Bleeding varices: After being 4yrs sober... - British Liver Trust

British Liver Trust

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Bleeding varices

Chaz3125 profile image

After being 4yrs sober I thought why not a couple won’t hurt! Ended up with a massive bleed and ended up back in hospital!

I feel so annoyed with myself and frightened that horrible anxious feeling that I am going to die again!

My consultant said I was lucky to have survived!

I’m crying whilst I’m writing this because I am frightened and scared and so angry that I was so stupid.

So the journey for me starts again! I did it once and will do it again but this time I won’t be so naive and stupid to believe that I can ever have a relationship with alcohol again.

20 Replies

Bless you Thank goodness you did survive. Hope you are ok.Move forward now, there's nothing you can do. You made a mistake and none of us are perfect.

I can remember when I was first diagnosed, my Hepatologist asking me if I would drink from a bottle labelled poison. Of course not, was my reply. Good she said, as any alcohol to someone like you with cirrhosis would be just like drinking poison. So this is what I got in my brain - Alcohol is poison. I learnt my lesson and now 10 years without it. None of us need alcohol, we think we do, but we have to change our mind set if we want to live.

Take care

that sounds very scary . I am so glad you have lived to tell the tale. Now just put your best foot forward and start again. This was a set back for sure but it happens. Don't let it overshadow how far you have come.

How scary. Really sorry to read this. Try not to be too hard on yourself, I’m sure there are many on here that have lapsed and some may have ended up in the same place as you. It may have happened without drinking at some point, who knows. The main thing is....you survived to tell the tale.

Oh you poor thing, at least you survived this blip and you know exactly what to do to allow your liver to rest and hopefully recover some function. I’m nearly 8 years dry and the gremlins still say “ one won’t hurt “ I think it’s the hardest part of the fight, everyone thinks that now my liver function is normal I’m cured! I drink zero percent wine and I take my drink with me whenever I go out, but I don’t go into pubs until I have checked that if I buy a soft drink ( for the glass) I can then drink my own. I live in a small town and luckily everyone has been very helpful. It’s just an idea for you moving forward. Good luck

PipM82 profile image
PipM82 in reply to Cat-B

I know you’re trying to help but I wouldn’t personally suggest non-alcoholic wine to someone who has just had a slip.

Cat-B profile image
Cat-B in reply to PipM82

I wasn’t trying to recommend it, sorry if it came across like that. I’m don’t want a transplant so it helps me, It’s definitely NOT an option for anyone who wants a transplant.

The Booze needs to go Chaz.

PipM82 profile image
PipM82 in reply to Chrisjohnsy

He knows

Chrisjohnsy profile image
Chrisjohnsy in reply to PipM82

Lets hope so.

Thanks for your replies!That was certainly a blip that Will never be happening again!

It as very scary and frightening but no one to blame but myself for being so stupid!

I will never be touching the devil again that’s for sure!

Back to a strict healthy happy lifestyle

Have a good day everyone xx

Twinklystar profile image
Twinklystar in reply to Chaz3125

Fear is the strongest emotion there is so you will be fine you will never drink again take care 🤗

Thank you for posting this.....it shows in fact you have strength of character that will help you along the way. You have no idea how this will act as a warning to the many others on here, that it's a resolve Not to drink that always has to be before you, on a daily basis. Well done, wishing you a speedy recovery.

Xx

Hi Chaz. There are only two choices here. Both are frightening. Addiction is excruciating. Often the desire for relief seems overwhelming. Only the sufferer can truly understand. The well intentioned words of others only go so far. You have nothing to prove to anyone. Self recrimination is a downward spiral. Don't let your problems define you. Nor your perceived failures. Don't spend the future avoiding the past. Define what you want from the future and focus your behaviours on achieving that.

We are extremely fortunate to live in such a well informed and well equipped time and place. Our medical conditions are manifestations of our psychological state. Meet the clinicians half way. They will always do their utmost to use their resources to help. C.

Dear Chaz, try to stay calm and breath. You only human and like most of us, think we can get away with unhealthy lifestyles, which eventually catch up with us. At least you have realised this now and I am sure will move forward more positively. Take care of yourselves, we all care about you and understand the ups and downs of our journey and liver disease. Best wishes Dandy Jones 🙏❤️

Thank you for yr honesty... its been 17 months without drinking. I'm not ashamed to admit my problems with alcohol as it might help people but I am ashamed of not listening for all them years when I was warned and warned and warned. It feels like I shouldn't have a transplant because I did this to myself and I feel like I'm wasting everyone's time but I I know I'm worth the effort. We all are ... all worth it. Good luck mate and keep off the poison.

Bless you ..did you have to have a stent fitted to stop the bleed ? ... if so that's an amazing op that's life saving ..on the other hand if it stopped on its own you are equally lucky as you have now got an amazing chance of a new life alcohol free x

It stopped on its own but had 2 varices banded. They didn’t think a stent was needed xx

I have bleeding varices and require two weekly transfusions but I am getting ablation on my stomach to seal the veins which are really bad . Ask about this.

Hi Chaz, thanks for your post, so pleased you are ok and that you posted this. I had a massive varices bleed nearly 10 years ago and was told I had only hours to live but here I am. I also have been around drinkers lately and on all inclusive holidays and thought "ooh a Baileys nightcap might be ok" I was too scared to have it and thankfully after reading your post, I will remember the fear and and the faces of my sobbing children on the day that they sat by my bed watching me dying. I also had ascites and had about 20 litres of fluid drained off my abdomen, I still have a scar on my left side and when alcohol tries to lure me, I touch it as a reminder. Your post has given me a sharp slap and is just what I need. I am now addicted to sugar and carbs so starting today, I will really try to get some healthy eating back on track Thank you

😀

Chaz3125 profile image
Chaz3125 in reply to tracyliz

Thankyou for posting your story! I am so worried I am going to die again now any time soon so this has made me feel better. Enjoy the rest of your holiday xx

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