I know it’s a small thing but I don’t like my liver specialist. I find him very intimidating and rude. I end up crying at every appointment and get myself so worked up before hand but I’m not sure there’s a lot I can do?
At my last appointment he told me whoever has been feeding me has done a good job and next time he sees me he wants me to be skinnier! I lost a lot of weight when I was very poorly and was advised to make sure I eat a healthy diet .
He has prescribed me the wrong medication in the past and if it wasn’t for the lovely specialist nurse I don’t know where I would be .
I just wondered if anyone else had any similar experiences?
much love x
Written by
Hopeful85
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First of all, it is definitely not a small thing. I am not sure if you live in a large urban area. If so, I would switch liver doctor in a heartbeat! No one should have to endure any negativity from their liver doctor. You have enough stress as it is already. Best wishes.
Mine was exactly the same. When I said I couldn't afford the £80 taxi fare to the hospital for a blood test, he replied "well how much do you spend on alcohol each week?"!! It most certainly was not £80 per week. Rich. Entitled. Think their gods. Mine treated me for acid reflux (he was/is a gastro consultant) gor 2 5 years when, in fact, I had cirrhosis. Had enough of going for important scans (MRI, Fibroscan) and having to wait six months for the privilege of a 10 minute call with him. Binned him off and asked for another consultant. Guess what? That was 6 months ago and I am now back on the waiting list to see a different consultant. I have cirrhosis. Who cares? They most certainly don't. Like you, I have regular contact with a specialist liver nurse who is authorised to refer me for my scans and blood tests. Do not be intimidated by these people. Make a complaint or get rid of him.
definitely a huge thing. I would suggest taking someone into the appointments with you or ask for a liver nurse to support you. Write down what you want from the appointment. Why is he/she asking for you to be skinnier. Do you have access to a dietitian to support how you do this.
This is your health and these are your appointments for you. I have complete respect for consultants, most of the ones I see are amazing, however, they need to respect you and listen to you and communicate to you in a way that works. If that doesn’t happen, then I would ask for a different consultant.
My first visit I was kept waiting 1hr late. Then he just wanted me out the door, not interested!
Asked me when I last drank, I told him the truth and it was before diagnosis, never had one since. He didn’t believe me and said come on…..
I nearly lost it! I had many questions about what I could do above healthy eating and no alcohol. All he said was don’t drink.
He did not look at me once, just at his paper. He was not interested in the slightest.
He then had the audacity to say he congratulated me on my 7 month sobriety on my written report.
Seriously…. I was desperately trying to get my licence returned from the dvla at the time and when I mentioned it he smirked and dismissed it. I was livid. Good job my blood pressure wasn’t taken!
I now have this nice chap next month, where I’m looking to ask him my long term prognosis. I’m hoping he had an off day last time. The problem is I’m now going to the next appointment in a defensive mood which isn’t a good place when thinking about questions I need to try and find the answers too.
That is really bad . I know what you mean about waiting , it’s so nerve wracking as it is isn’t it? By the time I’ve got in I just get emotional and I’m usually quite strong at all the other tests, procedures etc.
One time I hade been waiting so long and when he finally did come down he was walking around shaking all the other doctors hands like he was some sort of celebrity.
Hopefully it was just an off day last time as you say. Do you have a specialist nurse for support ?
Well done on your sobriety and trying to get your licence back . All sounds very positive and that you are really trying x
that is flat out unacceptable, period. I have had a ct, fibroscan, ultrasound, soon a mri and liver biopsy in 8 months time with multiple blood tests and still not been given a solid diagnosis of cirrhosis or not cirrhosis. My specialist is not necessarily a mean person but orders these tests then I’m stuck wondering the worst for 6 weeks till she can she me again. It’s very frustrating and mentally taxing. That is one thing, but what you have described is not at all acceptable behavior for any person much less your doctor. I wish I had an answer for you to take some recourse other than to find a different doctor. I wish you well though, perhaps bring a close friend or family member to your next appointment for support and to see if he would pull the same crap in front of them as well. Best of luck, take care!
Same as mine she basically wrote me off even though I've been off the drink for 2 half years go gym now work and got my driving licence look well and feel great she told me do you expect me to tell you you are going to get better and live a long life it ain't going to happen. I now have a new hepatologist after requesting a new one I now have a lovely man one.
Hi thanks for replying and well done on your sobriety and success, that is Amazing.
That is a really horrible thing for her to say ! I’m glad you now have a nice one and hopefully that one has been warned at the very least. She should not be doing this job if they are her thoughts , we need support and people on our sides .
Saying that to you is shocking. I personally know someone who recently told me they have cirrhosis too. I had no idea, they’ve been diagnosed since 1990. Still going strong no transplant, just looks after themselves.
I just don’t like to make a fuss and because it’s the nhs I feel bad to ask for a different specialist and I’m not sure if there even is one . I worry I will have to start from scratch again if I change or have to go miles out to a different hospital.
I always take my mum with me who had been amazing and my biggest support . When he made fun of my weight my mum said but she’s just hit a new milestone of being sober 1 year . The nurse and I cried and he just sniggered .
Then he asks me what I want to do and when do I want to see him next? I’m thinking never! I’ve now gone to every 6 months appointments and luckily have a really good nurse who I can go to in the meantime.
It just makes me feel like I’ve committed a crime , when as we all know it is an illness just like any other . X
A Dr commenting on your weight loss and encouraging you to lose more is not being rude.If your overweight the "treatment" for liver disease includes weight loss!
He wasn’t commenting on my weight loss he was commenting on my weight gain and that he wants me to be “skinnier “ next time he sees me. I am not overweight I had lost a lot when I was ill and have improved my diet as previously stated and what he recommended.
He also prescribed me the wrong medication which could have been very dangerous if I hadn’t realised !
Any doctor with any humanity and knowledge of weight will know that berating and making people feel small will have the opposite effect.
If eating was purely that, then possibly ok, but it isn't. Eating and weight gain are complex subjects and he should know that.
No one chooses to be overweight. We live in a complex food environment with huge corporations spending huge amounts on marketing to get around our decisions.
Recent research shows that food is as much an addicion as hard drugs. Manufacturers deliberately produce goods to be addictive by hitting the 'bliss point' for salt, sugar and fat. A consultant being snide says a lot about his understanding.
You shouldn’t be feeling intimidated by your doctor. He is well paid to look after you. If you and others weren’t ill he wouldn’t have a job! My first consultant…he’s retired now….was a bit off hand with me to start. I remember looking him in the eye and reminding him that being decent to me and explaining things in a way I understood was important. He said ‘what do you mean?’ And I explained that I felt awful sometimes after I’d had an appointment with him. He looked a bit shocked. Half the time they don’t understand their impact. He apologised and after that we were fine. He was a brilliant doctor…just an awful communicator. He saved my life…so I’ve a lot to be grateful to him for. Doctors are human beings who are also fallible and frequently run off their feet…see if you feel up to talking to him about how he’s making you feel. If not try PALs and see if you can be transferred to another consultant.
Gosh, I feel for all of you experiencing a bad consultant. I have seen 3 different consultants and they are amazing. I must be a very lucky person to have this. They all work under the same team. Good luck to you all in finding a good consultant
My family gp told me I had liver cysts after ultrascan and an enlarged one. When I saw gastroenterology consultant. He came to me in the waiting room before he'd even seen me! and said the good news is he wasn't going to do anything, I was in tears as was very painful in ruq. Also he was loud and smirking. He saw me and sent me for a blood test to see if I had gluten intolerance. I didn't, then went back as still sore and quite painful, and he had a look at my stomach area and said loudly I told you it was nothing. So I said we'll somethings not right, he raised his voice and said he wasn't going to see me again and told me go on leave the room.
I ha a gastro/ liver man that I had no confidence in and told my liver nurse I did not want to see him again and luckily enough I got a fantastic liver man who actually saved my life . It’s reciprocated that we respect nhs staff so they should respect us. If your not the type to speak out you will need someone who will speak for you.
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