Hey all, im on the lookout for a virtual hug today after a horrible weekend. Some of you know my situation with my dad already (stage 4 cirrhosis). He spent the last 6days consuming 8 bottles of whisky and on Friday began spiralling. He had HE so bad he didn't know whether it was night or day and was up every 4hrs to get a drink. He got tremors and slept for over 12hrs, once he woke up he was clearly in withdrawal. I've been with him all weekend helping him get comfortable in bed and cleaning up. Paramedics came out yesterday but won't take him in. I don't blame them (it's probably the 18th time this year he has rung them to try and get into hospital during withdrawal periods, I suspect because of the morphine they give him and he wants the easy option.
I just keep thinking how many times can we go on this merry-go-round (drink escalating -peak-withdrawl) before its the last time😪😪😪
last week I ended up going and buying the drink for him because he was trying to get in the car. I thought he might kill someone. He got so mad at me when I hid the keys and his phone. I know it's the drink talking but the hurtful words still sting. He has no recollection of the last week at all.
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Desperate-daughter
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So sorry to hear how rough it is at the moment. If you haven’t already I’d recommend speaking to Al-anon. They are there for us to just chat, rant, cry or vent to and really do listen and understand what it is like for family or friends of a drinker.
I’m amazed at how many of us on here are dealing with similar issues and I know this forum is helping me feel less alone.
There’s nothing more painful than watching someone you love destroy themselves and feeling helpless.
I hope this week is a bit brighter for you! Just remember you are doing your best and no matter what, at least you have tried to help.
Take care x
I am so sorry to hear of your situation.
I am sure our forum members will be along to share and support you.
As already mentioned, perhaps you can call al-anon.
Oh you poor soul. My heart goes out to you. Sending you love and a huge hug. Hope you can dig deep for all the strength you need to get you through this. Alcohol wrecks so many lives and until your Father finds the reason to give it up he will keep destroying his own and expect you to put yours on hold to be there for him, clearing up his mess, taking the abuse and keep supplying his poison. Don't let this continue, as hard as it is, you can walk away, let him hit his rock bottom, realise what his drinking has done and what and who he will lose if he continues, tell him, get help, give up and you'll be back. Yep ... tough love. I threw my husband out, he stayed with his Mum where he had time and space to think and the penny finally dropped. He was about to lose me, his home and his kids. I told him, give it up and you can come home. He did give up for 3 months but it was too late for him, he did come home, but in a coffin. I hope for you, the changes can be made and your Dad sees the light in time.All the very best to you both.
Oh love i feel your pain im going through the same thing with my husband, its soul destroying and exhausting, there's nothing you can do to be honest untill he wants to quit, ive tried belive me, all i can say is take time out for yourself, even if its just a walk or go for a coffee, you need to have some time to yourself from this nightmare situation or you'll be dragged down with him, you want change him no matter how hard you try untill he wants to change sending you a virtual (((hug)))
A big huge hug for you,it must be so soul destroying, it truly is heartbreaking,
Isn’t it so difficult? do you buy it to try to prevent someone else losing their life if he had got in the car? I think you made the right decision personally as it sounds he would have got his hands on a bottle one way or another so don’t feel guilty.Guilt! The one thing we carry when watching a loved one going through this terrible journey, I did walk away from a similar situation but it was a boyfriend not a family member.
You must be feeling at your wits end and drained. Only You will know when it’s the right time to step down and be able to say to yourself ‘ I did my best.’
I sympathise with your predicament but it will suddenly become clear once you think it over thoroughly. So sorry to hear your dad is not trying to fight his demons and he may or may not in the future.
I do understand your reasoning for going to get the drink for your dad, in fear of him driving and killing someone. Because that is exactly what my brother did Dec 5th three years ago. He drove drunk and had a head on collision. He was killed along with the other driver!!! Alcohol can be a terrible thing, especially when someone drunk is behind the wheel. I hope your dad gets in recovery soon. As I am in recovery from alcohol and drugs, 8 months clean. So I know FIRST hand how tough it can be and how dangerous it can be. But I also know we can overcome and get to the other side...as long as we're still alive, there is Hope!!! Sending my virtual Hug💜❤💙
What a tough read and incredibly horrendous thing for you to go through. Kudos for your resilience, sober journey and for sharing your story with such compassion. Wishing you the absolute very best and of course the same to desperate daughter. As you say there is hope.
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Feeling a bit sad and down
Still feeling lost but frightened now!
Feeling a bit deflated 😔
A positive feel today
I feel like such a failure
