As a long time carer for my husband, who suffered from PSP, and now his widow of 9 weeks, I understand the difficulties faced by those suffering or dealing with, long term illness.
My message is to look for the small, positive things in life, a smile, a shoot peeping out from the earth, and so on.
After my bereavement, my lovely niece sent me a small, porcelain star. On it was written:
When it rains, look for rainbows. When it's dark, look for stars.
Hard to do I know, but if you do it, it does help.
Wishing you all good Easter blessings. X
Written by
Robbo1
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Thank you. I don't always manage it, we have to grieve after all, but I was blessed with a good marriage of almost 50 years, so I have a lot o be thankful for. X
Thank you. I have good days and bad days. I grieve every day, but would not want B. to be back here, suffering. I rationalise that the grieving is for me, for my loss, therefore I try to find things that make life more pleasant. Easter is the season of rebirth and I find little shoots from small bulbs, shooting from the cold, hard ground, nothing short of miraculous. I try to think of such things, not dwell on the horrors of PSP over the last 6-7 years as nothing good comes of it. Sorry to ramble on a bit. X
really sorry for your loss Robbo, my sister in law and friend from school recently died from PSP. I know how difficult it must have been for you . I have very many happy memories of her and when i think of her I see her laughing. Am sure you have many happy memories/times with your husband, keep those special memories and always see him as the man he really is. Thinking of you and ramble on as much as you like! x
Dear Robbo1, We wish you every blessing this Easter too. We are sorry for your loss, though understandable that you feel a sense of relief that your husband is no longer suffering. The grieving process will take time, and will come in waves, and at times may feel like an emotional roller-coaster. Good days and not-so-good days are okay. Now is the time to be gentle with yourself, and take care of yourself. Please feel free to ramble on as much as you need. We are here for you and listening.
Thank you for your Easter wishes, sorry to hear of your recent loss. As a widow myself contact counts a lot. Cherish your husbands memories it can help you through the early days of widowhood . There are lots of buds around today and to spite the snow many flowers have survived, nature is so resilient. How do the birds keep flying I often wonder. Have a lovely Easter x
You are fantastic. The care you gave and the fight you fought to get that care, despite all, was astonishing. Your struggle encouraged me and many others.
Just saying that I hope despite your loss, all is as good as it might be for you and that you keep the good memories and heal as well.
Today our small moment of finding stars in the dark was, talking about our love and the ending yet to come. Liz can only respond by hand squeezes now... but we managed to share so much about how we would have had it different. How I'm OK (she worries so much about me). How we love each other so much and that we will stay close to the end. She struggled so hard to take my hand and raise it to her lips to kiss. Finally she managed to pat my hand to say that she was there for me in her heart.
So many beautiful stars seen through tears on a dark night.
It was wonderful.
Thank you for your words. They are so uplifting.
And as always
Wishing you the best of these days of loss, and healing too.
Yes, we are blessed in that and in the loss such love is still good and, for me at the moment, the sadness and incremental loss is both wounding and an opportunity to feel its depth.
Sending big hugs back.
And thanking you for all you did supporting us all and being so wonderful on the other forum.
Kevin I should be thanking you. You always did your homework and had a wealth of very useful advice which you generously shared to those who needed it, including me.
I hope Liz is comfortable tonight and that you both sleep well. X
Easter blessings Robbo1. My thoughts are with you at what's quite a dark time in your life. It is so good to take courage and strength from the lessons of nature, of perseverance when life's adverse and to marvel at how beautiful it can be, especially now it's the time for the greatest renewal and hope.
I'm sure that your positive attitude will help to see you through, and it's wonderful to have friends and family who you know are thinking of you. You'll have your lovely star to help you remember to look for the brighter moments in life, at moments when it's really hard to remember.
Stay kind to yourself and never feel embarrassment at your grief, or struggle to hide it from others. It's your healing - like a bottle of medicine. You have to take quite a lot of doses before you can even start to feel a bit bit better.
I've got a favourite verse from a poem and hymn written by Lanta Wilson Smith that I tend to say whenever things are looking at their bleakest. Maybe it might help a tiny bit too.
When some great sorrow, like a mighty river,
Flows through your life with peace-destroying power
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