors. Is there any advice anyone can give me I’m really at a loss. And feel bad for moaning I feel like a lot of you have real problems and I probably shouldn’t be moaning at all right now!

[Hidden]

Get another carer in and have time for yourself - could be option

[Budapest]

I wonder if the Asperger's Foundation UK could be a source of support? Here is the link....

aspergerfoundation.org.uk/

[Shertag]

Self care is my best answer. Even little things make a difference.

[MylovedhasPd]

You both deserve! Take ime together, if possible, to budget for personal nurturing - your needs are different, and of equall value. Think how you can get the most bang for your buck Find an activity that energises you: you’d be surprised how it benefits your partner too! You’re great!

[lell1]

Hi there. There are charities and trusts that offer breaks either just for the carer or for both of you. You could have the option of respite care if you choose to take the opportunity to get a break for yourself.

[Treedpossum]

I hear you, I'm tired. Exercise is one thing that helps me and is at least free.

As a carer I have felt like a bit of an imposter when others have higher needs. The reality is that caring is a role. How high needs the recipient is shouldn't figure into valuing ourselves and our role and allowing ourselves to acknowledge when its hard, exhausting, too much.

After all we all have different capacities to cope and different budgets and problems so we can't compare our lives. We are all doing something vital and something that requires support of us, in order to work at all.

Carer burnout is a thing. Avoiding it by self care is also vital.

I learned in parenting groups;. Care for yourself first so that you have the energy left to be carer for someone else.