Last Christmas

[gordon76]

I have chronic cirrhosis and am crying every day, I know how much I have hurt my family. I know it is too late now for a liver transplant. I am only 44. I wish I never had touched the whiskey. I am leaving behind a beautiful wife,daughter, a wonderful mum and dad and lovely sister. This will my last Christmas.

[Xenom0rph]

Hi Gordon, i know your head isn't in a great place at the moment however i too have Chronic Cirrohsis. Depending on the damage and what you are doing to limit it, it may not be a death sentence. I am of course, not a doctor and was told twice in the last 12 months that i might not make it 4 weeks.

Give us some more info, reach out privately, use the British Liver Trust helplines, they are amazing and so is your body.

THinking about you at this time.

[gordon76 in reply to Xenom0rph]

Thanks I damage my liver back in August, but never told anyone, it is now nearly end of December, I know it is too late

[Xenom0rph in reply to gordon76]

Get some professional advice Gordon. Maybe you have already been told this from a medical practitioner but that's not clear from your post.

[Millie09]

Hi Gordon, Bless you, I know how you feel , 12 years ago I was given 6 months to live ,failing liver due to chronic alcohol abuse ..

Not proud but it is what it is and thankfully turned my life around drink wise ..

Please don't worry, I worried and cried for many months , was sober then fell off the wagon a few times due to personal family loss etc that I had no way of dealing with at the time .

I too was told it was too late for a transplant.

Thing is we or not even doctors or liver specialists can really say long term what the outcome will be of any one of their patients, even now no one knows whats around the corner, try not to live day by day worrying about what may or may not happen, try to live each day as it were your last, worrying won't help, I know as I spent many many months wallowing in self pity .

Please message me if you feel the urge to ever pick up its not easy I know especially this time of year, Xmas is and always will be a bad time for me but if I can remain sober for what will be my 5th Xmas then you have the power ..

Wishing you a very happy Christmas 🎄

[Hidden in reply to Millie09]

What a lovely supportive reply. Thank you.

[Millie09 in reply to Hidden]

Thank you 😊!.. i try my best if I .Merry Christmas to all of you in administration

[Hidden in reply to Millie09]

And a very Merry Christmas to you 🎄

[Millie09 in reply to Hidden]

Thank you 😊!

[Hidden]

Gordon,

Please consider reaching out for some support, our nurse led helpline is open today until 3pm on 0800 652 7330 and also your GP has a duty of care to help you.

Remember you are not alone. Many people live with chronic cirrhosis. Keep talking to the members here, they have first hand experience of similar situations and are very kind and supportive.

Do think about calling your GP today.....

[Laura009]

Is this what your doctor told you 12 days ago Gordon?

[Hidden]

Gordon please take some comfort in what others have said, you will fight the good fight I sure of that and you don't know for sure this Xmas will be your last, many have had many more Xmas times after a terrible diagnosis and outcome and are still here today, as they have turned there life around,stopped drinking and started living and I know you will do the same. I don't know if your still drinking or not but what I do know its easier not to start than it is to give up. So I wish you nothing but good things going forward, you have a lovely family around you so it sounds, so thats worth fighting for believe me. Take care Gordon and all the best, chin up, you got this 👍. Ashley

[AyrshireK]

Gordon, in previous posts you have made comments that you got cirrhosis in August and arn't eligible for transplant but you also seem never to have seen a doctor with this condition unless you did finally go and see your GP a couple of weeks ago.Without going to the doctor, seeing a hospital specialist or being assessed for a transplant you don't know that this is your last Christmas or anything else.

You really need to be seen by a hospital doctor, have thorough tests done and then find out what the state of play is. We have members on here who have been in comas, loosing blood, having ascites drains and being about as poorly as you can get and have still come through it.

Let us help you.

Best wishes,

Katie

[Laura009]

I'm sorry Gordon but none of your posts are making any sense. There are people here who can help you but not if you don't respond to them after they have gone to the trouble of talking to you. It's very difficult to know what you looking for as regards help and support or understanding cirrhosis, treatments and the transplant procedures. So perhaps you could be more specific ?

[PonchoAGC]

Be positive my friend God is good 😊

[TT-2018 in reply to PonchoAGC]

He is certainly working in mysterious ways on this one.

[Hidden]

Thinking of you and hoping that you are wrong. Sending love and prayers ❤️🙏

[Dogbot]

Hi gordon76 It’s not a nice place to be where you are now especially this time of the year, you probably don’t know my history but 17years ago I was admitted in to hospital the casualty doctor came to see me and plugged in some drips the took a bit of history from me and left.

My wife sat next to me and in the morning the doctor came back and said, WELL your still here then I thought I was going to have to come and sign the death certificate for you last night.

Well long story short with lots of hospital stays and a wonderful wife and fantastic doctors and nurses I’m still here and on the transplant list awaiting the call any time now.

I think the long and short of it is talk to your professionals talk to the liver trust and hopefully you might get a second chance I don’t touched the alcohol anymore as we all understand about it a lot of us have been there so I hope you have a Happy Christmas and a wonderful New Year the wife and I will be thinking of you 👍

Stay Safe All

Dogbot 🐶🌈

[Beb_2012]

You are not alone. When you read some of the supportive replies you will know this. Take some courage from what you read and know that everyone feels guilty and low at some point. Spend time, if you can, with your family. Enjoy the the time, don’t feel guilty make memories (if only via zoom) The first step is to put yourself first and only then can you be the best you can for those around you. Try not to be consumed by guilt and blame; just for half an hour to start with. Hold your head up and see the good around you. Take care, post whatever you need, whenever you need people will always be here.

[cammeag]

Gordon, I’m not attacking you my friend but this talk of last Xmas etc sounds like your playing a record you’ve heard a number of times! I too have done this pre failure. Can I be honest?

I believe it’s a message to ourselves saying, ‘Well, you don’t have much time left, it’s too late for me, I may as well get continually hammered!!

If you keep saying it, you ‘will’ keep doing it...until...it is too late.

Be honest. Talk to us or someone else but make sure you are totally honest, it’s amazing where a little humility gets you. If you want to keep on drinking then please do not tell us on here!

I really do hope you seek some help, you have no idea how amazing the liver actually is and what it can stand, whiskey or no whiskey. I really hope you pull through this.

[Lam1e]

Hi Gordon

Please don’t give up hope🙏 Christmas 2018 could very well have been my last one! Get help, be persistent, get the tests and get a proper diagnosis🙏

So many people here in similar situations, but we are getting through it and are here to support each other🙏

Two years ago I was very ill, with then undiagnosed cirrhosis, I had ballooned up, swollen everywhere. I was completely in denial! If friends had not taken me to the Emergency Department in the 29th of December I would probably not have made it to 2019!

The first 4 months of 2019 saw me admitted to hospital 3 times! I was assessed for Transplant in August 2019 and was this time last year waiting in King’s to come home to my local hospital! This year I have been working for 3 weeks!

We can’t change the past, We can accept it, and look forward to the future!

It’s not easy m, there are lots of ups and downs and even some side to side!

Please stay safe and keep talking to us💜🙏

[Kevlock16]

Hi Gordon,

I too had cirrhosis. I also had Hep C for 35 years. I had no idea

until I went to my GP for an unrelated problem. After tests it was

discovered I had late stage Liver Cancer as well.

I thought I was gone. I was assesed for a transplant and only just

qualified because of my weight. I was booked in for TACE treatment

to shrink the tumours.

One month before the TACE appointment I had a transplant.

From my initial GP appointment to transplant was 10 months.

That was on December 29th 2015.

I'm still here. Never give up.

[Xenom0rph]

Gordon, how are you?