I'm so scared as I had a relapse. We had some family issues at home which I didn't deal with very well [this is no excuse of course....I'm just an idiot]. I'd been doing so well, no alcohol at all for 6 weeks, and I guess I thought I was invincible. Then I drank wine 3 times this week.
I am so angry at myself and I am so scared I have undone all of the good work I have done over the past 6 weeks [hopefully my liver has been starting to heal over the past 6 weeks].
Has this happened to anyone, and do you think I'm back at square one and injured my liver even more? Thank you so much.
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puddy68
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Try not to worry about it to much plenty of people have done it and still managed to stay off it later just try start again and forget about the past your be fine you would not have done much damage to your liver in just 3 nights good luck Lon
Obviously it’s not good for your liver and health. I know people who have relapsed a few times and appear to have dodged a bullet.
You cannot change the past, learn from it.
My consultant was concerned that due to the amount of serious things going on in my life ( homeless, lost job, lost marriage, lost car license) this would push me into the same situation during difficult times. I was being stopped seeing my kids from my wife.
The minute I admitted I had an issue and seeked help for my addiction, it was used against me as leverage. Which then resulted in all mentioned in the space of 2 months.
It was not being able to see my kids that caused a relapse which lasted about 6 months. It just sent my mental health into free fall and then cirrhosis.
He was worried that when eventually going through court proceedings to see my kids it would be to difficult and force me back into my coping behaviour.
This is where complacency is the enemy. Difficulties is not an excuse for me anymore. I can’t justify it as an excuse and it is going to help nothing, in my and your case now if complacent and allow alcohol back in , I won’t be here for the very reason I’m still fighting for.
I’m not going to tell you forget it, don’t ! Use it . You can’t change it, but don’t allow anything stop your mission of feeling better and self healing. This will only come with focus and the benefits will come.
Believe me I’ve been very close to relapse on dark days. But I give my self a talking too and ask is it worth everything I’ve worked so hard for?
If you’ve not tried AA I think this could help you. Or if you know someone else who has been through this talk to them. Giving up and letting Alcohol take you is easy. It is a horrendous addiction, in our face and readily available all the time. It’s a huge part of society.
In the short space of a year, I’ve went from all mentioned to now slowly gaining or on the path to getting everything back. This would not have been possible ( especially when in my case people are willing Me to fail) if I slipped back and let drink back in.
Put this behind you, don’t allow bad times to knock you off course, be mindful of how your actions now if continued will cause your prognosis to be worse. You are in a place now where you know it will cause you harm.
Press the reset button and if not already done I would recommend speaking to AA.
Thanks DaveQ67 - I needed to hear your firm, yet supportive words. You have been responding to my posts for quite a while now, and I really appreciate the time and effort you put into your replies to me. Thank you so much once again.
Hi puddy, Don't beat yourself up , trust me I've been in your shoes , I totally fell off the wagon for 2 yrs after being 4 years sober , I was ft carer for my dad who had secondary brain cancer, he was my soul mate so when he passed away I drank solid for two years , I didn't care about myself, but I was end stage liver cirrhosis in 2008 ,
Yes I eventually stopped but that was due to my ascites returning back , with help of therapy and CBT for my border line agoraphobia I stopped and remain sober to this day .
Were all human at the end of the day
Try not to worry , maybe see your GP or liver team and ask for LFT to put your mind at ease .
When I said solid ,I meant every day and yes ,the only time I wasn't drinking was when I had any intermitten sleep .my dad was my world to me ,without him in it I didn't want to be here any longer ,selfish yes as I have sons and grandchildren but that was then and this is now
I doubt you're back to square one unless you went on a bender. I'm sorry you're having stress at home and I hope it eases up soon. All you can do is pick yourself up, dust yourself off and resolve to keep on doing your best to stay off it. The suggestion to consider AA is a good one - if not that then maybe at least try to find someone you can talk things through with, preferably before you actually decide to have a drink, in case they can help stiffen your resolve in a weak moment.
My advice would be to learn from your relapse. Its not good for your health but we are all human and not perfect. Seek medical help if you need it
I hope this doesn’t come across as me being pompous, but in all the years I have had cirrhosis , I have never relapsed. Never been to AA and never had therapy. I trained my own mind to associate alcohol with death. That’s how I have managed to stay abstinent. If I drink again, I will die. I re programmed my brain to accept this theory. I’m no one special and we all cope differently. AA can work and there are many success stories. But I didn’t want to go down that route if I could cope without it. It’s not an easy path we are all travelling on , there’s knockbacks in everyone’s life that are not alcohol related
All my best wishes to you and others who are struggling.
Alcohol has ruined my life. But at least I have a life. And you can too.
Rome wasn’t built in a day….and relapse rates in the first year are high. So don’t beat yourself up. The important thing is you’ve recognised it’s a mistake and are committed to trying again. As long as you abstain again then I doubt you’ve done anything catastrophic to your liver. You may want to get some extra support. There is lots of help out there…your GP will be able to help you. I have cirrhosis caused by alcohol and haven’t touched a drop in 3 years now. I needed help at the start and had an alcohol support worker for a couple of months. He helped me develop coping strategies and other ways to relax. It was really useful. I can honestly say I don’t miss it now. Cheer up…tomorrow is another day.
You’re absolutely not on your own with this … I’m struggling every day with feeling a failure. If you keep beating yourself up it’ll just compound the problem leading to extra stress and increased likelihood of repeating what you want to avoid. This is a sticky situation. Try to focus on the times when you’ve succeeded and take strength / confidence from that, telling yourself you have done it before and know how to do it again. Beating this is part physical dependency and largely psychological. Maybe try to accept that this is a war. The war will ultimately be won but, en route, there will be setbacks. Just don’t give up!!
Take your disappointment in yourself and turn it into a positive. Use it as absolute proof that your determination to stay free of alcohol and the rewards far outweigh any gain whatsoever from drinking.
Just don't re-test the disappointment. Take it as your final, incontrovertible evidence that your life with alcohol is well and truly behind you.
Hi puddy68 I’ve had a few friends that have been drinkers and needed to stop and I have always said it’s a journey along a road and there are always bumps in a road and you have just hit one now its time to put your steering straight and get back on the road, lot’s of people hit these bumps and get back on the road. Funny enough I have just had a phone call from one friend that I tried to help and he said it’s now 8 years sober he went to AA not sure if you have Alcohol Anonymous in Australia but I’m sure there is something like that myself I done it a different way, I just said no more and stuck to it. I think different ways work for different people, good luck to you get back on the road , I’m 21 years 28 September this year sober 👍.
good morning, the first person who spoke when I joined AA said to me drink does not take your problems away they will still be there tommoro, then few words that lady said saved my life, stay strong I wish you the best of luck
I know a Pastor who had a church member turn to for advice. Note - this is a true story but it does not involve me, I am neither the paster or the church member. After complaining about ta multitude of things the member asked, so what should I do, pray more or something?
The past said, of course, we all should pray more. But I won't tell you to read the bible or come to church more often, although you should do that too, my advice is - actually before I give it - I want you to PROMISE me that you will do this - can you do that?
The member said, I trust you won't be advising me to do anything crazy, so what do I do?
The pastor said, just live healthier, if you can come to church, relax, take things in stride and no alcohol, nothing, zero, not even a sip, for one month. Then come and see me.
A month later the member came back and said he was feeling better. What to do now?
The pastor said, now three months, promise, not a drop of alcohol for three months.
Done.
Three months later the member came back looking a lot better than the first time he came four months earlier. "Let me guess..." "Yes" the pastor said. Don't drink for the rest of the yeara. And while not all of his problems went away, 80 percent did and the 20 percent that stayed, they were a lot easier to deal with with better energy and a clear head (and a lot of saved money from not binging on food and buying spirits).
The moral of the story is, promise someone or promise to yourself to the mirror, no drinking, not a drop, no matter what happens - for one month. And so on from there.
Hello puddy68, it happens... but the good thing is you've realised you shouldn't and you've reached out instead of hiding. I hope the anxiety isn't getting the better of you too. Learn what triggered it off and find another way to deal with it. No one said its an easy journey but it's a personal one. Hubbie tried AA but couldn't get on with it, all groups are different but it was the religious side he didn't like. He went to 'change grow live' instead and they helped. He also had councelling to accept life changing illnesses and grief, had to pay but it was worth it. Take a deep breath and try again. Xx
Hi,I can only talk from my experience, i live in tourist area where drink is the staple diet.
I started to have problems before covid, i have confirmed Cirrossis two years ago, not a drop untill new years eve just gone, 1 red at midnight luuuuved it.
But then clever old me thought week maybe 1 a week,which became 2 ect untill the end of January, bang, back in hospital, not sure how many but a least, 2 bust blood vessels, i really thought Dave this is it, known to all my friends as the drinker who never got smashed.
Well 45 years on it has smashed me.
Never ever again, im 69. Look at so called mates who know longer call because you cant go on the p with them
Guess what, i dont want to, its a mugs game stay strong ignore excuses to fall back in.
so true never give up giving up love that ! Today is a new day afresh start try your best . I found comfort in other things making delicious food trying to look healthy clothes and new make up . I get that those choices won’t be for you but try to find something else.
Don’t beat yourself up about what has happened it’s done it’s gone just focus on the now .
hi Puddy, no I don’t think you are back at square one at all. First off you realised what you had done and second you reached out here for some support so well done! So you are no way stupid or an idiot
Stopping alcohol if you’ve been dependent is never going to be easy and straightforward, you’ve just hit a bump in the road, maybe just have a plan for when the next bump in the road comes along (because it will, life is like that) … this is all about learning new coping skills, you’ve obviously used alcohol to cope in the past, now you need a new coping tactic. Some people use hobbies, exercise, chewing gum, treat yourself to some nice food or sweets …. Anything that’s not as destructive as the alcohol.
Hi PuddyIt took me 2 attempts to get and stay dry, it's hugely difficult, don't be too hard on yourself. I found if I was craving a drink waiting an hour helped, by then I didn't want one. This went up to2 hours, then half a day and so on. I'm now 10 months sober and it hardly ever crosses my mind to drink, if it does I ignore the thought and a minute later it's gone. The damage is already done, but I know I'm in control and doing everything I can to help my body, that really helps
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