Fell off the wagon and I’m terrified!

[SerenityFirefly]

This is a really long story with questions at the end. Thank you in advance for reading:

I had alcoholic hepatitis with jaundice in March. I stopped drinking and I had blood tests, ultrasounds, doctor visits, etc…looking for cirrhosis and/or cancer. They didn’t find any of that. The inflammation finally went away and I was left with fatty liver and gallstones. All of my enzymes were good and I counted myself somewhat lucky.  I didn’t have a drink for 9 months. 

I asked my doctor if I could have a glass of wine with dinner at the holidays and it would be ok. He said it would be fine to drink in moderation with food but that people who have had my condition usually can’t just have one. I was stupid and I decided I could.

 A month of daily drinking sprung from that and the fact that my family kept getting hit with really bad events. I also have an anxiety disorder so I used alcohol to calm me.

 Finally, I recently ended up in the hospital due to a very strange fall that resembled a seizure. They tested my blood and scanned my brain. They decided it wasn’t a seizure.

On my blood test, my liver enzymes were back up (high but not nearly as high as before) and I was devastated! I knew I had brought this on myself and I couldn’t believe I could have done this to myself after finally having gotten to the point of almost completely healthy! I was doing so well without alcohol. I didn’t even crave it during all those months. I just wanted a holiday drink with my family. 

The hospital doctor told me to step down to avoid major withdrawal/seizures and I did that and have stopped. I am terrified that I have caused even more harm to my liver and I know I will never fall for my “I can have just one” thoughts again. 

My questions are: Am I the only one who has done this? Is it possible for my liver, given its history, to bounce back from this? My previous condition was caused by a few years of heavy drinking (not decades) and I’d had a 9 month recovery just before this happened…Will this past one month destroy me since I’ve stopped now? I am in such panic over this!

[AyrshireK]

It's unlikely you've done yourself a great amount more damage with this little blip but do remember that although the liver has a great capacity for self repair this can't go on forever. Every time you do have a slip the inflammation and fatty liver caused will eventually start to lead to fibrosis.

Get back on that wagon, don't beat yourself up, you've hopefully learned that no amount of alcohol is safe now and you can live more healthily going forward.

Hopefully you are still going to be receiving regular monitoring to make sure your fatty liver hasn't progressed. It's up to you to keep doing all you can to make sure that remains the case.

A new year, a new you.

Katie

[Dogbot]

Hi I was an alcoholic for a long time and stopped September 2003 and I have heard of a lot of people falling off the wagon as everyone says. I tend to think of it as a road long and straight, like I’ve seen in the USA but as I drove over there I came across bridges, and I’m sorry to be a bit negative about the way American road builders join their roads to bridges they are very bumpy and that’s what happened, you hit a bump in the road now over and it’s back on the highway straight and smooth . All holiday and special occasions are the time people hit these bumps so look forward with open eyes see them coming and talk to a friend or professional but prepare yourself for it . You must be very proud of yourself for getting on the straight again WELL DONE 💕keep at it . I wish you all the best Happy New Year.

Stay safe All

Dogbot 🐶🌈